Is mommyhood ruining your social skills?

[xmasbaby7]

Weird question that I won't be able to articluate well, but I'll try.

Does anybody else just feel different socially now? Since I had dd and began interacting with the outside world, I just feel different.

I used to be so extroverted and socially confidant, the type who could make the insecure person feel at ease. Now I feel like a mess! I go to these moms' groups and just feel like I lost my touch in making friends as easily as it once was.

I am still making them, thankfully, and meeting all sorts of amazing women, but I find myself stripped of my usual "social security". I second guess myslef all the time after I say anything. This is SO not the old me.

Anyone else just feel out of sorts? Is it because at least 60% of our brain is on our babe the whole time and we are distracted andanxious?

Is this that playgroupnd anxiety I have read mothers write about? Will it go away?

Thank you for following my neurotic post!

[Panthira]

Originally Posted by xmasbaby7

Is mommyhood ruining your social skills?

Totally! But I had none to begin with, so it's no big loss.

[Spark]

Uhhhhhhhhhhh. Uhhhhhhhhhhhh. Uhhhhhhhhhhhh. Hmmmmmmm.

Uh.

Yes. I think so, uh, yeah.

[darkpear]

I never had any either. On that Myers-Briggs test I consistently score 90% introvert (INTP actually, which is a 'rare' type and not one that tends to relate well to others) and I've always been something of a recluse. I feel bad, because no playgroups have ever worked out yet for us and Amalie is a HUGE extrovert. I have no idea where she gets it, but she will strike up a conversation with quite literally anybody and makes 'friends' every time we go out - now that she's pottying (yay!) I really ought to get her signed up for dance or gymnastics or something where she can regularly see the same group of kids.

Being a mom has made me a lot more assertive though

[Taedareth]

My Myers Briggs is INFP. I'm a major intravert too, but I actually find now that I have a baby in tow, I have a lot more in common with other women. It's so easy to meet other moms now and have things to talk about with them. It's fun.

[darkpear]

Oh, I do great with the small talk. That's as far as it ever goes though. I haven't made a real friend in... gosh, years. Maybe since high school actually, if online friends don't count. I think they do though

[Panthira]

I'm an INTP too, but barely an introvert. I've taken it too many times to count and always the same.

[winonamom2be]

Was always an enfp here, but now am useless unless talking to other moms for the most part. My poor dh has brought me to some faculty functions at the University he just got a tenure track job at and I can't seem to talk to anyone about anything.

Part of it is I feel they just look at me and think, 'New mom. Nothing interesting there.' I mean, no one asks me anything about myself - it's not like there's any, 'So, what do you do?' conversation anymore.

But gosh, I go to Baby and Me classes and have a blast with the moms, and I started my own weekly Mom group at a local cafe which is going very well. I can talk to MOMS just fine - it's just everyone else I can no longer socialize with...

[oliversmum2000]

acatually i have found that having a little one by my side makes me feel so much more confident and social, like a security object!

they make me feel like i dont care if anyone thinks i am daft or silly as my child loves me and i dont care about what other people think so now i am a lot more confident

[leahida]

I feel a little less articulate than I used to be. That has been something I've noticed since being pregnant, and it hasn't gotten any better. But socially, I am having a great time with the other moms I know. We all have mommy brain so it evens itself out LOL...

I think I have a harder time being social with my non-mommy friends (feeling like all I have to talk about is motherhood and the babe, etc). So sometimes I am quieter than I used to be, just trying to restrain myself from endless Sami talk LOL.

[persephone3]

Originally Posted by leahida

I feel a little less articulate than I used to be. That has been something I've noticed since being pregnant, and it hasn't gotten any better. But socially, I am having a great time with the other moms I know. We all have mommy brain so it evens itself out LOL...

I think I have a harder time being social with my non-mommy friends (feeling like all I have to talk about is motherhood and the babe, etc). So sometimes I am quieter than I used to be, just trying to restrain myself from endless Sami talk LOL.

:

the funniest thing is when people try to talk to me when i'm nursing. i literally can't think of words to save my life. i'm just all, uh, the thing, you know, with the stuff?

i have to make a concerted effort to ask people about themselves so we get off the subject of the baby. and i've found that it's really easy to "hide" behind the baby wehen we go out. let her be the center of the attention.

i'm an infp too. how funny!

[amygoforth]

I'm ISFJ, but I can't remember what it all means. All I remember is that I'm borderline on all my letters! My Libra-ness in action!

Yeah, my social skills are pretty much mush now. I'm a strange bird, I think. I appear pretty friendly and social on the outside. People seem to like me (at least they act like they do). But I have to literally DRAG myself out the door to go anywhere. Even with the kids. DH is pretty introverted too, but he still likes to socialize with work and school friends. I hate doing that. I suck at the small talk, and I always end up giving too much information. As in, "Yeah my water broke ALL OVER THE BED! My doula said my bag was bulging out of my yoni, can you believe that?!" Or, "Drew only poops once a week or so, but when he goes, man-oh-man is there A LOT!" I guess that's why mommy friends are great to have. A big problem for me is finding like-minded mommies to hang with. I have a couple who I love dearly, but I don't see them often enough. The play group I used to frequent was waaaay too square for my taste.