When we got pg, DH had three grandparents. Then his grandfather was dx-d with cancer, end stage, and died within weeks. Now his widow, DH's grandmother is on the verge of being dx-d with terminal cancer.
They both wanted to meet their first great-grandchild *so* much. They were so excited. I don't like gmil, but I appreciate how much she loves this baby even before it is born (even if that has manifested itself in busybody-ness and insisting on buying millions of little pink baby things).
Last Monday she was feeling really bad and went to the ER. She had a completely perforated bowel from an ulcer, suspicious spots on her liver (that they found while repairing the perforation), and has had pneumonia for a while--along with suspicious lumps in here lungs.
We all saw how run-down she was when we went to thier winter home in Alabama after gfil died, but she insisted she'd seen a doctor about her cough and breathing issues, and she's smoked for sixty years, so what can you really expect, kwom? She claimed it was a bit of emphysema and a separated rib. Turns out some quack in AL prescribed 600 mgs ibuprofun three times a day for her "separate rib" that was actually (almost certainly) lung cancer and pneumonia. Keep in mind this is a women who has a couple of ulcers and was just widowed. She needed to be referred to a psychiatrist or counselor to cope with her loss, and at least have gotten some testing to figure out what the problem was. And even I know that a ton of ibuprofun is not a good idea for someone with ulcer troubles! But I'm getting rambly.
We went to see her today (she is over an hour away. DH and I tried to go on Tuesday but I was too tired. We need to balance going all out to support her with taking care of the baby) and she's in bad shape. The doctor wanted to get consent from fil to do a more complete biopsy later this week, but he's pretty sure it's lung cancer and that it's either metastized from somewhere or to somewhere. The spots on her liver are probably also cancer.
her living will specifies no chemo for cancers with a low survival rate and fil and the doctors have pretty much agreed that if the tests show conclusively that it's cancer they are not going to treat her for anything but pain relief.
Until this winter I had thought it was pretty rare for cancer to kill so quickly, but it's apparent that both of them had their respective cancers for a while before being officially diagnosed.
I was standing there, very pregnant in the hospital room (very careful hand and face-washing after, and I made sure DH and I didn't touch anything, especially not door handles, elevator buttons, etc), and it was just obvious that everyone just want sthis baby to be born *NOW* so that gmil can see her before she does. And at this point no one knows when that will be.
So we're going on the 'natural induction' lifestyle--walking twice a day, working on positioning, sex daily, etc. I'm not gonna risk bad stuff by going a medical induction, but I was mentally prepared to have this baby at the end of the month or the beginning of June. Now the whole family, myself included, is waiting with bated breathe, hoping the babe shows itself within a week or so. My EDD is the 15th.
And then we get to face the challenges and worries about taking a newborn to the hospital
Moby wrap and not touching anything should do the trick, but the very idea still makes me nervous.
And FIL, MIL, DH and I are her only family in state. We're all over an hour away. DH and I are in that part of the state twice a week for my classes, but it's so tiring going to class a tthis point that going to the hospital too is gonna be hard, although we promised to visit on Thursday.
I wish FIL and MIL would have her move in with them, but I don;t know if she would be ok with that. At this point it looks like she will either die without ever leaving the hospital or will have to go on hospice care--but there is no one to be with her 'round the clock. I'm worried that DH and I should really do this--we spend a lot fo time in her area, we don't have work commitments other than class a couple times a week--but wiotht eh baby coming we can't focus our energy on gmil.
We're discouraged. I just wish this baby would come. I will feel like I've failed them so much if she doesnt' survive to see her great-grandchild. i know that's irrational, but I'll still feel that way.
They both wanted to meet their first great-grandchild *so* much. They were so excited. I don't like gmil, but I appreciate how much she loves this baby even before it is born (even if that has manifested itself in busybody-ness and insisting on buying millions of little pink baby things).
Last Monday she was feeling really bad and went to the ER. She had a completely perforated bowel from an ulcer, suspicious spots on her liver (that they found while repairing the perforation), and has had pneumonia for a while--along with suspicious lumps in here lungs.
We all saw how run-down she was when we went to thier winter home in Alabama after gfil died, but she insisted she'd seen a doctor about her cough and breathing issues, and she's smoked for sixty years, so what can you really expect, kwom? She claimed it was a bit of emphysema and a separated rib. Turns out some quack in AL prescribed 600 mgs ibuprofun three times a day for her "separate rib" that was actually (almost certainly) lung cancer and pneumonia. Keep in mind this is a women who has a couple of ulcers and was just widowed. She needed to be referred to a psychiatrist or counselor to cope with her loss, and at least have gotten some testing to figure out what the problem was. And even I know that a ton of ibuprofun is not a good idea for someone with ulcer troubles! But I'm getting rambly.
We went to see her today (she is over an hour away. DH and I tried to go on Tuesday but I was too tired. We need to balance going all out to support her with taking care of the baby) and she's in bad shape. The doctor wanted to get consent from fil to do a more complete biopsy later this week, but he's pretty sure it's lung cancer and that it's either metastized from somewhere or to somewhere. The spots on her liver are probably also cancer.
her living will specifies no chemo for cancers with a low survival rate and fil and the doctors have pretty much agreed that if the tests show conclusively that it's cancer they are not going to treat her for anything but pain relief.
Until this winter I had thought it was pretty rare for cancer to kill so quickly, but it's apparent that both of them had their respective cancers for a while before being officially diagnosed.
I was standing there, very pregnant in the hospital room (very careful hand and face-washing after, and I made sure DH and I didn't touch anything, especially not door handles, elevator buttons, etc), and it was just obvious that everyone just want sthis baby to be born *NOW* so that gmil can see her before she does. And at this point no one knows when that will be.
So we're going on the 'natural induction' lifestyle--walking twice a day, working on positioning, sex daily, etc. I'm not gonna risk bad stuff by going a medical induction, but I was mentally prepared to have this baby at the end of the month or the beginning of June. Now the whole family, myself included, is waiting with bated breathe, hoping the babe shows itself within a week or so. My EDD is the 15th.
And then we get to face the challenges and worries about taking a newborn to the hospital
Moby wrap and not touching anything should do the trick, but the very idea still makes me nervous.And FIL, MIL, DH and I are her only family in state. We're all over an hour away. DH and I are in that part of the state twice a week for my classes, but it's so tiring going to class a tthis point that going to the hospital too is gonna be hard, although we promised to visit on Thursday.
I wish FIL and MIL would have her move in with them, but I don;t know if she would be ok with that. At this point it looks like she will either die without ever leaving the hospital or will have to go on hospice care--but there is no one to be with her 'round the clock. I'm worried that DH and I should really do this--we spend a lot fo time in her area, we don't have work commitments other than class a couple times a week--but wiotht eh baby coming we can't focus our energy on gmil.
We're discouraged. I just wish this baby would come. I will feel like I've failed them so much if she doesnt' survive to see her great-grandchild. i know that's irrational, but I'll still feel that way.
:
Sorry, my intention is not to make the thread about *me* rather than you - but I wanted to show that I can kinda sorta understand part of where you're coming from, and you're welcome to pm me if you need to talk more.
