enough love for second baby....

[lilbanditos]

Feeling a bit deflated tonight...that I feel like I can't give my 1 year old son the same attention that my three year old daughter demands. I spent so much time with her as a baby, and with him, life has just moved so fast, can't believe he is already one. Just wondering, does anyone else feel like they can't spread their love around evenly? It is there, I just want to be sure he is getting enough...I appreciate your inputs.
Thanks.

[Carla]

Hang in there, lilbanditos! I think every Mom has been there, I know I have! You're doing the best you can and are obviously a great Mom since you are worried about doing your best.

Whenever I feel that way, I try to nail down specifically why I get down~ did he need me in some way today that I couldn't respond to? What exactly did I do with #1 that I am not doing with #2. If I have specific goals, I can schedule things in and concentrate on doing them more, instead of just getting overwhelmed that I can't do everything, kwim? Also, doing things with them together, which I'm sure you do, makes me feel like #2 is actually getting more attention than #1.

Not telling you how to parent, just some things that have helped me get through the bad days. Also, is there time your partner or relative can let you have some alone time with ds?

Good luck to you!

[Lady of Z Lake]

I *totally* feel guilty about spending time with the baby over my 3-year old. I love them both more than life itself, but the baby takes priority over my "big" girl when he's crying or trying to play in the toilet or whatever.

I can't just sit down and play a game with her anymore. Instead of enjoying breakfast with her I have to feed the baby too. Etc.

I feel spread very thin, and I feel like it's my dd who gets the shaft.

I used to want 3 children sooooo badly. But I can't EVEN imagine how it's possible given there's only one of me (and dh, but he's not here most of the time). I don't know how you mamas w/ 3+ kids do it. Maybe it's just personality type, and I'm not even sure I was cut out for 2!! LOL!

[joyful]

Yes, I have two sons, ages 2yrs8months and 5 months, and I worry about this alot. Sometimes I feel like I give more attention to my younger one and sometimes the other way around. But I often feel as if someone is getting left out. I guess I am just learning the balancing act of having two. One thing that has helped me is to make the brothers a part of each others lives. DS#1 really does help alot with the baby and loves him and baby just loves his big brother which makes big big brother really feel special. I'm trying to nurture their relationship and I hope that will help to even thing out a bit. I also think Carla has some great suggestions.

[lilbanditos]

Thanks

Thanks for all your support. It is so hard, but I know that my son (1) knows how much I love him. His sister (3) does demand more attention sometimes, but I also know there are a lot of times that she has to wait until I am done changing a diaper, or putting him down....It is a balancing act! Keep up the good fight!