Christian mamas - are you "weird" at church? LOL!

[canadiyank]

I was just wondering if you were looked on as "weird" at church. LOL! There are a few Ezzo-ites at church (our church will not ever teach Ezzo), but also some extended breast-feeders, co-sleepers, etc. But no one really "AP," if you know what I mean. People think I'm a saint that I do cloth dipes, buy organic food etc. I don't think people think I'm weird, but neither do I feel completely comfortable saying *everything* that I do...of course, my friends know, I just don't advertise it, KWIM?

Just wondering how you felt or were perceived...

[DebraBaker]

Your church sounds a lot like mine.

There are a few Ezzoites (one woman with a 4YO is sort of the mothering guru for some inconceivible reason) but the Pastor wouldn't touch this mess with a 10 foot poll.

There are earthey chrunchey types as well. WE're in sort of a cool small group (the church seems to be divided geographically east and west and the westerners are sort of cool and the easterners are sort of mainstream)

I will speak my mind if the subject comes up but I try to live in harmony with others.

...Although I have decided that I will warn people against Ezzo if they're pregnant because if those Ezzoites are pushing their agenda why should I feel meek about sharing my concerns??

Most think I'm curious because I'm vegetarian but, again, I don't trumpet the fact and we just get along.

Around Christmas time there was in incident at a party where a fellow (nice guy) was talking about his daughter's boyfriend's son (3YO) who was out of control and "needed a good spanking".

Upon discussion I found out that the poor boy had a drugged out mother in jail and the father was fighting for custody. Hello! doesn't anyone realize that the child is out of control because of his stupid environment and what he *needs* is a loving home and consistancy. (and, yes, I said this to the group) and the *last* thing he needed was a spanking. "But the Bible says to spank" Me, "no it doesn't" "all kids need to be spanked or they're brats" "Do you like Julianna?" "yes, she's a sweet little girl" "....and she has never been spanked!!"

Grrrr.....but mostly they're sweet and think I'm crunchey but that's life.

Debra Baker

[barbara]

Pretty much the same here. Our family is considered a little wierd or curious, but then not really in a bad way. At family and youth gatherings they have started making sure there is vegetarian food available for us. I don't know, I feel like people like us because we are crunchy.

In the past, at other churches, I felt like I always had to fight for my right to be who I am and parent gently. Everyone always wanted to "teach" me the "Biblical" way to discipline. I still have friends who think they are going to influence my parenting, but for the most part people are impressed with my teens and adult children, so they figure I must be doing something right!

-b

[Super Pickle]

Nah, I'm not weird. Although I am the one who most fits the description of an "AP" mother, and I'm probably the only one with a subscription to Mothering. Like at Barbara's church, they started always having vegetarian fare for us at potlucks and such.
There are really only six other moms in my church and each one of them is very loving and nurturing and all of them stayed home with their children when they were little (3 went back to WOH when their children went to school).
My pastor and his wife spank occasionally but they don't try to tell me to do the same. They usually addresses discipline with good communication tools but their second child is extremely difficult and sometimes they resort to spanking. When I told them I was pregnant with #2, they said they were elated and thought I should have 15 kids (no, they're not into the quiverful thing) becasue they thought I was such a great mother. That made me feel really good. We're learning from each other.

[Amazlilith]

What is Ezzo?

I have never heard of Ezzo...could someone catch me up on this? Thanks

[canadiyank]

Ezzo is a man who has written several books, most of them geared toward Christians, on how to parent the "Biblical" way. He ridicules APing, claims his way is God's way (his company is called Growing Kids God's Way - pretty arogant!), and gives truly dangerous false medical advice. I have read both Preparation for Parenting and the secular version, Babywise. Very rigid scheduling system which has landed babies in the emergency room for malnutrition. Unfortunately, his books are very convincing, especially when they claim to be the only way and if you do ANYTHING outside of his method you're going to hell and so are your kids. I felt so terrible when I read these books, I was a very new mama but just felt instinctively he was wrong. Fortunately, a lady at church knew the Ezzo-ites were trying to get me and, although she is not AP, gave me a bunch of info on how dangerous this method is, and that he has been kicked out of three churches b/c apparently his character is less than stellar.

See www.ezzo.info - they have lots of good info there, especially useful if churches are debating whether of not to teach this program.

[its_our_family]

Ezzo ACK!!!!!!!

We are new to our church. Dh is the new music minister. Anyway, they don't really know us yet but I can tell you this....They are ALL into EZZO!!! Which really dumbfounds me. For one he isn't remotely scriptural do NOT get me started!

Anyway, we are borderline on extended bfing (in thir eyes anyway! Ds is almost 1). I've gotten comments like, "Oh is he still on formula?" And I'm like, "Uh no! he is bf'd and has never had formula." They think we are "asking for it" when they hear that we part-time co-sleep. They don't know our view on medicine and preventive chiropractics yet. but wait till they do!

Anyway, we are going to be known as the "Weird" parents. they have never appoached us about Ezzo and they better think twice about it if they ever want to!

BTW...I have never left ds in the nursery for more than a potty trip. But the lady in charge of the nursery is fine with it....cause i stay with ds. I want him to play...and I hate sunday school anyway!!

[ekblad9]

I would say we're borderline. I go to church with a couple members that are here. Other than that, we're kind of odd. I would say probably about 5 - 10 % parent like we do. Although most Catholic mothers nurse until their babies are around one year old. EBF is rare. Cloth diapering is rare but not unheard of. Homeschooling is pretty popular in our parish.

[lilyka]

Ya know i think I am in the minority but taht minority is who is the leadership of the church. two elders extended BF, co-slept, gentle parented etc. . .thier kids, 3 people on the worship team is Ap, homeschooling,non vaxing and three of them and the admistrator person were rasise that way. (and when she has kids I know she will be all crunchy parenting ) But we are definitely not the majority. We are just the visible people so it seems that way. We are also in charge of nursery and Ezzo doesn't stand a chance. hey, maybe it isn't such a bad place after all.

[lovingmomto3]

Most of the women in my church practise "the quiver full thing"(as super pickel put it) , and don't have time to even find out who Ezzo is. They all bf for at least a year, sadly I am the only cloth diaperer, and most of us co-sleep to a degree(although Rachel actually sleeps better in her cradle), and some do spank but, it isn't alot or extreme(including my husband )
No I'm not weird just a little eccentric to them.
Janie

[its_our_family]

lovingmomto3---

I just saw your sig. that cracks me up! We are taking this spring off too. But NOT for the same reason. 2 springs ago we were married (3/3/01) and the spring of 2002 we had ds....this yr we're staying HOME!!!

[Mommiska]

Well, I think most people at church think I'm a bit odd about the breast-feeding. In our area, most moms don't even initiate breast-feeding, so to still be feeding at 4 months is a big deal, let alone 3 1/2 years!

I do know that there are a few other families who practice 'reactive co-sleeping', although most of the older folk in the congregation are quick to tell them what a bad habit that is. :

I don't actually think that most families at our church spank, although I may be wrong about that.

I'm not vegetarian, but I don't eat red meat, and that is most definitely weird in our area! And they all roll their eyes behind my back at the way I limit what my kids eat.

But then - that's Scotland for you (has among the highest incidences of heart disease, etc. in Europe due to the horrible diet of its citizens).

So - they think I'm weird, but probaby not too 'out there'. We dont' have boys, but not circing wouldn't be a big deal - no one circumcises their boys over here anyway!

[Super Pickle]

T T T

It's_our_family,
This is the first I've heard of your dh's new job. Congratulations! I'm very happy for you.

[its_our_family]

Thanks!! We moved to NEwport News VA on January 22!! We've been here a month now! it is so nice to be employed!!!

[Katana]

T

Megan, Happy Anniversary! Your anniversary is also ds's birthday (he's 4). And congrats on move and the job. Yay for good things!

When I homebirthed my ds (he was 10lbs 8 oz) everyone thought I was insane. I don't really discuss a lot of the ways I raise my family with people at church becasue they raised me and my generation (most of the church is 50+) so differently.

So, if I did talk about it, they would think I was weirder, even more than they do.

We're hoping to go elsewhere, very soon, so hopefully wherever we go, we can find other AP parents. (crossing fingers).

[IfMamaAintHappy]

My church is fairly mainstream, but there are a few mamas like me there. It is a Presbyterian church, we have about 400 members, but there is a large percentage of large families at our church. I think most people have at least 3 children, and often more like 4. Several have 7-10 children. I've talked with some other moms who nursed into toddlerhood, several that co-sleep, and one or two that cloth diaper. There are also several who dont vax and more who selectively vax. Also a handful besides me that homebirth So while I am not 'wierd', I am in the minority. I have never seen anyone nurse a toddler in the sanctuary (which I did repeatedly with Grace at that age), they can expect me to when/if Lily nurses that long. Then I bet I'll be 'wierd'!

[phathui5]

I know that my ds is the oldest one "still" nursing (2.5 yrs). One of the pastor's wives switched to formula around 3 months because (in the words of her husband) "you have to wean them sometime." There aren't many other kids at our church, but I know a couple of the families did the cry to sleep thing, whereas we co-sleep.

I'm also the one who is in charge of the nursery there, and the one pastor keeps trying to remind me that we have portable cribs (whoopee!). I keep hoping I'll be a good influence on the ones that don't have kids yet.

[applejuice]

Yes, I have always been an oddball at any church I attended.

Most people are medical minded, very mainstream.

Me ...hb, bf, ap, hs, ...I am a weirdo!

My favorite aunt never married because she wanted to marry a devout Roman Catholic who was also health minded, vegetarian, and an organic gardening-juicing type.

[rwikene]

we go to a very crunchy church, there is a couple with one son and a baby on the way that is totally AP. They even built a hay bail house!!!

Another lady breastfed her first DD until she was 4 and is still nursing her youngest one, who is now 4. She encourages me to continue (not that I'm thinking of quitting) and tells me what a great mama I am for nursing.

I haven't heard or seen any spanking going on, that's a good sign.

I BF in the sancturary, nobody even bats an eye.

Our church is VERY casual though, they even have a coffee break after worship, then start the sermon. It's very comfortable and homey...just what we were looking for.

[cobluegirl]

I would say that if most of the women I know at church knew much about me they would consider me wierd...and I am not as AP as some of you!..hehe..I still bf my 22 month old and we don't vax...which of course is a strange thing..lol