"Like a Virgin" TMI

[txgal]

Okay this might be completely silly, but is anyone else scared of having sex again? We are quickly approaching the 6 week mark and dh is getting excited. I on the other hand am terrified. I don't know why I am so scared, I didn't tear, have had an easy recovery, I am just scared. I didn't go through this with Guyler because I had a CSect. Not to mention I have absolutely no sex drive right now, will it ever come back? Can anyone relate, give advice?, tell me I'm not alone.

[pfamilygal]

Two things: use lubricant and be on top (so you are in control). I never waited 6 wks, even after my vag deliveries. I think we waited 4 with our first (I had a huge epis) and 2 with our second. After my c/s's we waited about 2 wks.

[peilover010202]

Not from you DDC, but I had to comment.

I was terrified after having ds, the 6 week mark came and went and I was still scared (I had labial tears though.) finally, at 10 weeks pp I took the plunge. I can't say I enjoyed it, but it did get better. I'd say prepare your dh to be extra gentle during those first few weeks and probably some sort of lube will make things so much more comfortable for you (did for me anyway.)

[adtake]

BTDT! On top of having 'just' given birth, you still don't have your body back...this little person still has claim to it and sharing it is sooo hard! And it is scary the first time you have sex again...dont be surprised if you feel the urge to push again when you do have sex...seems to be a common thing i've heard from new moms.

and be prepared for extra dryness,..nursing moms are notorious for it....grab a bottle of your favorite lube..and dive in....lol

i'm actually looking forward to it this time ..lol...I 've been to a few *um*...toy parties in the last few weeks and am dying to try some of the fun stuff out!! *BLUSH*....don't tell hubby...

there is a book i read an excerpt from a while back..can't remember it...trying to find it...that was the funniest thing i have ever read about having sex after baby....i'll try to find a link...we could allll use the laugh and humor!

thinking of you and your impending *mommy daddy time*

sandra

It was from "Little Earthquakes" by Jennifer Wiener.... I will try to get a copy of it to post for everyone... hysterical!!

[aprilushka]

Yes, afraid with the tear and having hemhorroid issues at the moment, hopefully will clear up by 6 weeks. Really afraid. But right now I'm afraid to go to the bathroom too.

Sorry for the TMI.

[celestialdreamer]

I had a big tear from having such a fast birth, which first of all the stitches popped out a few days pp. The MW thought it would heal okay on its own (the muscle layers were still closed up okay, just the top layer wasn't sutured anymore) but then it reopened a week and half pp after I lifted my leg in the shower So yeah I'm a bit terrified of dtd We tried at 4 weeks pp with dd and it was fine, but I can definitely see waiting until 6+ weeks this time! I'm still somewhat sore down there

[adtake]

Originally Posted by aprilushka

But right now I'm afraid to go to the bathroom too.

I loooveee my stool softners!!

s

[FarmerCathy]

Originally Posted by aprilushka

Yes, afraid with the tear and having hemhorroid issues at the moment, hopefully will clear up by 6 weeks. Really afraid. But right now I'm afraid to go to the bathroom too.

Sorry for the TMI.

I'm so glad someone brought this up. Me too! Esp. the bathroom issue. It's really bad.: My midwife told me to take fish oil to help. I want to wait until I have my six week appt. (which will actually be 7 weeks) : I really want to DTD , but that's when hubby can come. She will access my tear and do a pap. Yes, planning on lots of lube cause there is none down there. I've actually been dreaming about it since about a month before I was due. But I am afraid. It's still sore down there, but mostly b/c of the bathroom issues.

[KittyKat]

I'm only 2.5 weeks PP and DH is already counting down the days LOL.

I'm feeling very ambivalent about it. On the one hand I generally enjoy it, and I like pleasing DH, but I'm SO not "in the mood" at all.

I second the lube idea, and add foreplay. Some good kissing and snuggling before will definitely help. Of course, finding time with a newborn is another issue :P

DH and I have never actually made it to the 6 week mark after previous babies... We were both ready well before that! With #4 though I had a much lower drive after he was born, I didn't get my full libido back until I started cycling again.

Kathryn

[Stayathomemommy]

we are at a week 1.5 mark and ive started to think about it. seems like everything is healed down there but my muscles are still sore and of course my "hamburger" belly is oh so pretty!! not to mention i have to wear an ugly granny nursing bra all the time or i'll leak everywhere..........none of these things get me in the mood. we will see, my DH never is pushy about these things so i can probably wait as long as possible. i am more scared of getting pregnant then anything else. i know it is so unlikely but in my head sex=baby and i dont want another one anytime soon.

there is such a thing as siblings being 9 months apart!! what do you all do. we dont use birth control but for those who do use it do you worry about it before you get your cycle back??

[aprilushka]

Originally Posted by smlwieber

I loooveee my stool softners!!

s

What do you use? I ate a bunch of prunes which helped some-- need to get more

[aprilushka]

Originally Posted by Stayathomemommy

we are at a week 1.5 mark and ive started to think about it. seems like everything is healed down there but my muscles are still sore and of course my "hamburger" belly is oh so pretty!! not to mention i have to wear an ugly granny nursing bra all the time or i'll leak everywhere..........none of these things get me in the mood. we will see, my DH never is pushy about these things so i can probably wait as long as possible. i am more scared of getting pregnant then anything else. i know it is so unlikely but in my head sex=baby and i dont want another one anytime soon.

there is such a thing as siblings being 9 months apart!! what do you all do. we dont use birth control but for those who do use it do you worry about it before you get your cycle back??

I'm planning to use FAM-- could be risky though. Last time I didn't have cycles for 14 minths, but I guess I can't count on that

[adtake]

Originally Posted by aprilushka

What do you use? I ate a bunch of prunes which helped some-- need to get more

probably not the best stuff but walmart brand stool softner..W/O the laxative in it. I had to stay on them pretty regularly with all 3 preg..and fairly regularly when not preg....

good luck!!

[Wittyone]

Well, I ended up with a partial third degree tear but once my bottom stopped hurting around day 5 or so I started thinking along these lines. I even had a dream a couple of nights ago about postpartum sex, though we didn't get that far in the dream. My first thought was terror at the slim chance of becoming pg, followed by some concern about it hurting. I know my tear still needs to heal more, I've still got a decent flow, and my breasts are the never ending fountains, so it will be a while. But I'm certainly more in the mood now than I have been in a long time. I think it is partly how much more I've fallen in love with dh watching him with our little guy...he's amazingly sweet and tender with him and it makes me melt

[KittyKat]

We tend not to use birth control. DH says he doesn't want another until 2010 at the earliest. We'll probably use FAM and barrier methods, if we use anything.

I've gotten pretty good at following my fertility signs, enough to know if sex is likely to result in a baby or not.

How DH wants to act based on that info is left up to him, I'm not really worried about it.

Co-sleeping and babywearing help with delaying the return of AF, when used along with ecological breastfeeding.

Kathryn

[Black Orchid]

I'm 2.5 weeks PP and ready to go I actually wasn't ready for months after my first DD, but this time... DH has been so supportive and wonderful and its made me fall even more in love with him. It also helps that Autumn is sleeping like a dream, so I'm doing much better this time.

I'm a fertile myrtle, so I will be using something other than bfing as BC. As much as I love being pregnant and having a baby, I want to wait another two years before we do this again!

I am afraid of it though, which is what is holding me back and why I'm subbing to this thread. It hurt really bad last time and I tore a tiny bit, so I'm afraid of ripping something I'm not bleeding or sore anymore, but I'm not sure of what is going on down there so I'm hesitant. You are not alone!!!!

[kyle98sean02]

I just hit 5 weeks and dh cant wait for my appointment. I on the other hand am not so excited. I can still feel my internal sutures from the second surgery and my pelvic bone is still pretty sore. Luckily dh is OK with waiting for me to be ready I just know he misses it. He's been getting taken care of in other ways though so that helps him wait it out a little more patiently Im not worried about b/c. My tubes were tied with the surgery, but I woulnt be surprised if the dr. messed that up too:

[KerriAZ]

I am only 11 days PP, but I, too, dread it! I did after DD, too... I have NO drive at ALL whole nursing! DH, of crouse, is TOTALLY looking forward and counting down the days until my PP appt, but I could easily wait! LOL It just holds NO interest for me! *sigh*

Kerri

[clynnr]

I was *terrified* after DD1. We waited three months, and then I finally told DH to get the lube bottle, douse everything with it, and just get it over with--don't worry about me, LOL! I had to get past the mental block, and that was the only way it was gonna work, KWIM? After that first time, it was much easier. It did hurt a little--I had a first degree episiotomy : - but the lube helped a lot.

Buy a BIG BOTTLE of it! We used it for probably a year or better. Oh wait, then we got pg again, LOL.

I had hoped to use bfing last time, but AF came back at 4 months pp, despite DD1 nursing every two hours around the clock. : We use NFP along with barrier (if we're in the mood at a fertile time ).

This time I am more "in the mood," but still sore and still bleeding a little (13 days pp). I'm positive we'll be waiting until the six-week appointment with these labial tears--ouch!

[txgal]

Update, not that you care, but. I basically did like clynnr. I just said okay let's do this, don't worry about me just go slow. I can't say I "enjoyed" myself but it wasn't painful and that was my main concern.