Finally have a quick second to post two-handed...
I'm really struggling with mama guilt and spreading the love between the two kiddos also.
I've often described my DD (23 mos) as "delightful but demanding". She's really a very happy, easy to get along with, little girl but she has VERY STRONG opinions about *EVERYTHING* and I just don't have the energy to meet all of her demands lately.
Yesterday she was way overtired and fought her nap for hours. She kept falling asleep nursing but as soon as I'd unlatch her she'd start screaming and crying. I had DS in his bassinet and was totally ignoring him even though he was fussing. I finally broke down sobbing and told her "mommy is so tired. I need you to go to sleep."
She looked so traumatized by my crying.
She asked for her paci and to lay in her bed and she finally fell asleep. Meanwhile....poor DS was all worked up by the time I picked him up because I had ignored him for so long so I felt guilty about that.
Ay, ye, ye.
I really feel like I do not have enough support right now. When DD was born it was the summer and my mother and aunts were off (school teachers) so I had visitors...who brought dinner...every day for two weeks. I just sat on the couch and watched tv and nursed DD.
This time everyone is working so I'm alone with two kids. My dad is retired and is helping me out as much as he can but it's just not the same as having my mom and aunts doting on me.
To get through the day I'm taking lots of long walks (now that it finally stopped raining after 8 STRAIGHT DAYS OF RAIN
) which is nice....but tiring. I keep forgetting that I'm not even two weeks post partum yet.
I'm already feeling anxiety about Monday when DH goes back to work and it's me and the kiddos alone again.
DD has been tv-free up to this point but I realized yesterday...after my second emotional break-down and crying episode...that I need to reconsider what's best for our family and perhaps introduce some videos.
A friend suggested letting her watch home movies of herself so I don't have to worry about what she's watching and she said her DDs love seeing themselves on tv.
I also had DH go to the library and get some nature videos -- dolphins (dd's favorite), horses, dogs, cats etc.
I think my objection to tv is more about my dislike of loud, flashy, cartoons so the nature videos and home movies might be a good compromise to help me keep my sanity.
And speaking about being flexible with my values...
I've also been using disposable diapers...exclusively on DD and part-time on DS. With DD I was SO opposed to disposables and didn't use one until she was over 6 mos. This time...reality is that I need to be able to go longer stretches between diaper changes and disposable diapers allow me to do that.
Ok...better go get some dinner.
DH is upstairs putting DD to bed and DS is happily sleeping by himself. Time to eat while I can!
I'm really struggling with mama guilt and spreading the love between the two kiddos also.
I've often described my DD (23 mos) as "delightful but demanding". She's really a very happy, easy to get along with, little girl but she has VERY STRONG opinions about *EVERYTHING* and I just don't have the energy to meet all of her demands lately.
Yesterday she was way overtired and fought her nap for hours. She kept falling asleep nursing but as soon as I'd unlatch her she'd start screaming and crying. I had DS in his bassinet and was totally ignoring him even though he was fussing. I finally broke down sobbing and told her "mommy is so tired. I need you to go to sleep."
She looked so traumatized by my crying.
She asked for her paci and to lay in her bed and she finally fell asleep. Meanwhile....poor DS was all worked up by the time I picked him up because I had ignored him for so long so I felt guilty about that.Ay, ye, ye.
I really feel like I do not have enough support right now. When DD was born it was the summer and my mother and aunts were off (school teachers) so I had visitors...who brought dinner...every day for two weeks. I just sat on the couch and watched tv and nursed DD.
This time everyone is working so I'm alone with two kids. My dad is retired and is helping me out as much as he can but it's just not the same as having my mom and aunts doting on me.
To get through the day I'm taking lots of long walks (now that it finally stopped raining after 8 STRAIGHT DAYS OF RAIN
) which is nice....but tiring. I keep forgetting that I'm not even two weeks post partum yet.I'm already feeling anxiety about Monday when DH goes back to work and it's me and the kiddos alone again.
DD has been tv-free up to this point but I realized yesterday...after my second emotional break-down and crying episode...that I need to reconsider what's best for our family and perhaps introduce some videos.
A friend suggested letting her watch home movies of herself so I don't have to worry about what she's watching and she said her DDs love seeing themselves on tv.
I also had DH go to the library and get some nature videos -- dolphins (dd's favorite), horses, dogs, cats etc.
I think my objection to tv is more about my dislike of loud, flashy, cartoons so the nature videos and home movies might be a good compromise to help me keep my sanity.
And speaking about being flexible with my values...
I've also been using disposable diapers...exclusively on DD and part-time on DS. With DD I was SO opposed to disposables and didn't use one until she was over 6 mos. This time...reality is that I need to be able to go longer stretches between diaper changes and disposable diapers allow me to do that.
Ok...better go get some dinner.
DH is upstairs putting DD to bed and DS is happily sleeping by himself. Time to eat while I can!
