when to tell DD that her daddy is not her biological father!! - Page 2

[saskmom]

Hello everyone!!!!

Thanks again for all your replies and like my wonderful seester said we did tell our dd!!! It went amazingly well.....we basically told her the story and at first I think I was being a little serious about it and she got tears in her eyes and then I put a smile on my face and asked if she was ok and she started to laugh so I think she felt my tension so I loosened it up a bit. I told her that her mommy and a different guy made and created her. So just like her firends who lived next door,(who are adopted) she is kinda adopted. We explained that DH was not actually her "real" father but her step father. To make a long story short because I feel like this is babbling a little bit....she basically understood everything....we showed her pictures of her bio dad and asked if she thought she looked like him or remembered him at all...which she didn't....the only question she asked was where does he live....We told her that if she ever had any other questions about him to always ask us whenever and to never hesitate...it was great and I feel a tremendous weight lifted off of my shoulders...the best part about the whole thing was when we were explaining to her that her "daddy" picked her and my DH said he was so glad that he picked such a great daughter and she replied saying she is glad she got such a great daddy!!! Definetly put tears in my eyes!!

So once again, I appreciate everyone's posts and hope that those going through it can get through it and learn from everyone else because I sure feel much better about it!! I almost felt like I was lying to her and now I feel closer to her!! Thanks everyone!!!

[trinity6232000]

saskmom I am so glad this went well. Thanks so much for
the update I had been thinking heavy on your dd.
to you,

[Ruthla]

I'm glad to hear it went well with your DD. I've already had a similar conversation with my 4yo! He didn't quite understand what I was talking about, but once he's old enough to learn the basics of human reproduction, this factoid isn't going to surprise or upset him.

[~AttachedAtTheHip~]

I think it should always be told from the beginning. It's never to early to start teaching her the right from the wrong. Teach her that he is not the real daddy of hers but that he is the one who is raising her and playing the father role and that she may choose to call him daddy if she'd like or see him as daddy but know she has a real one.

I have two sons from a previous marriage. We split up when I was about 2 months pregnant with my 2nd child and the oldest was 2. The oldest knew all along that he had a dad even though he was in the navy and pretty much never around. Now the baby didnt start doing visits with him till he was a year old. At this time my now husband was alreayd playing a dad role in his life. I make sure to always tell him that it's daddy to teach him but I know they will choose who is being a dad