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Financially Challenged SAHMs . . . time for a new thread! - Page 7

post #121 of 134
I'm in!!! I've been offline b/c we were too poor to keep up the internet...but then, well, it makes things hard to have no internet! So...we are in the boat of basically not making from month to month. The gas price, yes, is so costly is it scary. HOwever, I recently read something that made a little sense to me, energetically...

It is that money likes to circulate, and by paying our bills and shelling out too much for gas, we are helping it to do what it likes. It is not meant, energetically, for hoarding and saving. We must pay these things (no matter how much we like to keep the money for other needs) or else risk punishment from the establishments that control these bills. So, we should all try to send love with each bill that is sent. Send love with that card swipe taking the last $20 left on the perpetually nearly maxed credit card...Send love with the electric bill...Send love with your car payments.

This is much harder than it sounds when one feels the financial burden each minute of his/her life. But, if we can all do this than maybe this money situation will emit love and not stress and hardship. I am working on this everyday...it is very easy to forget.

I really do dislike the fact that each and every cent is spoken for before I even can lay hands on it...but I am trying to love to apy all of these bills because they are not going to disappear.

I am thankful for:

My gorgeous son.

Our wonderful landlord who is more passive about us being late than he'd like to be.

The money that has been personally leant to us with an extended pay-back time.

The days I have seeing the new discoveries my son makes.

Waiting hopefully for my man to come home.

Seeing the sun shine, the wind blow, and the leaves turn.

The peace I find in not having to know what time it is and what day it is.

I am thankful, mostly, for the cosmos granting me the gift of motherhood. I was meant to be a mommy over everything else I could have been.
post #122 of 134
Count me in too!

My DH works for WalMart and his hours are always so screwy that I can't even get a part time job. I love being a SAHM but money is always so tight. We don't have health insurance yet because Walmart has an awful plan. It would take most of his paycheck and we would still have to pay 60% of the doctors bill. My two children are 3 and nine months and they are covered by the state for now. I can't even get up the $40 to register my DH and I down at the clinic. We just bought a house and now have to worry about building a cushion in a savings account, but each time he gets paid there is never anything left over to put into the account. I wish I could find a stay at home job that wasen't a scam or I didn't have to pay for. We bought a house to stop renting and moved to NC where it is more affordable and to give our children a great life. Trouble is there is no money left over to do anything with them. Ok I'll stop now.:
post #123 of 134
Hi ladies!

I've been so beyond busy I've barely had a moment to check in with you all, but I have been thinking of you!

At the beginning of August things came to a financial head and it became abundantly clear that I would need to find some way of making a little extra money, or we wouldn't be able to pay rent. So I made the very scary and out of character decsion to sign up with The Pampered Chef and become a consultant. I charged the $90 start up kit on our emergency credit card (the one we'd been using to buy food and pay bills with) and took the plunge. I have had my stuff for just over two weeks, and I've had two shows, and I'm already making decent money. I'll get my first check direct deposited on the 8th and it'll be just under $300. I mean, holy guacamole! That might as well be a thousand dollars right now. I am so glad I decided to do this, even though I was scared out of my mind, because I still get to SAH with ds, I still get to homeschool, DH still gets to act in community theater, and it seems like our days of rationing eggs and milk are coming to a close.

Sorry, I don't mean to sound like I'm bragging or anything. I'm truly not. I'm just so darned relieved that we have a little extra breathing room. So far, it's not enough to make us financially comfortable, but the fact that I can go to the store and buy bread or apples is something worth celebrating! My hope is that I can make a few hundred a month and slowly plug away at some debt that is keeping us down.

Hugs to you guys!
post #124 of 134
I totally belong here. I am a sahm to my 7 mos old daughter. my partner has a decent job but it's his first decent job in a long time so we have alot of catching up to do with collections and stuff and no cushion whatsoever. His job basically pays the bills and leaves us a bit left over for food and diapers and gas for the car.

I go round and round in circles in my head to. I could go back to work but I would have to pay for daycare. I think it would cancel itself out. Plus I want to be home with my little girl. so we struggle but more and more I have been feeling validated that I am doing the right thing by staying home.

It is hard to hear about friends who can afford much more than us but I can't put a price on having this time with my baby.

I wish I could find something to do a few hours a day to bring in a little $$ though. a couple hundred extra dollars a month would come in so handy. But most sahm job seem to require an initial investment which I don't have so many seem like scams.

But here are some things I am grateful for:

-staying home with my baby and watching her grow each day/each moment

-we, all three of us, have health insurance!

-my parents are wonderful and buy my daughter lots of clothes and toys and "xtras" that really help.

-dp and I are learning to be frugal together and sometimes it's kind of fun (ie. learned to make our own tortillas!)

-we are healthy

-we live next to a farmer's market

lots more I'm sure, but those are the first ones I thought of
post #125 of 134
Glad to find this thread!!
Most of the SAHMs i know have very high incomes and dont worry about money at all.

I am a SAHM to Noah, 2 yrs old. Dh is in the police academy and wil graduate to being a full-fledged cop in October. He left a higher-paying job in May to follow his lifelong dream of being a cop.
We sold our old house (a moneypit, but i still liked it) in January and moved into an apartment. This was based on the realization that we could not afford our mortgage without me working. DS is a high-need kid, and I feel very strongly that I need to be home with him. We have to watch every dollar we spend in order for me to be home. All of Dh's friends think we are nuts - they all say "just put the kid in daycare and make your wife go back to work, and you could afford a new car and a house and do more fun things." It gets so frustrating having to defend our decision all the time! Dh isn't always 100% on board with it (he worries about money a lot) but most of the time he agrees that the proof is in the pudding, so to speak. Our high need kid is more well-behaved and sweeter than almost all the kids we know.

Hard things:
-I wish I had money for things like a nice haircut, non-holey clothes, and dates with DH
-I wish DH could have a new car with A/C that works
-I wish we had enough money for me to get contacts instead of my old dorky glasses
-I wish we could afford to have another baby

Things I am Thankful For:
-Being able to see my son grow and learn every day
-Spending my time at the library, park, playing and reading with Noah
-My husband's incredible work-ethic that gets him to work so hard for us
-My husband's spendthriftness (he keeps me in line - I am a spender!)
-All the little hugs, kisses and giggles I get during the day
-Naps in the big bed with DS snuggled up with me
-My sister, who is also a $-challenged SAHM, whom i can bond over not having $
-My one-day-a-week job at the church childcare center, where i get to play with DS while I "work"

Again, glad to find you all! I've gotten a lot of great ideas reading these posts!

post #126 of 134

What a great thread!!

I really need this thread right now. I have a lot going on in my life! My dh has always made very good $$. But we've recently moved around a lot which costs a bunch of money, just to end back up where we started. And to make matters worse, my dh's old job hasn't hired him back yet because he sorta "burned bridges" when he walked out and never told anyone when he quit the last time (he's worked there for 6 years on and off) So, basically we've had no income for 2 months and still don't. Our mortgage is will be 60 days late as of the 1st of Sep. We've NEVER been 1 day late, ever. We have collections and other bills that are all past due. Car payment needs to be made, insurance is late. My dh thinks he has a job at the other auto group here in town, but that's not until sometime next week. I mean there is no deffinate job yet. I'm so stressed, my dh has to call his Uncle in Montana so we can get a loan to catch up. We've made such poor $$ choices in the past, I feel ashamed. I want to learn to be frugal in every way possible!

But, I am thankful that I can stay home and watch my daughter grow and develope. I'm thankful that I don't have to put her in daycare. I'm thankful that I can homeschool her.
post #127 of 134
Boy oh boy can I relate here..

I guess we are also in the "middle".. We have enough to make our mortage, car notes, bills, etc.. But that's it.. Our groc. budget is very low and we have no cushion either. We also fall into that category of "bad past decisions" category.. We do have substantial debt, but are paying it off. We should be out of debt in less than three years completely!!! How great!!! The hardest thing is living in a very affluent area and being "broke" all the time. People see us with a new home and two cars and think we have ample money, but we don't. We are bargain binners and value meal types. Sometimes I feel bad at not being able to afford all organic foods, organic cleaning products, etc.. I feel like a "crunchy" fraud when I buy a $.80 can of Comet to clean my house instead of a $4 bottle of Seventh Gen cleaner.. I also feel grateful to have all that I have... Nice house, Cable, nice car.. So, we are stuck..

Thanks for this thread sooo much.. No judgements just love!!!

I am thankful for:

My beautiful new home, a sure gift from God
My amazing family
My amazing church
My neighbors who always know when to stop in to say Hi
My car
My mom, who lets me clean her house and make the cash to pay for my Yoga classes
My LLL group, and my mamma friends
Being able to stay home and watch my boys grow
Being healthy and whole,

I look forward to one day:

Paying off every credit debt I have
Helping other mammas through the same thing...

Much love and blessings to everyone...
post #128 of 134
Originally Posted by SimonsMamma
Sometimes I feel bad at not being able to afford all organic foods, organic cleaning products, etc.. I feel like a "crunchy" fraud when I buy a $.80 can of Comet to clean my house instead of a $4 bottle of Seventh Gen cleaner..
I totally get this! One thing that has been a *huge* help to me has been using Frontier. You can order through co-ops here on the TP at MDC or you can just contact the company personally & get an account as a buyer's group. There is no minimum order, but they do offer free shipping on orders over $250. I have placed orders with friends & family to reach the $250 minimum. I have also saved up a couple months & just placed one really large personal order if nobody else around here needs/wants anything. A $250 order every 4 months or so keeps us stocked up on healthy cleaners, organic baking/spice/tea, etc. I budget it out of our grocery/household expense category.

I easily save 1/2 on most of my cleaning stuff, toiletries, etc over what I would pay at the local co-op (since I don't have to pay their mark-up or the MSRP). This is the ONLY way I've been able to afford natural products. There is no way I could ever afford to buy all this stuff at the MSRP at the local coop. Frontier has their own products (mostly food/spice/tea type stuff) but they are also partnered with literally hundreds of other companies like 7th Gen, Jason, Avalon, Burts Bees, Toms of Maine, Glad Rags & many, many, many others.


post #129 of 134
How sweet Holly, I will look into that!!!

I have not had too much success with coops in the past. But there's always room to try again

post #130 of 134
I'm checking frontier coop out right now...thanks!!
post #131 of 134
Originally Posted by SimonsMamma
How sweet Holly, I will look into that!!!

I have not had too much success with coops in the past. But there's always room to try again

Honestly, I prefer to just save up for a few months & place one large order for myself & maybe just a few close friends & family members. You make out better when you get an account and place the order yourself because you pay no shipping, which of course isn't true when you buy it through someone else's co-op on-line.

I don't feel bad about "cheating" our local co-op out of those products either because they're not items I would otherwise normally be able to buy. I still buy all my regular bulk cooking stuff, dried fruits, etc at the local co-ops so they're getting the same business they've always gotten off me. For me I find that the Frontier prices on most of the bulk item stuff (flour for example) is usually equal too or even slightly more than what my local place charges per pound. Be very sure to check your prices because while lots of their stuff is a GREAT deal there are items that aren't!

Glad my suggestion helped!

post #132 of 134



After working full time for the last year I'm happy to say that I'm rejoining the ranks of the financially challenged SAHM. I stayed home with my son until he was 2 and then went back to work, only to find out a few months later I was pregnant with twins. So, Doc's orders, I had to quit, and honestly I'm glad. Neither DH or I have much in the way of earning power, and we have really struggled to make it in the past, so I was excited when we found jobs, at the same company, working the same hours, with owners that wanted me to work so badly, they were willing to pay my childcare costs on top of my salary. But the stress, and the childcare problems, were NOT worth the extra cash. Quite frankly, most of it went to convenience everything, with me being so exhausted from being preg. Plus the house never got cleaned, and my dh ended up with a lot more of the burden of taking care of ds. So even with the IDEAL working situation which I never thought existed, it basically sucked. I'm done. I doubt I'll go back after the girls are born, unless the bosses get onsite childcare, which they have discussed doing, since most of their employees are moms of young kids and some bring their babies to work, which interferes with business to some extent.

So back to tightening the belt. DH told me he was relieved too. He was really concerned about me and the babies because I was majorly stressed. I love that I have someone so supportive.

So right now I'm a little disappointed that I have to give up some things

-No more cute pregnancy clothes
-No more organic groceries
-No more paying to have the lawn mowed

But I'm more grateful than ever that

- I spent some time working and payed down almost all of our debt

-I now get to play with my son, who just turned 3, ALL DAY, we play trains, and make cookies and run around outside, I just love being a mommy. Doing that stuff before I had kids just made me weird, now I get respect for how good I am with my child.

- I live right by the Goodwill Outlet store, "Every item $0.95, every day." Lots of big sweaters and things to cut up and turn into cute baby things with my sewing machine.

-I get to take a nap each day with my ds.
post #133 of 134
I'll join you wonderful ladies. I think I'm sorta in the middle...

My DH is self-employed and he makes enough money to pay the bills. We don't have any "leftover". We often go 3+ weeks w/out pay because some customers take FOREVER to pay. We have a pretty low grocery budget, and I make everything from scratch. We have between 10-20k in cc debt. I have 40K in student loans. Those two things really hurt us each month...it's just like throwing our money in the trash, and I HATE it. I hate the fact that we have the cc bills and we are working slowly on paying them off....I just can't see how we'll ever get there!

I am thankful for being home and raising my 2 gorgeous kids. My super hard working, Mr. Fix-It, awesome husband! Our families who understand why we made this choice (except a select few). Our church. Our home. I'm also thankful for this thread and knowing we're not alone!
post #134 of 134
Thread Starter 
Hi fellow FCSAHM

Just popping in to say--I'm glad this thread is still going strong! If anyone wants to spinoff a topic to discuss for September, go for it

Otherwise I will try to come up with one.

anyone, anyone, . . .
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