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post #41 of 134
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post #42 of 134
I'm so broke. My Dh doesn't know how to manage money. If he would be frugal it would make our lives so much better. He bought me a $25 gift basket for Mothers Day that included cheap, tacky perfume. Two days later I can't afford to buy strawberries at the supermarket. Dh wastes a lot of money and this kind of thing happens all the time.

I'm not getting a job because I am committed to being a SAHM.
post #43 of 134
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by CinnamonDeMarco
I'm so broke. My Dh doesn't know how to manage money. If he would be frugal it would make our lives so much better. He bought me a $25 gift basket for Mothers Day that included cheap, tacky perfume. Two days later I can't afford to buy strawberries at the supermarket. Dh wastes a lot of money and this kind of thing happens all the time.

I'm not getting a job because I am committed to being a SAHM.
That's really hard when spending styles clash like that. My dh bought me a mother's day gift, and it was really hard to be grateful when I had only $30 left for groceries! But luckily he was thoughtful enough to buy me a giftcard to the craft store, so I am planning to buy supplies to make all of my Christmas gifts. My sis and I are doing a swap--I'm getting funky with wool felt and she's making, something, not sure what, so that we can give creative gifts to our in-laws without everyone getting the same thing. We love to be crafty>

Welcome cmd and De-lovely and everyone else checking in
post #44 of 134
Good morning!

For some reason i don't quite get, the IRS sent us a check for $3.00. There was a time where I would have though..."3 bucks? Sheesh, just save the postage and paper! Now I have to go to the bank for 3 bucks???" Now, however, It's more like "Cool! 3 bucks! Now I can buy some fruit or yogurt. Or maybe some potatoes!" Perception is everything
post #45 of 134
My Dh spent $250 for me for my birthday on a gift card that is non-refundable (it is for a spa, which is lovely, but...) and he put it on the credit card! I pay the bill! We have always talked about using our weekly allowance to buy gifts but he wanted to do something special for me. This means we will be paying for that spa day for a couple of months until it is paid off. I love him but that was extravagant when we do not have $250 laying around. We just had to spend $400 getting our cat's teeth cleaned. We have a bit of savings but it is dwindling fast and the only reason we had it was because we got a 2nd mortgage to pay off some debt and buy some badly needed appliances. Sigh He did just sell his kayak so some of the savings came from that. I guess that is how he justified the expense. But, still.....

We are hoping that when I do go back to work we can pay off that 2nd sooner rather than later.

I am not going to feel guilty about spending far less than $250 on him for his birthday next week. It is the thought that counts, right?
post #46 of 134
Dh has gone to sell my watch today I'm not sad because of losing a 'thing'....just what it symbolises. It was a wedding anniversary gift, back in the day when we we thought that we would be childless for the rest of our lives, so all we did was spend, spend, spend. I know that it was a gift from the heart, but then again, I know that dh loves me for far more reasons that a watch that I never wear! (I never, ever wear a watch since I started being a sahm...it's very liberating - and no, I'm not generally late for things either!)

I keep telling myself that it will buy good food for dd, and help us to keep the car going, and those are good enough reasons for me.

So, it's Thursday already - nearly the weekend (long weekend for us Canucks!). What are all of you mamas doing this weekend for frugal fun?
post #47 of 134
Thread Starter 
BabyBumblebee that IS sad. I'm sorry it has come to that for you, but I admire you for thinking in terms of what the money will be able to do for your family and especially your dd.

For frugal fun this weekend, we are probably going to go to the park on Saturday, and to the nature preserve on Sunday. They are both nearby, so the gas isn't an issue. Dh and I are also going to work on a paper mache project that we've been doing together. We have all the pieces made, but he wants to make it into a statue of an elephant and I want it to be a marionette puppet of a colorful bird We might have to have a thumb wrestle match to see who gets creative control.

I am happy because I already have a child care job lined up for the month of June. It will be two afternoons a week, for forty dollars. And the best part is that it is the nicest little girl ever. She has already been over here several times as a favor to her mom, so I know she and my son play beautifully together. I also had three more inqueries about child care, so we'll see what happens. I am hoping to average about 80 dollars a week, just working part time. Is it okay to keep posting here even if I will technically be a WAHM for the next few months?

Boongirl--try to enjoy your spa day even if it is kind of goofy that your dh did that. I think sometimes husbands just want their wives to be able to have something special that they lose thier sense of perspective and do something like that. ANd I also think since the damage has been done, that you should just relax and enjoy your day and the fact that your dh was "thoughtful" enough to want something wonderful for you. And then remember to hide the credit card

Rigama have fun spending your three dollars I know the feeling. I found a little pile of change when I cleaned out our closet the other day and did one of these
post #48 of 134
Rowdypea - that is so very cool about the job!! Yay for you! It sounds as though the little girl is going to be a delight to spend time with too...

Love the weekend ideas - I'm imagining a very colourful elephant-bird. Dying to know who wins control of the project

The weather forecast isn't terrific here, but if it's not too rainy I think we'll take dd to the railway museum 10 mins away - I got a coupon for free family admission There's lots that I want to get done around the house, and I have a secret list started of things that I need dh's help with - I think I'll spring them on him at the last minute

Had the best thing Freecycled to us last week: it's a white wrought-iron dolls bed! I have a lot of pieces of fabric, so I'm making bedding and a new canopy, and we'll give it to dd for her birthday next month. I am really thrilled, 'cos we wanted to give her something a bit 'special', and had been racking our brains for how to pay for it...Funny, I got the email saying that we'd got it just after I was thinking about how blessed we really are; that was a really nice affirmation.

On the Freecycling note though, I have offered a queen bed, and NO-ONE wants it! Can you believe it? We don't have any room to store it, and thought that maybe someone else could use it: it's older, but from Ikea, and a really classic style. But no, no takers - not even for a cottage or something. Ah well...will have to find something to do with it : Anyone in Ontario need a bed?

Off to take the dogs out for a run before the thunder hits...I spring!
post #49 of 134
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by BabyBumblebee

Had the best thing Freecycled to us last week: it's a white wrought-iron dolls bed! I have a lot of pieces of fabric, so I'm making bedding and a new canopy, and we'll give it to dd for her birthday next month. I am really thrilled, 'cos we wanted to give her something a bit 'special', and had been racking our brains for how to pay for it...Funny, I got the email saying that we'd got it just after I was thinking about how blessed we really are; that was a really nice affirmation.
I just love that story. I think a wraught iron doll bed is a fabulous gift for a little girl. And with bedding made from the heart by mama--that is really cool. I still have the teddy bear with a bed and bedding that my mom made for me when I was in third grade. And I don't have a whole lot of things from my childhood. But I will never ever get rid of that bear and his bead because it is a symbol of my mother's love that I can touch and hold and see every day.


Oh, a railroad museum would be my son's idea of a dream come true. I hope you enjoy your day.
post #50 of 134
Hello! May I join in! LOL
I don't usually come over too SAHM very often, but I was checking new posts and saw this thread! Its actually comforting too know theer are other people out there struggling paycheck too paycheck same as we do. It seems most of the people we are friends with or know, are better off financialy than dh and I are. Sometimes it gets very discouraging. I would be thrilled too just pay all the necessities, I don't need all the extras.
I do odd jobs here and there when I can. I do hair for friends and family on a regular basis. I make some soaps and lotions too sell. But, nothing that brings in very much money. But it wouldn't be worth it for me too go back too work
But as I try to remind myself often, even though money is tight I have so much too be grateful for.
I wouldn't trade the time I have with dk's for anything. I do wish I could afford more extraciricular activities for them. But I think they will still grow up to be well adjusted adults even if there schedules aren't as full as most parents around here seem too think kids schedules should be.
I do have a car even though I am always holding breathe waiting for the next car repair too happen.
I'm grateful that after 10 yr. of marriage my dh and I finally managed too purchase our own home(with help). It's small and needs some work but at least it is ours with a huge yard for the kids to run free in.
We eliminated all cc debt years ago, I don't ever want too go back. That is such a lifesaver right now, not having any debt besides mortgage. I doubt we would have gotten a mortgage if we had, our income is too low. If I get in a bind my mom will let me use hers.
Thats my basic story, thanks for letting me share!
post #51 of 134
Hi everyone! I am so glad I found this thread! I am a barely-working jazz musician, and my dh is a working-quite-a-bit-for-not-much jazz musician, and needless to say things are a bit tight. We are so lucky that several years ago I got an inheritance that allowed us to put a down-payment on a house - otherwise that would be an impossible dream. But bills are getting behind and stress is mounting. DH is not the most frugal person (I can so relate to you other mamas who posted about that!), and so we are having trouble staying within our means... cc bills are adding up, yadda yadda yadda.... Argh.. it gets stressful
post #52 of 134
Hi all, checking in again (I still have dial up and check in to MDC 2x a week). This weekend will be very frugal since we went over on our food budget for the week (and last week now that I think of it.... ) my son (11) has a baseball game and we have been invited to a housewarming pot luck after. I get myself all worked up trying to come up with an inexpensive dish that I can share and I think I'm going with Tabouleh. Her housewarming gift will be seeds for her community plot - they are half gone each (we used them) but I think they are a great gift and I hold it in my heart that she will appreciate them.

Does anyone have older kids - maybe past the age of 8? I remember when my boys were young and they never wanted for material things....now...well...even with homeschooling...my 11year old begs for things. Most days I'm very secure in my position that he has love, toys, extras, experiences and that is enough and other days....well....I start to feel a little like I would love to be able to just get more of his favorite foods...or sign him up for more classes he would love (my 7 year old too) or be able to buy up the rest of his baseball fundraising tickets so he wouldn't be embarrassed to turn them in without his quota reached: (we wrote the rec dept a letter all about our issues with their quota and the price of the tics - $5 each!! and they make it very competative since if you sell 100 tics (!!) you get "free Red Sox tix": : )

Anyhoo, it felt good to just say it and I know others deal with this and like I said most days I know we have enough....and we love each other and that is very rare in this world.

Kisses to all,

Kimcarrots

Mother to DS (11) and DS (7) and baby in the belly November 2006.
post #53 of 134

Sick and tired of being so bleepin' broke!!!!

Just a rant here. I don't think I'm looking for suggestions on how to be less broke.

dh's job doesn't pay well at all. He has a base salary and then he gets a "commission" check once a month. But it's not based on his sales, it's based on the company's sales. Well we live in the desert and his company sells fireplaces and wood stoves...Not a good combo when it's 100 outside! So even in the winter, when sales are high and his commission check is more, we barely squeak by. But now...Holy cow. I'm just sooooo stressed out about money. A month ago we overdrew our bank acct. Two weeks ago we made it to payday with a whopping 5 bucks in there, and this week isn't much better. He gets paid in two days and I'm wondering how I'll manage to stretch the eggs, milk and potatoes till Friday when his check actually clears and I can shop. I'm wondering which bill I'll have to blow off this month in order to finance our horribly addicting habit of EATING. I'm trying to convince dh that we need to drop everything that is an "extra" Cable and internet(I guess that's it) Lord, I don't want to give up internet, but I don't see an option. I'm sick, so very very sick, of not being able to go grab a cup of coffee...or for that matter just buy a lb of really good coffee instead of having to purchase giant vats of cheapo stuff. Dh has a tooth issue and his insurance doesn't cover dental. We can't afford to send him. I'm having serious back pain, but we can't afford a chiropractor. I wish I could look at my gas tank and not have to ration and worry. "Sorry Ds. We can't go to the museum today because this gas has to last us 6 more days." I'm SICK SICK SICK of being so damn poor! And the salt in the wound is that dh makes just a few dollars too much for us to qualify for any type of assistance.

Could I get a job? Sure, but it would be doubtful that I could make enough after child care, gas, clothes and lunches to justify working. Could I watch kids in my home? sure I could. But my house is stupid small, we have 3 cats, and there are no parks in walking distance to us. I'm homeschooling him and that would be tough if I were watching kids. Being stuck in the house with a bunch of kids I don't know, watching ds get frustrated by them taking his stuff all for a little extra money doesn't seem like a valid option.

I guess right now I'm just feeling hopeless. I'm tired, lonely, crabby and my back hurts. My husband is in a play, so he's gone every day from 7:30-5:15...Then he comes home and shoves some dinner down his throat and is gone again till about 10 or later. When he gets home he's jazzed up but I'm so tired that I can't even stay up to talk to him. And when I try, like last night, he doesn't ask me how MY day was. He just vents and complains about his life. And I have to sit there and be supportive when what I want is to say "I had a really rotten day today, and I want you to listen." I tried that last night, and guess what. As soon as I started, he STARTED TO FALL ASLEEP ON THE COUCH!

Arrrrgh. That's all. Just, just Arrrrrgh.

Okay, now that that's out maybe I can have a better day than yesterday. Thanks for letting me vent.
post #54 of 134
This is a really good thread. Esp cuz IRL, I am teh ONLY stay at home mom I know. So, when I do worry aloud to someone or vent about something they make comments about my getting a job. As if that would solve it all. But they cannot relate to my priorities. My 13 month odl is still very much attached to me and breastfeeds. I homeschool my other two. This is my job. I am getting a home daycare off teh ground now out of pure neccesity so that Dh can seek better employment and a degree but it leaves me resentful cuz it simply takes aay time from my own children.
I have learned alot over the years. people say how much it costs to have a baby but due to having to cut corners I have learned how many things are truly NOt neccesity. Heck, a few years ago I was doing laundry by hand in our tub and drying it on a line outside. We have come a ong way! But as far as costs of a baby, I do not worry. UC is free barring no complications, breastfeeding is free, we already have a stash of cloth diapers and plenty of baby clothes and we co sleep. Our last two kids were almost free till they got bigger and needed a few thinsg liek toys and clothes. I learn not to stress about things.
My new thing though is how resentful I find myself sorrounded by working moms cuz they use the reason of working all day to ask me to babysit at night so they can go out and have fun. What is it I do???? I need a break too! I am jealous of thier freedom but thenagain, I woudl never want it. I feel lost of I am out for more that a couple hours! My nieghbor pointed out taht we took teh boys to see a movie yesterday and I wanted to scream at her how we earned that and what a rarity taht luxury is! Due to other people and thier opinions I DO find myself feeling guilty. After all, I am perfectly capable of getting a job. But I have to weigh the benfits of staying home with teh cons and hope it equals out in teh end. To have that peace that what I am doing really is what is best for our family....
post #55 of 134
how does everyone afford telephone / internet if you can't buy food? im not being negative, im serious as we're always looking to cut corners (no home phone service, no cable, etc). we're living with serious chronic illness and im finding my FEAR of going broke is what's holding us down right now. we're fine at the moment but the world could crash at any time (last year my husband was hospitalized a month and out of work for 3). but if it comes right down to it, I know I will have to cancel internet before I let my kids be hungry.
post #56 of 134
Definitely subbing to this one!

I've been a SAHM for 5 years. I have worked part-time very occasionally and I'm trudging my way through college. I'm so tired of people assuming I'm middle class and telling me how lucky I am. >:/ My husband makes 25K a year, we are NOT middle class! Not even close!
post #57 of 134
have you tryed seeing if your elibigble for food stamps? Even when its only a little bit, it helps you strech the food that little bit further.

We were eligible for foodstamps once my ds was born, and they help us out tremendously.

Quote:
how does everyone afford telephone / internet if you can't buy food? im not being negative, im serious as we're always looking to cut corners (no home phone service, no cable, etc). we're living with serious chronic illness and im finding my FEAR of going broke is what's holding us down right now. we're fine at the moment but the world could crash at any time (last year my husband was hospitalized a month and out of work for 3). but if it comes right down to it, I know I will have to cancel internet before I let my kids be hungry.
For some of us the internet isnt a choice, we need it for certain reasons. For me, my husband MUST have it for his schooling, hes currently back in college to get his MBA, and Its also the only way I can communicate cheaply with my family in new zealand.
post #58 of 134
Quote:
Originally Posted by BabyBumblebee
On the Freecycling note though, I have offered a queen bed, and NO-ONE wants it! Can you believe it? We don't have any room to store it, and thought that maybe someone else could use it: it's older, but from Ikea, and a really classic style. But no, no takers - not even for a cottage or something. Ah well...will have to find something to do with it : Anyone in Ontario need a bed?
I wish I was in ontario !! I wish things like that got freecycled in my area....We only get old clothes for women who never eat, and other things we can't use.
post #59 of 134
Oy. Sign me up.
One of our biggest problems is also DP's spending habits. We don't make much money to begin with, but he's made some utterly terrible decisions in the past, and we're really paying for it now. He really seems to have very little concept of what it takes to save any money at all. It's hard to rant about this without sounding ungrateful, but he bought me a freaking laptop for mother's day... not that we had the money for it, mind you, but somehow he was approved for a credit card and he put it all on that. Without talking to me about it at all!!! :

Our car is broken and somehow still trudging along, but it's not going to last much longer. We have absolutely no money to fix any of it. We are actually in the hole right now-- we just had a nice overdraft charge yesterday because DP didn't pay attention to the bills that were going to be taken out of the account (there was something we could have done about it, had he kept track of it as he said he would). I see I have to do it myself, something that HE did not want me to do. Probably because then I'll see even more what he's wasting.

I DO have two very-PT jobs, and I just had to give him what little money I had saved up from those jobs over a long period of time (it takes me forever to save that kind of money, even though it's not very much). Just so he could get enough gas to get to and from work before he gets paid. And undoubtedly he'll buy lunch with it as well since he refuses to pack a lunch.

While we don't make a whole lot of money, there is no reason why we should be hurting THIS bad. I'm so tired of it, but I can't control the man. He has to truly want to stop wasting so much money and save it. It's just not happening, and I don't know what to do.

Oh, and right now, neither DD or I have any insurance. We don't do well-baby checks anyhow, but what if she truly needs to go in? How am I supposed to get a yearly exam? I tried applying for medical assistance again (we were on it before) but even though DP and I aren't actually married, they claim they now need his work information to make a desicision, and I'm pretty sure that he might make a little too much. I'm going to look more into it though, I might be wrong. I just didn't want to have to call DSHS again, because last time I talked to a guy there to find out this information, he treated me like the scum of the earth. He couldn't have been more condescending. They never asked for his information before, so I don't understand why they need it now.

Wow, rant... sorry. It's just so tiring being in this situation. I'm sure I don't have to tell you mamas that.
post #60 of 134
Quote:
Originally Posted by melv
how does everyone afford telephone / internet if you can't buy food? im not being negative, im serious as we're always looking to cut corners (no home phone service, no cable, etc). we're living with serious chronic illness and im finding my FEAR of going broke is what's holding us down right now. we're fine at the moment but the world could crash at any time (last year my husband was hospitalized a month and out of work for 3). but if it comes right down to it, I know I will have to cancel internet before I let my kids be hungry.
I seriously doubt that anyone here would "Let" their kids go hungry for the sake of having internet or a telephone. We are broker than broke, don't qualify for assistance, and have to watch every penny as far as shopping goes...However, my kid is far from going hungry. In fact, he's eating lunch right now (left over crock pot beans and home made tortilla).

I can't speak for any other mamas here, but we have internet and cable (though as I stated, I'm trying to get dh to let me disconnect them) because 1) we weren't hurting like this 6 months ago, 2) I see these things as valuable resources as a homeschooling mom. And 3) These are the ONLY luxary we have. We rarely drink, don't smoke, don't go on "dates", don't have a sitter, NEVER go on vacations (the last trip we made out of town was 2 months ago. We were gone a week. For a funeral. We stayed with dh's brother and ate in.), don't eat out, and I can't even remember the last time I bought clothes for myself. My "good jeans" are the ones covered in yellow paint. Everything else has holes in them. By everything else I mean my other 3 pairs of jeans that I bought when ds(4yrs) was a year old and don't even fit.

Maybe I'm being sensitive and feeling picked on even if I'm not, but I rather resent the implication that I care more about the internet than I do feeding my family.
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