Originally Posted by Mama8
My issue is with the pleading and the obviouse lack of power the wife would have in that situation. In a marriage where one stays home to raise the children so the other can work to bring in dollars. Then it is both of their incomes and it is not completely his decision to "refuse" the wife. That aside, it is the obvious humiliation that is going on that I have issue with. I have stepped in between a man and his girlfriend/wife because there are times when the power balance shifts so much that it becomes abuse.
This is off topic, but personally, in my own opinion, I would regard a spouse situation, or really any dispute between adults, as a private matter that is none of my business. I do understand your point about his income being both of their incomes so they should both have a say, and that is how it works in our family, but I wouldn't say that a couple who have a different arrangement are wrong.
I honestly don't think it's comparable to a child abuse situation at all. To me the difference is legal rights. An adult always has the right to leave, to make other arrangements, and to have recourse if her rights are being violated. Even between spouses, there is always the option of separation or divorce. Now, plenty of people don't believe in divorce--I don't. I would certainly never divorce my dh for refusing to buy me new clothes. But I have the legal right to do so. A child has *no* legal rights with regards to his parents, not even the most basic right to be free from physical violence. A child can't leave or divorce his parents if they mistreat him. So to me that is the fundamental difference.
Originally Posted by aira
I just don't see why it matters whether the parents humiliated her on-purpose or not.
The outcome is the same. The little girl is humiliated - and told them so repeatedly. At a minimum they just didn't care.
Well, it doesn't matter as far as outcome. They were certainly wrong in their treatment of the girl. Even if, for whatever reason, they regarded it as absolutely non-negotiable that they get that particular swimsuit, they could have been a lot nicer about it. I just don't think it's fair to assume all these other things about their parenting (the swimsuit was punishment, they regularly humiliate her on purpose, they probably beat her, etc.).
And maybe they did care. Maybe she'd been whining all day (or all week, or all month) about how she wanted some particular swimsuit, and they'd gently, reasonably explaned over and over again why she couldn't have that one, and by that time they were just worn out.
I'm sure that some people have probably seen me in the store and thought I was demon-mommy for firmly saying, "no, we are not buying that" to a whining, crying child. What they wouldn't have known was that we were in about the 40th round of discussion about that. But still, I was wrong. And those parents that Nextcommercial saw were wrong. But I don't think it's *necessarily* part of a larger pattern of abuse and humiliation.