Originally Posted by morning glory
The point I was trying to make in my earlier post is that a lot of posters are assuming that this situation is just like what they went through as children when they were forced to always wear ugly clothes...my point is that it could just as easily be similar to my situation where there was no humiliation intended but my parents sometimes made questionable fashoin choices on my behalf (come to think of it I probably made just as many "questionable" decisions of my own
In any case we have no proof that her parents consistenly force her into ugly clothes as punishment for being fat (what were her street clothes like? Since the OP didn't say I just assumed she was dressed "normal" for a kid her age) or that she would have been yelled at in the car or spanked later for complaining. She could have been but she could just as easily not have been. I wouldn't like for people to base the opinion of my whole parenting style based on a 10 minute snap shot. And really, maybe the parents DID like the swimsuit. My mom really did like the purple cords. And the pink and purple plaid shirt that went with them. She thought they were spiffy and would probably still think so today.
It would be nice if every parent just let their kid make their own fashion choices but the reality of it is not every parent will do that. Drives my husband batty that our 3 year old really likes to wear his dinosaur rubber boots without socks everywhere...but we let him...lots of parents wouldn't but thats hardly abuse. And is it always practical to let a kid make their own decisions? If it had been an 8 year old in a women's string bikini and the parents were saying no...you can't make that choice for yourself what would the issue be then?
Ok, not in this situation, just want to preface this that my post is out of the spectrum of this thread.
I get what you are saying here and I do agree. However, what took place was fairly normal and there was no harm no foul. The OP didn't push her views, just offered another place to shop.
as for the string bikini. It is far different to push a child to grow up than to allow them to explore growing up on their own. I wouldn't allow my child (for arguments sake) to wear a string bikini.
However, if they wanted to push the boundaries at 12 and ask for a revealing 2 piece, then that would be something we would talk about. I wouldn't veto her idea's on the outset, I would have a discussion telling her my opinions on the string bikini.
If she demanded it, I may wind up getting it for her just for my own amusement. I know the first time she puts it on and goes outside she would feel way out of place, being only 12 years old.
I think children should be 'allowed' to make their own mistakes within reason, and I also know that a 12 year old can and will earn their own money if they want something bad enough, I can't stop them (technically) So putting fake boundaries up would be uselss to me.
I went on a tangent, it was based around 'not allowing her to wear a thong'. The thing is, not allowing her to wear something, is far different to me than forcing her to wear something. If I said 'No, no string bikini's' and she came back with a 2 piece that covered her bum, I, in my head, would see that as a decent compromise. She still has the options to get something she wants, just not that.