If one more person says "socialazation" to me - Page 3

[joandsarah77]

I am nervous and feel very overwhelmed with the idea of trying to entertain my child all day or try to find enriching activities without her getting bored...???

I really, really wouldn't try to entertain my child all day. I think people do a great diservices to their kids when they do this. It's great to play with your kids, but not all day. It's also great to do crafts and other activities, but again, not all day. Firstly it creates a dependence on others for entertainment. Which means your child is learning how not to play by themselves, how not to use there imaginations, and keeps you wraped up in them with no time to do anything. Secondly being bored actualy stimulates creativity. It's good to be bored now and then. It's far better to include your child in what you are doing. So have her sort the whites from the colours, rinse and stack some dishes, dust over with a cloth etc. A childs play is their work. watching ants and digging in the dirt with a stick is probably far more educational then glueing those shapes on paper.

[sapphire_chan]

wait, so little bitty babies are supposed to learn to "soothe themselves to sleep" but we're not supposed to let older children learn to entertain themselves? Man, how am I going to become a mainstream mother if they keep changing the rules around?

[kolleen9]

When the socialization word comes up, I generally tell people that I beat up my son and take his lunch money twice a week... that usually makes them smile and stay quiet.

[Jennifer3141]

Originally Posted by kolleen9

When the socialization word comes up, I generally tell people that I beat up my son and take his lunch money twice a week... that usually makes them smile and stay quiet.

Yeah, that would probably do it!!!

[hipumpkins]

[runes]

wait, so little bitty babies are supposed to learn to "soothe themselves to sleep" but we're not supposed to let older children learn to entertain themselves? Man, how am I going to become a mainstream mother if they keep changing the rules around?

[achooreno]

I beat up my son and take his lunch money twice a week...

that is SOOOO AWESOME......I will be using this one with especially annoying and/or ridiculous inquiries!!!!

[UrbanPlanter]

huh that is a good comeback!

what does "socialization" mean in this context, anyway?
I mean, what do people mean when they say it?
It's like they have a kneejerk reaction to the word "homeschool" like all we'd do is stay at home, just me and ds, all day long, doing workbooks.

I tell them that if we homeschooled, we are very fortunate to be in a huge community of homeschoolers here in NYC, and the city would be our classroom. It would be great fun to spend our days in museums and similar venues, as well as have group activities with other homeschoolers - I also tell them that I would not be responsible for all of the coursework; that different people could possibly "teach" different subjects, and we would have "classes" in different spaces... the more I describe how it might be, the more the other person becomes interested and envious of the concept.

[hxcmama]

I always worry about responding to this (although I am asked this by pretty much EVERY single person after way say we are unschooling - : ) because I feel it is SO ridiculous I can't even justify it with a response. I feel as though by talking "socialization" with them I am letting them frame the conversation. There is pretty much no way to convince people how ridiculous this is unless they took a weekend and went to a unschooling conference like I just did and saw how incredibly different, and highly socially skilled the children are. And they will never do that. Besides, I think people say it out of fear and a need to "one up" me. It is such a reversal.

I now say, "asking a homeschooler, 'but how will they get socialization?' is the same as asking someone who lives in a fresh water spring, 'but won't you get thirsty?" When I am really grumpy I say, "my child doesn't need to learn cruelty, thanks".

Michelle

[Ayala Eilon]

There and article in Life Learning magazine called, "Was Beethoven Social" about this issue. You can order a back issue and read it and you will never again worry about it, and, you will have an article to hand to people who bug you about it. You will love it. It is briliant and debunks the whole social dogma.

[rmzbm]

Why is it so hard for people to grasp that there is life outside of school??

[oceanbaby]

what does "socialization" mean in this context, anyway?
I mean, what do people mean when they say it?
It's like they have a kneejerk reaction to the word "homeschool" like all we'd do is stay at home, just me and ds, all day long, doing workbooks.

Yes, I've found that the best approach is to say "what do you mean by socialization?" I say it in a genuinely curious tone, and half the time the person doesn't even know what it is they mean. Some will say something about learning to get along with other kids (as we're watching my ds play with other kids on the playground), to which I tell them all the different opportunities he has to play with other kids. Depending on who I am talking with, I may also point out that ds got along with other kids much better BEFORE he went to preschool.

I have actually had other people tell me before that ds had to learn that I wasn't always going to be there for him. Huh? I didn't know being a mother ended at age 5. And how many times do you hear that the single biggest factor that determines how well a school does is the amount of parents who are involved.

Most of the time when I ask them what they mean they realize what a stupid question it is.

[WuWei]

How socialized is it in school with same aged (within 10-14 months difference) children compared to all people in the Real World?

Pat