Foreskin question

[bass chick]

My son went for his routine 2 year well-baby check up today at the doctors. She pulled his foreskin back so hard that DS screamed and then cried! I was angry. I didn't know she was going to do this and neither did DS. She did apologize for not telling DS and for being "sneaky" as she put it. She said that his foreskin was too tight and to come back in 2 months for her to check it again. Since I don't have a foreskin of my own, and neither does DH, we don't know too much about it. Is this normal for a physician to have to loosen the foreskin by pulling it back so far that it hurts? In the evening, I asked DH to take a look at it, and from the protests I heard from DS, it sounds like it was still tender.

[milk_maker]

What a idiot (the doctor). Your son's foreskin still hasn't retracted on its own. Basically, she just ripped a fingernail off his finger (that's what it's supposed to feel like). Go over to the circ board and look in the archives. There should be some answers as to what you can do. I think you'd just leave it alone, but I'm not 100%.

I most certainly would contact your doctor and give her tons of information on the intact penis and ream her out. You have to be uber vigilant around doctors and intact penises. My son's former ped tried to forcibly retract his foreskin at his first WBC and I literally smacked her hands when she didn't stop when I told her to. Stupid

[ChristaN]

Oh, your poor little guy! I am so sorry and NO, she absolutely should not have done that. She was completely ignoring the AAP guidelines on care of the intact penis and should be reported. There is an atty who posts on the case against circumcision forum here who will send a letter to the pediatrician advising her on the legally tenuous state she is putting herself in by choosing to ignore professional guidelines.

I linked the AAP statement above, but just a short quote from it:

Most boys will be able to retract their foreskins by the time they are 5 years old, yet others will not be able to until the teenage years. As a boy becomes more aware of his body, he will most likely discover how to retract his own foreskin. But foreskin retraction should never be forced. Until separation occurs, do not try to pull the foreskin back — especially an infant's. Forcing the foreskin to retract before it is ready may severely harm the penis and cause pain, bleeding and tears in the skin.

Please do go post on The Case Against Circumcision forum here. The members there will help you determine what your son needs and, again, I am so sorry that his ped did that to him.

[bass chick]

Thankyou! I did go to the case against circumcision forum and I read what was said there. I'm so upset now. I will take the AAP guidelines with me the next time we go to the doctors. We don't live in America, but maybe it will help her respect our demands for her not to retract his penis again. It's not like I can just go find another doctor since we have a severe shortage here, and she is the best doctor we have ever had. I'm surprised that she doesn't know how to care for the intact penis....pretty much no one is circumcised here anymore....it is actually frowned upon here.

[sadkitty]

PS.... Unless you're from somplace else (where they pactice FGM), you DO have a foreskin! All women and men are born with them!

[eden/averymum]

what an idiot! sorry you both had to go through that.

she's probably never seen a foreskin before!

[Christine&men]

That's why I hover over my son with each visit. And what is it about rudely squishing their testicles every time they come in? I know, wether they are descended or not... Believe me, they are, they also ascend! I can see that when I change the diaper and the room or the wipe is too cold!!! Heh, heh, heh.

[LoveChild421]

yep she definately needs to be reminded of the AAP policy- "Leave it alone!" Our ped. did the same thing to ds- luckily he is one of the few babies whose foreskin is already almost retractable so it didn't hurt him but I hate to think how much pain it would have caused if he wasn't. Now I start saying "Do not retract!!!" and hovering over him as soon as his diaper is off.

And she's full of it- I bet she'll recommend circing at the next appt. b/c the "foreskin is too tight" pure bs- if he can pee fine, it's fine.

[ChristaN]

The AAP is not the only medical organization that tells parents and medical providers not to retract. I'm sure that you can find a statement from your national medical/pediatric society with similar information.

Here are a few articles with info from other English speaking countries:
from Australia, from Canada : "The foreskin covers the shaft and head (glans) of a boy’s penis. During the early years of a boy’s life, the foreskin separates from the glans. This is a natural process that occurs over time. You do not need to do anything to make it happen," from New Zealand: "The foreskin requires no special care during infancy. It should be left alone10. Attempts to forcibly retract it are painful, often injure the foreskin, and can lead to scarring and phimosis," from England: "The process of separation is spontaneous and does not require manipulation."

I don't know if any of these are from your country, but it is pretty clear that there is a consensus among medical societies world wide that you just leave it alone. Good luck in your discussion with your medical provider.

[USAmma]

Moved to the Circ forum.

[SJane01]

Our son's foreskin did not even detatch itself until he was 10! Doctor needs to have a letter writen to them, and the state medical associations, and the news papers. File complaints and seek a lawyer if you want.

[ChristaN]

While my initial response was to report the dr, too, if, as the OP says, she has few, if any, other options in the way of drs, it might be worth first approaching her in a less confrontational manner and assuming that the dr is honestly misinformed and didn't mean to hurt her son. Of course, if she doesn't acknowledge her mistake, learn from the incident, and apologize profusely, then I'd take a harder stance.

[CallMeMommy]

I'd highly suggest writing a letter to this doctor and copying in the head of the clinic and/or hospital. She needs to know she's wrong so she doesn't do this to some other child or get another child's parents thinking there's something wrong when there isn't. Frank (or anyone), what's the name of that lawyer who will write letters to doctors pro bono?

[MCatLvrMom2A&X]

Since u are not in the USA maybe the country u are in has a statement on it. At any rate there is no reason at all for her to even touch his genitals now and u are within ur rights to not allow her to do so. I would not be going back in 2 months for her to check again each time he is retracted is causing damage and should not be allowed. Here is a link to The Intact Care Agreement http://www.mothersagainstcirc.org/care.htm Print it out and take it to her go over it with her and have a copy put in his chart. Keep extras to so that u will have them on hand.

Since u are so limited in ur choices for health care u can edit it to fit ur needs. Just what ever u do dont let it happen again. The lawyer will prolly write a letter for u but since u are not in the USA I dont know how much influince it will have on the dr. Just have a adult conversation with the dr and tell her that u will not be allowing her to examain ur sons penis again. If she is a good dr she will be willing to learn if she turns all defensive on u then just tell her ur sons penis is fine and to leave it alone.

[bass chick]

Originally Posted by ChristaN

While my initial response was to report the dr, too, if, as the OP says, she has few, if any, other options in the way of drs, it might be worth first approaching her in a less confrontational manner and assuming that the dr is honestly misinformed and didn't mean to hurt her son. Of course, if she doesn't acknowledge her mistake, learn from the incident, and apologize profusely, then I'd take a harder stance.

This is exactly what I am thinking of doing....after I arm myself with some "Canadian" documents to back me up. I may go back in 2 months, but I won't let her "examine" DS....I'll just talk to her. I'm sure she will make up some excuse as to why she did it, but maybe she will do more research herself and stop doing it. I was thinking of just letting it go and telling her the next time we go in for his check-up not to touch him there, but what about all those other toddlers who this happens to? I know she doesn't do this to babies, because she herself told me to leave it alone until he is at least 2 years old. I feel so violated on DS's behalf. He, on the other hand, told me that it doesn't hurt now, so I'm hoping no damage is done.

[MCatLvrMom2A&X]

That is great that u are thinking of all the other little ones out there she might have hurt or may hurt in the future. Thank u for caring enough to say something to her.

[Revamp]

Hoping that your DS will be alright, your plan of action seems admirable and let us know how it goes.