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How to deal with this very uncomfortable situation? UPDATE bottom pg 2 - Page 3

post #41 of 115
s

What a well-written letter! I never could have said those things as well as you did! You've handled this beautifully. I hope your friend accepts what you've said with compassion, just as you've approached her with compassion. Please let us know how it turns out.
post #42 of 115


I don't think a better letter could have been written. In fact, it may have worked out better to have a letter and not a talk.
post #43 of 115
post #44 of 115
Thread Starter 

Nothing happened :(

I got a letter from her today...

saying "nothing happened, your brothers are liars... If I hear of you mentioning my child in there lies I will take you to court"


In witch i replied

M

I never accused you or your child of anything. As a parent and your friend I had hoped that these red flags would concern you and motivate you to talk with A***** about things... I am so sorry you are choosing to name call and to deny these obvious warning signs. I do hope you can come to term with your childs cry for help.. I hope you both get the help you need to be a healthy family.



I have not heard back from her.
post #45 of 115
Quote:
Originally Posted by mama2toomany
I got a letter from her today...

saying "nothing happened, your brothers are liars... If I hear of you mentioning my child in there lies I will take you to court"


In witch i replied

M

I never accused you or your child of anything. As a parent and your friend I had hoped that these red flags would concern you and motivate you to talk with A***** about things... I am so sorry you are choosing to name call and to deny these obvious warning signs. I do hope you can come to term with your childs cry for help.. I hope you both get the help you need to be a healthy family.



I have not heard back from her.
wow.... you handled it very well, IMO. her response... just wow...

love and peace.
post #46 of 115
I can't believe I'm gonna say this, I usually don't trust these people, but it might be time to call CPS
post #47 of 115
youve got tact! i would have flown off the handle! your brothers lucky to have you to look after him!
post #48 of 115
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fyrestorm
I can't believe I'm gonna say this, I usually don't trust these people, but it might be time to call CPS
Yeah . That. I think this needs investigation and you're not someone who can do it. And I think that they need to know the full story from you, first. It sounds like she knows she's covering something up .
post #49 of 115
I have read the entire thread, and I agree with what many others have already said. The "watch me, watch me!" is a HUGE red flag for abuse. Your email was WONDERFUL. Based on her respons (and not mentioning the incedent when you picked your brothers up), it's time to go to CPS. From the little knowlege I have, they MUST investigate things once there has been a "tip" of possible abuse. Since your friend has made it very clear that she doesn't intend to do ANY investigation, someone needs to.

Ok... now purly as the devil's advocate, but is there ANY posibility that your brothers were not telling the whole/exact truth about ANY part of the day? I'm guessing that there is NO doubt in your mind, but I also know that many people have trouble even considering the idea that a loved one may have lied. Please no flames... I stand by my first paragraph, and apologize about this one. Based on your descriptons of your brother(s)'s behavior when your picked them up, and what he/they told you, I believe that the story you got is entirely the truth. Still, I don't know them (or you, or your firend), and I wasn't there, so I felt I had to at least mention it.

Hugs, and lots of good wishes and strength to you, your family, and your friend and her daughter. I hope everything can be worked out, and I REALLY hope that this little girl hasn't been hurt, and that there is some other explination for her behavior (though at this point I really doubt there is ).

~Kelsie
post #50 of 115
Her response just sends up even more red flags to me. I am usually against cps, but in this situation I think you've got no other choice. I would go in or call and fully explain what happend and the mothers response to your letter. Once you've contacted them they will begin to investigate. I wouldn't try to contact the mother of the girl again. It seems to me like she may know what has happened, and in that case she is part of it by trying to cover it up. Keep us updated.

post #51 of 115
Another one here who likes to avoid CPS at all costs. CLEARLY there is something wrong that happened to the family. Best case senario, she saw a movie she shouldn't have and Mom is to embarrased to handle it appropritely. I'd like to think that's what happened and that A***** was not abused, but you simply can't turn a blind eye to the things she did. And I agree with soygurl, make sure your brother's are telling the entire truth. I'm not saying they're lying, but if this girl is being abused and CPS finds out your brothers lied about anything (even something that doesn't matter) it could put a serious dent in the case.
post #52 of 115
Wow
I don't know how to respond to her letter. I truly hope that nothing bad has happened or is happening to that little girl. The fact that the mom won't even acknowledge that something *could* happen is so sad and scary.
About the CPS thing... I don't know. I can see the point but like everyone said, it's a warning sign, not a definite. Maybe nothing's happening and the mom knows it for sure? I'm not saying not to call. I'm just saying that I don't know what I would do. Good luck. I'm sure you'll make the right choice.
post #53 of 115
Just wanted to say to mama2toomany's brothers! I hope you have a : day today.


Anyone else like to say a hi to mama2toomany's brothers?
post #54 of 115
call CPS.


that is all.
post #55 of 115
I would be VERY careful. She sounds angry and like she is covering something up. What if she tries to implicate your brothers? When the truth comes out, which it eventually will, she (or the perpetrator) might try to place the blame on your brothers. Maybe it would be best to document every single thing right now. Interview your brothers and write down everything they say. Do you have a friend or family member who knows anything about law? Maybe they could advise you? I hate to sound paranoid but this friend mentions your brothers' lying, taking you to court, etc. That is worth worrying about. What a horrible situation. You are a wonderful person trying to help this little girl. I think you also have to protect your family. Disabled people are often blamed in these situations - easy targets I guess.
post #56 of 115
I think once you report something to CPS it is illegal for the person to retaliate. but I am unsure of that.



I would also copy down everything in this thread from the get go. And yes, if you can get legal advice go ahead. I would even talk to CPS 'hypothetically' on 'what happens' if someone 'does report abuse'


make sure for the laws on retaliation and what not.
post #57 of 115
Quote:
Originally Posted by Yoshua
I think once you report something to CPS it is illegal for the person to retaliate. but I am unsure of that.



I would also copy down everything in this thread from the get go. And yes, if you can get legal advice go ahead. I would even talk to CPS 'hypothetically' on 'what happens' if someone 'does report abuse'


make sure for the laws on retaliation and what not.
I am not sure whether or not to call CPS but I just want to make sure the OP also realizes her brothers might be implicated. This coud happen regardless of CPS involvment. My thinking was that when the truth comes out (if this girl was in fact molested) the OPs brothers might be mentioned by the mother of the little girl. These thoughts are all independent of the CPS idea - I have no advice on CPS dealings.
post #58 of 115
true.

but I would think that the mothers email back to the OP saying nothing happened would sort of nullify her accusing one of them. According to her nothing happened. and wouldn't it have made more sense for her to report the OP's brothers if they had done something?


I would 'HOPE' that CPS would dig a bit deeper than a retalitory statement. But you are right.

the OP should look out for her family too.
post #59 of 115
When I read the initial post, my reaction, too, was "molested". It's possible that the mother masturbates in front of the girl, and that's where she got the "watch me" thing. Please speak with a social worker.
post #60 of 115
I would call CPS and make a report. They will interview your brothers. Also, prrint a copy of both e-mails with all the pertinent date, time, email address, etc. information you can. I know everybody is skeptical of CPS because thtey can step on an NFL/AP prernts life and ruin it over beliefs. I have seen CPS do a lot of goood though ttoo. And they are pretty good about investigating abuse. At leastt around here. The mom's reaction is a bit extreme. I'm not entirely sure that this means she knows something or is a part of something. I was molestted when I was young. I believe my mother also was. She is a sweep it under the rug kind of person. She flipped out one day when my niece and nephew(who are brother and sister) were showing each others their butts in the backyard pool one day. She screamed and yelled and made them get dressed and spend time away from each other and then yelled some more. I think it just opened an old wound. There was nothing going on. Sometimes people who have been wounded don't know how else to react. I would definitely contact CPS. The story could change drarmatically and you want to be sure your brothers are on record while it's still fresh. As time goes on details will fade and the mom could say she didn't know something happened and then her daughter gave her a different story later that involved your brothers. Good luck to you and your brothers. Be sure to tell them both that they did the right thing to tell you. And be sure they know that if they ever want to contact you and are told no to make a big fuss until they are aloowed to contact you.
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