"I want mama to hit me"

[momtoTnT]

This is what my 2yo ds said to me the other day. I thought I misheard him. I actually asked him to repeat himself several times.

Then he said "I little. Hit me."

He's never been hit - maybe by other children but never by adults. I can't actually recall a time when another child has hit him though...so...

He HAS hit his sister, kids at daycare, and his younger cousin and us. We've always responded with "We don't hit. Hitting hurts. Hug instead" or something similar.

The day this happened, he had been hitting dd in the head - I picked her up - removed her from the situation and explained that we don't hit. A while later is when he came up to me and told me that he wanted me to hit him because he's little too.

I just don't know what to make of it. Part of me thinks he was role-playing - if I *were* to hit him, then he could tell *me* no hitting...he has recently taken to telling his baby sister "no" when she is doing something she isn't supposed to be doing (ie: chewing on the fireplace). There is a new baby at daycare too - so I know that there has been a lot of talk about "little babies" - and a lot of attention to little babies....

Any thoughts?

Oh - and of course - when he asked me to hit him, I told him that mama would never hit him, that hitting hurts etc....

[irinam]

May be it was his way of showing remorse after hitting his sister?

Or may be he was honestly wondering how it feels (as in "I hear Mommy says hitting hurts, but what does she really mean?") <-- NOT that I am advocating demonstrating it to him!

[Synchro246]

Wow. That's weird. What's his daycare like? Do you trust that they don't hit as punishment there?

[chubbycheeks]

Just chiming in to say that my DS has started to do the same thing! And I have no idea where is comes from. . I am a SAHM so we have no daycare. He has hit his younger brother, though, so I am wondering if maybe it is the rolling playing thing? I hadn't thought of that. . . I am at a loss as to where is is coming from as well .

[thismama]

Could it be something he has picked up from TV?

[Piglet68]

Sometimes I think we take our children too literally. Their ability to translate feelings into words is not well-developed until they are much older. I don't think there is any way you can really know what he meant, and I don't think you should spend too much time worrying about it. Unless he starts saying this alot, in which case he is clearly trying to communicate something.

[SAHdad]

Originally Posted by Treyson'sMommy

This is what my 2yo ds said to me the other day. I thought I misheard him. I actually asked him to repeat himself several times.

Then he said "I little. Hit me."

He's never been hit - maybe by other children but never by adults. I can't actually recall a time when another child has hit him though...so...

He HAS hit his sister, kids at daycare, and his younger cousin and us. We've always responded with "We don't hit. Hitting hurts. Hug instead" or something similar.

The day this happened, he had been hitting dd in the head - I picked her up - removed her from the situation and explained that we don't hit. A while later is when he came up to me and told me that he wanted me to hit him because he's little too.

I just don't know what to make of it. Part of me thinks he was role-playing - if I *were* to hit him, then he could tell *me* no hitting...he has recently taken to telling his baby sister "no" when she is doing something she isn't supposed to be doing (ie: chewing on the fireplace). There is a new baby at daycare too - so I know that there has been a lot of talk about "little babies" - and a lot of attention to little babies....

Any thoughts?

Oh - and of course - when he asked me to hit him, I told him that mama would never hit him, that hitting hurts etc....

sounds kinda like a jealousy issue, he sees his little sister as small and when he hit her you scooped her up protectively and held her, later he asked to be hit because he's little too maybe what he was really trying to say is that he wanted to be "babied" a bit? dunno though DD hasnt started talking yet so its just a guess.

[oliversmum2000]

do you think he is feeling that when he hits his sister he is showing her attention, do you think maybe you may have been a little preoccupied with other things and spending less time with him than usual and he sees it as a way of getting attention?

[momtoTnT]

Thanks for all of the replies

I definitely do not think they hit at daycare. Her most severe form of discipline is a brief separation from the group (time out) - we've talked about it and she's never given ds a time out - one time she did have him stop his activity and sit for one minute because he was throwing sand at someone else, but that is it.

It could be something he saw on tv, although we try to limit what he sees. But we're not perfect, and kids can interpret things differently that adults to.

I do think it could be a jealousy thing/wanting or needing additional attention. That makes sense to me. He only said it that one time, so I'm not going to worry too much about it. It just baffled me to be honest. I've never heard a child say such a thing.....I'm glad that my ds isn't the only one to do it though!

Another question though...kind of related....when DD hits him (she's only 9 months. I know it's completely appropriate behavior for her) we tell her "no hitting baby. hitting hurts your brother", then to ds "I'm sorry that baby hit you, she doesn't know that hitting hurts yet. we have to teach her" - our intention is that eventually she'll get it BUT also, we want to show him that just because she's little doesn't mean that it's ok for her to hit him, but she doesn't know not to. I don't know if that makes sense or not. However, we don't scoop him up and move away from her - which as I said earlier, is what we have done in some circumstances when he hits her. Should we be responding the same way to both kids?

[faithnj]

Originally Posted by SAHdad

sounds kinda like a jealousy issue, he sees his little sister as small and when he hit her you scooped her up protectively and held her, later he asked to be hit because he's little too maybe what he was really trying to say is that he wanted to be "babied" a bit? dunno though DD hasnt started talking yet so its just a guess.

Wow....good insight. Looking forward to hearing how this turns out.

F.

[annarosa]

yes, I agree that it sounded to me that he wanted you to treat him the same way you did your dd - pick her up and look after her - he feels the way she got this was because he hit her - so asking you to hit him really might mean that he wants you to pick him up and look after him more ...........?