how deep is denial? - Page 2

[Minky]

Well, I convinced my DH without "getting him into the victim mentality."
I realize it probably works, but how many men just shut down along the way and retuse to accept what your saying?

[Revamp]

Originally Posted by Minky

Well, I convinced my DH without "getting him into the victim mentality."
I realize it probably works, but how many men just shut down along the way and retuse to accept what your saying?

Plenty.

Imagining your penis as mutilated is far from pleasant, believe me. For around ten years I believed what I thought was an unsightly scar running along the underside of my genitals was the product of an operation I had to solve my undescended testicles as an infant. I felt mutilated and its prominence made me wince everytime I examined it.

Earlier this year I discovered that all along it had only been my raphe, that mine was just very mildly more prominent than it normally is.

The relief I experienced is impossible to put into words.

Originally Posted by sadean

Unless he is an Indian Muslim or Jew (and yes, there are Indian Jews who live predominately in Kerela), they would not have circ'ed him for religious reasons. Hindus, Buddhists, Sikhs and non-American Christians do not routinely circ. for religious reasons. I am not even sure that Indian Muslims do routine religious circ., though I am guessing they might. His parents would have likely done it for some other reason (hygiene, or some such nonsense), but it is not a routine surgery in India for any reason.

His parents are Zorastrian.

Never heard of that? Me neither, I have no idea whether they Circ as standard or not. Really no clue at all.

Frankly: Are you sure about that whole brain wiring stuff?

Believing that my child (if I ever have one) would be put into vast amounts of pain would be highly off-putting for me and certainly open my mind up a little.

Perhaps I am unusual or something...

[jenP]

My husband is "fine the way he is" but he does not think that his circ is and IMPROVEMENT. He understands fully that something was taken away but at the same time he never knew the difference and he still enjoys sex and his penis. But knowing something WAS taken away, and knowing how painful the procedure is, he would NEVER inflickt it on another. I guess what I mean is, he feels he is okay DESPITE the disfiguring surgery that was performed on him as an unconsenting infant. This seems like a logical, sane response to me. Our friend, OTOH, feels the surgery made him BETTER. Not logical. I am not out to shatter his ego at all. But he has to come around to understand that it was wrong for his parents and the doctor to do it; they did not do him a favor. I guess I could put it to him like I just wrote here - he is fine DESPITE the surgery, not better because of it. Or I could use the Jerry Garcia example - Jerry was the greatest guitar player ever, in spite of having the middle finger of his right hand chopped off at the knuckle as a kid. Having his finger chopped off did not make him a better musician, though!
Off on a tangent, I wonder if the Deadheads started a Jerry-worshipping cult, would they have as a protected right under freedom of religion the right to cut off their kids' right middle fingers? (I think I'll leave my Jerry-worshipping at giving my son the middle name Jerome, thanks!)

Jen

[Revamp]

Originally Posted by jenP

My husband is "fine the way he is" but he does not think that his circ is and IMPROVEMENT. He understands fully that something was taken away but at the same time he never knew the difference and he still enjoys sex and his penis. But knowing something WAS taken away, and knowing how painful the procedure is, he would NEVER inflickt it on another. I guess what I mean is, he feels he is okay DESPITE the disfiguring surgery that was performed on him as an unconsenting infant. This seems like a logical, sane response to me. Our friend, OTOH, feels the surgery made him BETTER. Not logical. I am not out to shatter his ego at all. But he has to come around to understand that it was wrong for his parents and the doctor to do it; they did not do him a favor. I guess I could put it to him like I just wrote here - he is fine DESPITE the surgery, not better because of it. Or I could use the Jerry Garcia example - Jerry was the greatest guitar player ever, in spite of having the middle finger of his right hand chopped off at the knuckle as a kid. Having his finger chopped off did not make him a better musician, though!

I have another friend who takes a similar approach. He is certainly anti-circ and does not like the thought of it happening. He says that given the choice he would have kept things the way that they are but quite simply he was not given any choice in the matter.

But he is perfectly content with his sex life and says the process of restoration does not seem worthwhile because he is totally happy with what he has. He said that if it started to cause him any problems he would certainly consider it and is opposed to it happening to other babies.

Off on a tangent, I wonder if the Deadheads started a Jerry-worshipping cult, would they have as a protected right under freedom of religion the right to cut off their kids' right middle fingers? (I think I'll leave my Jerry-worshipping at giving my son the middle name Jerome, thanks!)

Actually I could imagine it catching on: it would be far more hygenic because there would be no fingernail to clean under and also would be healthier and save any chance of an ingrown fingernail or of the finger's bones getting broken or caught in doors.

Further more it would discourage masturbation as it would prevent the child getting a proper grip.

All it needs is a modern day Kellogg...

[Treece]

And don't forget, without a middle finger you couldn't give someone the bird!!

[Treece]

Originally Posted by Revamp

His parents are Zorastrian.

Never heard of that? Me neither, I have no idea whether they Circ as standard or not. Really no clue at all.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zorastrian

It doesn't say specifically or even alluding to it. So

[Revamp]

Originally Posted by Treece

And don't forget, without a middle finger you couldn't give someone the bird!!

The case for centraldedigitisation grows ever stronger!

Originally Posted by Treece

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zorastrian

It doesn't say specifically or even alluding to it. So

Well he was born in Britain I believe so it was probably some religious cause since we have no RIC...