Ok...So how old is the oldest nursling you know? Or have heard of?? - Page 4

[la mamita]

my neighbor in the US just weaned her DS at 4 years.

[sunflower_mama]

I am married to the oldest nursling I know. My husband weaned when he was 5.

Shelfish, I tried the same talk with my daughter. It was very cute, but did not exactly work for us. For almost six months she proclaimed, "I'll wean the day after tomorrow." I strongly encouraged her weaning when she was 3 1/2, her brother was 13 months old, and I was three months pregnant with her baby sister. surprise! I wanted to continue, but had lost weight and was having alot of trouble getting it back. She still asks.

"Isn't it good you don't have three nursies mommy? Then you would have to nurse three kids at the same time!" ~ dd1's most recent comment on the tandem nursing of her siblings

[mother_sunshine]

Originally Posted by Dar

If we lose credibility by saying things we can't back up, or things that turn out to be false, we hurt the breastfeeding cause.

FWIW, the "4.2yrs worldwide average" statement helped empower me to continue way back when. I later realized the statement wasn't backed-up but who cares?! It helped me immensely. And if it gives one mama strength and empowerment then it must be helping others, so more power to those who spread this misinformation!

I think this is one statement that might actually help the cause (the cause being mamas who need encouragment to trust their children, and to help everyone see nursing past 2 as normal...which are the only causes that matter to me).

Oh yeah, to answer the question of the OP, the oldest IRL is 7 1/2yrs, and 9yrs online.

[kissum]

Oh wow, I just wanted to commend all you lon-time nursers. That is fabulous! I so thought Bella would wean by 2 at the latest. I may be in for a suprise I guess!

[*Jessica*]

My 31 month old is the oldest nursling I know IRL. That just seems so sad.

[nznavo]

Dar, thanks for that. The use of that "statistic" bothers me because it can't logically be right. I think people have these really romantic notions of mamas in other (particularly third world) communities nursing their babies for ages but in my experience this is not true. It's nice that some people get support from this idea but for me it's a credibility issue.

To answer the question: IRL, 4 years.

[Meiri]

I think that using the factbased statistic that the RANGE of biologicaly normal weaning age for humans is 2-7 years is more effective. It can be supported by research.

We keep our credibility that way, rather than losing it when people research the issue for themselves and don't find that "average" number to be accurate or true.

I would think that a range like that would be more empowering too, as it allows for wide variability that is still within normal.

Of course then there's the issue that no human culture does anything from a purely biological basis.

[Feathere]

Originally Posted by Dub-ya

Gee, 10 years old? I would think anything over 3 would be for the mothers benefit more than the childs. My son is 6 and he is a little man!!! I couldnt imagine!

let me just say that my dd is 3 and nursing her is all her doing. It has nothing to do with my wishes. She is very attached and that is normal-it has been her comfort for so long. That she should turn three and suddenly not want it is a very arbitrary concept. I am struggling with nursing her because I have a baby also, but I recognize her need as legitimate. It isn't about me at all. And when she is 6, she will still be a little girl, not a 'little woman' . just my perspective.

[Alana]

Well....the oldest I ever heard of IRL was 13!!! My friend was at a Bible Study....and the question was put out of "what is your saddest memory" There was a woman there who was from somewhere in S. America. When it came to her turn she started sobbing. Her translator was a man...and he was trying to translate what she was saying....all of a sudden he got this "look" on his face of extreme shock, and quietly translated....the woman said
"When I was 13, my mother came home....and told me I could no longer nurse, and had to be a big girl. I never nursed after that and it was very sad for me"

[mama_at_home]

Well....the oldest I ever heard of IRL was 13!!! My friend was at a Bible Study....and the question was put out of "what is your saddest memory" There was a woman there who was from somewhere in S. America. When it came to her turn she started sobbing. Her translator was a man...and he was trying to translate what she was saying....all of a sudden he got this "look" on his face of extreme shock, and quietly translated....the woman said
"When I was 13, my mother came home....and told me I could no longer nurse, and had to be a big girl. I never nursed after that and it was very sad for me"

Aww, that is sweet and sad and shocking all in one!

[plantmama]

I've heard that "4 is the worldwide average age of weaning" stat before and could never believe it. It just doesn't seem true. So thanks for clearing that up, Dar.
I know a few nursing 3 y/os. Ds is getting there at 2.5.
I remember being shocked several years ago when my sil was still nursing her 14 month old . Live and learn, right?
Growing up I remember there was a boy who supposedly still nursed in my sister's art class- he was 7. That's really hard for me to imagine. But I guess our perceptions change as we experience different things. I remember that it was kind of sensational gossip in our homeschool group, so it's no wonder many mothers keep it quiet.
Ds is getting so tall, he doesn't fit on my lap anymore. I can't imagine him nursing much longer...we'll see...
The other day I said that he was getting too big to nurse and he said "NO, mama's big, I'm small."

[Still_Snarky]

My daughter is the oldest nursling I know IRL. She'll be 2.5 in July. I weaned at about this age, as did most of my cousins.

[mother_sunshine]

Let me clarify....
At the time I didn't have internet access, there was no LLL in our area, the library was void of breastfeeding info and our bookstores and library didn't have Mothering or anything on breastfeeding or alternative parenting. I spent dd's first 3 years of life reading mainstream parenting magazines and What to Expect books, so when dd was still needing to nurse at 2 and 3 I was wondering what was wrong with us. That faulty statistic of 4.2yrs popped up somewhere, I think it was just in a letter to the editor somewhere or it might have been from a friend....but I was overjoyed. Even though I was already listening to dd's needs and trusting my instincts by continuing to nurse her, it felt so good to know that nursing that long wasn't heard of. When I finally got internet, I was able to find a few like-minded mamas elsewhere online, and some scant info on "extended breastfeeding" (kellymom was a tiny list at the time). I didn't find MDC until dd was around 6. That was the first time I received total support and was not seen as a freak.

If I had a choice of what information to give out to mothers, whether it be Katherine Dettwyler's range (which is backed-up and studied) or the hearsay statement of 4.2yrs, of course I would choose the correct info. It empowers with legitimacy. But if there is another mama out there who is in the dark like I was then I would only hope that she would hear the misinformative 4.2yrs statement just to get the idea in her head so she doesn't panic and wean like so many other mamas do in our society...... THEN hopefully she would be empowered to seek the correct info out there. Unless you know where to look and what to search for, this info is still not easy to find for the general public unless it is spread through the mainstream somehow...

[Village Mama]

A close family friend was nursed by the family nanny/ wet nurse until he was 11.... that is definitely the longest that I have ever heard of.

[lauriebeth]

how sad is it that of the moms i know who have or are nursing, my dd is the oldest nursling?

dd is 8 MONTHS old. Oldest I know.

Ive been getting comments about weaning already...

[Mom4tot]

Originally Posted by mother_sunshine

I think this is one statement that might actually help the cause (the cause being mamas who need encouragment to trust their children, and to help everyone see nursing past 2 as normal...which are the only causes that matter to me).

Oh yeah, to answer the question of the OP, the oldest IRL is 7 1/2yrs, and 9yrs online.

Michelle, Ellie is 10

I don't always come to these threads because I worry about privacy and worry that moms might see it as a contest. I truly believe that every child is different and nurses to meet emotional and physica needs.

I am nursing my 5 y/o son and very occassionally my 10 y/o. She still insists she will wean when she is 20. I guess she means it.

She isn't getting milk anymore because I believe she has lost the nursing 'latch', but she still likes to nuzzle there and asks "Can I nurse tomorrow?" She is so sweet and sensitive (and creative, etc), I can't believe for a minute that it isn't what nature intended for her.

Michelle has given me so much support and many of the other moms nursing children as well (Meiri and callemama), I read your posts and feel a kinship. All of the support and love have helped me look at my own conditioning and then really look at my dd (and ds) and know they are doing what is right for them.

[Meiri]

Thanks for clarifying your experience and perspective Mother Sunshine.

What got me onto the childlead path was a copy of Mothering a friend from college mailed me. I am so thankful that she did that. I was clueless beyond knowing that I would nurse DS. How long hadn't even entered my mind.

"So I Nursed Him Every 45 Minutes" was in one of my earlier issues once I started subscribing--that or it was in a back issue that I ordered. Either way, I read that around that time and quit worrying.

[SereneBabe]

I agree that using the researched based stat is essential, but that "urban legends" like the 4.2 can help if we haven't found authentic support, yet.

I also agree that I hesitate to get into discussions of how long because I am saddened when people find themselves "competing" about how long they are nursing. Then again, I guess I'd rather have the competition about how long than how short?

Maya will be three in July and definitely doesn't show signs of cutting back nursing (oh, help me, I'm about to ovulate and she decided to stay latched all night long, can you say "it-felt-like-my-nipples-were-being-sandpapered-off????") and she is definitely the oldest child I know nursing in real life. :-(

I'm going to visit a friend this week and have already decided to "warn" her about nursing Maya. I won't not do it or anything, and I believe my friend will be supportive, but, I just realized lately that other people don't see her as a baby anymore so many many people won't "get it" if I nurse her in public. Agggggghhhh! Would they rather have a loud disruptive unhappy child?!?!

--Heather

[mother_sunshine]

Thanks Meiri.

Joan , I'm so sorry that I messed up on Ellie's age! My brain has been : lately. I knew she was 10 but I thought she had already weaned by our last conversation. Congratulations for persevering . I hope you know that I'm always here to listen. I know you have wanted to maintain privacy in the past so I have tried to make a point of not directly mentioning you even though you have always been in my mind when I offered input here. Thanks for speaking out.

I agree that the support over the past few years has been wonderful and I am so grateful to everyone, even the mamas who I have debated with (which I think have only been a few ).

I have to admit that I am completely baffled because I've never really seen this forum as a competition for who can go the longest :. Unless you all think it's me whose been competing? I just hope everyone here knows that I have never intended this as a competition for who can nurse the longest! I'm so sorry if I've ever given that impression. What a fool I would be to do that! I assumed everyone here knew that children will wean in their own time, whether that be older or younger than one another. It's all individual and mothers are not responsible for how long because it is the child's innate need not the mothers, kwim? My reasons for stating dd's age have been to encourage other mamas to trust their children and to let everyone know that nursing til an older age is natural, normal, and not unheard of. The more people hear about us and others like us, the more normal it will hopefully become or at least the more mamas who will be empowered to trust. We have a long way to go, even here at MDC, but if we can influence some mamas here (if only by stating dd's weaning age) then I feel like sharing our experience has been worth it.

Originally Posted by Mom4tot

I read your posts and feel a kinship. All of the support and love have helped me look at my own conditioning and then really look at my dd (and ds) and know they are doing what is right for them.

And the more the merrier!

[bri276]

the oldest I've ever seen IRL was about 2. my sister and I were bf for about 18 months, and my own dd is 11 months, but since I pump exclusively I don't know if she counts. I think she does and I hope I'll be able to continue until she's 2.