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I don't use carseats - Page 11

post #201 of 328
Originally Posted by Joannarachel
Thank God the cops I know pull over, ticket people like you and call children's services
Lol...This is hysterical. I think the op has a point. And I think you just don't get it. Thank God I know what it means to meet my children's needs.
post #202 of 328
post #203 of 328
Originally Posted by soygurl
OT warning: I'm posing this instead of PMing dallaschildren because I thought it might be helpful info for people reading this thread who might be interested in the seat dove posted.

Hey dallaschildren, you might have (probably have) already read the SafeGuard page in more detail by now and already know everything I'm about to say, but just incase you haven't had time or something here goes:
The Safeguard Child Seat is the one that is $430. It is a forward facing only harnessed car seat that is for 22-65 lbs. The seat that dove posted is the SafeGuard Go Booster. It is a combination seat that harnesses from 30-60 lbs and works as backless booster from 40-80 lbs. The Go booster is only $180 and it is the seat that folds up into a handy tavel bag. You are right though that this seat has several posible drawbacks. First, as you already mentioned, a backless booster isn't appopriate for all vehicles/children. Also, while in harness mode, this seat MUST be teathered, and (partialy because of the teather issue) is not FAA approved. Finaly, something that just bothers me about the seat is how they advertize people can/should still use LATCH anchors while the seat is in BOOSTER mode which (as you know) can't be done with ANY other booster seat (that I'm aware of anyway). Now, I don't doubt that they SafeGuard makes have tested this for safety, I don't like how this promotes something that is unsafe with all other booster seats, and is already something that quite a few parents mistakely think is ok to do. I guess the SafeGuard people have every right to do this, but it still bothers me.
Like I said, you probably already figured out all of this, but I wanted to mention it in case you don't yet, and so other people might have a little more info on the SafeGuard seats. If you have any info for me, or want to discus this feel free to PM me if it isn't relevent to this thread.

I apppologize again, to anyone not at all interested in what I posted, for the thread hijacking. It won't happen again

Thank you for your input Kelsie.

post #204 of 328
Child passenger safety for ME, is about advocating for YOU and your CHILD. It's not about judging you. It's about real life crash statistics. Just as some advocate extended breastfeeding, and it's benefits based on evidence, or not vaccinating based on evidence, this issue is about advocating for our kids and their health and well being based on statistical fact. Nothing more, nothing less.

post #205 of 328
post #206 of 328
Originally Posted by la mamita
How can you honestly weigh the risks of crying in a carseat to be more detrimental than possible death by not being in a carseat? Do you really believe that a kid who has CIO'd in a carseat is more damaged than a kid who is dead or permanently paralyzed from a crash while not in a carseat?

ETA: this is in reference to the situation--your kid is crying in the carseat and you can't pull over immediately. do you 1. take the kid out of the carseat to nurse in traffic or 2. wait until you can find a safe place to pull over?
personally for me, when we were travelling the open highway in the night, with a baby who did view her carseat as a torturing device, it was the choice that dh and i made for me to hold her, calm her and nurse her. We believe her crying and her need to be held was more important than letting her cio in her seat for hours on end. And yes we did stop many times. And no i never took or have taken her out of her seat in the city, in traffic, or otherwise.
No..i never leaned over her seat with my boob in her mouth...how could that be any safer...in the remote chance you were in an accident at that very moment the weight on your body would smush your little one anyway!! But if people want to do this and feel better about themselves then go ahead...just try to refrain from judging others that make different choices that aren't always the safest choices.

Yes the better choice is always finding a safe place to pull over. But we all know that. We make choices everday that don't always fit in to what others think our choices should be. Everyone should be able to understand this.
post #207 of 328
I can think of one very good reason to never use a carseat for your baby. If you never take your baby in a moving vehicle, you'll have no need for a carseat. That's the ONLY valid reason I can think of!
post #208 of 328
Originally Posted by CinnamonDeMarco
Not everybody thinks "Babies must be in car seats PERIOD", but I'm sure some do. It is because they didn't consider other people's lifestyles (for lack of a better word) I said "I used to think that way." I don't think that is offensive.

ETA: On the thread about irresponsible parents someone posted about a Dad comming out of a taxi holding a baby in no car seat. That was how he was irresponsible. I thought, "That could have been me comming out of a taxi with no carseat." That is why I started this thread.
In most states it's illegal to even ride in a cab without a carseat for your child and the cab driver won't let you do it. There are vests and harnesses that work as carseats that fit into your diaper bag BTW. So if you are coming to the states you will need to have some sort of carseat or safety vest if you plan to ride in cars or trucks. The only place they aren't needed are on busses.
post #209 of 328
Originally Posted by Storm Bride
Maybe it's because I'm fully aware that I'm putting my kid's lives in someone else's hands every time I leave the house. The closest ds1 ever came to getting killed was when he and I were crossing a street, on the walk light, after checking traffic both ways (all four ways, actually...we also checked the parallel street for people turning), etc. Some guy in a pick-up came whipping up the street parallel to us at about twice the speed limit and whipped into the crosswalk without signalling...he almost ran us both down. So...ds1 spent quite a few miserable hours strapped into a child torture (sorry - I meant safety) device for no reason (as we never had even a minor accident), and was almost killed crossing the street less than a block from his home. I'm well aware that someone could hit me anytime I take the car out. That's one of the reasons I don't drive very much...but I only feel somewhat safer walking. (There were two pedestrians killed about a month apart on a stretch of road only a mile from the last home I lived in.)
That sucks. I'm glad you were both okay.

The issue I have with this whole topic is that it's like the only thing that counts is the possibility of a car accident...ignoring your child's cries doesn't matter (on the cosleep forum, there's all kinds of information about how bad it is for a child's brain to CIO - does anybody really think a baby knows the difference between a carseat and a crib??)...ending up trekking home from the store in the pissing rain (unexpected rain is not uncommon around here) with a toddler doesn't matter...making a small child walk home when something took longer than expected, even when the child is exhausted doesn't matter...all that matters is the possibility that you might be in an accident.

Car seat advocates say that not using a carseat is irresponsible parenting. I could just as easily say that any parent who ever takes their child out of the house for anything that isn't urgent is irresponsible. The only way to make sure your child is safe from being in a car accident is to keep them out of a car...and they can't get run down in a crosswalk if they never leave the house. Why is it okay to put your child in a deathtrap so they can go to the park (because you think the park is good for them), but it's not okay to increase the risk (take them out of a car seat) so that they can eat when they're hungry (because you don't think they should CIO)? Why is it up to you, or the police, or anybody but me, to decide which risks are acceptable, and which ones aren't?

As I've said before on the topic, nobody needs to worry about my kids. I dutifully strap them into their respective torture devices whenever we get in the deathtrap for an errand. I've given them vaccinations, too...except I skipped a couple. Is that an acceptable risk? I wonder how I'd live with myself if ds2 caught something that I didn't vax for, and died of complications...there are a lot of people who'd call me irresponsible for that, too. All I can do is get what information I can, and make the best decision I can make...and hope no well-meaning individuals foist child services on me when they think I'm irresponsible.
Thank you, thank you, thank you for saying this! This is exactly how I feel on this topic, but I have a hard time putting it into words.
post #210 of 328
ITA with whoever you just quoted, mama b.
post #211 of 328
We have our own vehicles and always use car seats.

I also know that the taxi companies around here are required to make sure that all children use carseats ~ if you don't have a seat you can call to request a pickup with one that has a carseat.

Busses here don't have seat belts, so there is no use for a carseat.

I think it's interesting how different each state in the US is when it comes to carseat requirements and enforcement of the law.

post #212 of 328
I wonder if being in a car accident before and even without our children makes some of us more wary about it than others. I've been in a pretty awful car accident (before I had kids) and our seatbelts saved us. So the only choice for me, EVER, is to strap my kids in the car.

On the other hand, I suppose you have to work with what you have and if you don't have a carseat, then you have to deal with that. I'm lost about the reasoning behind the original post. It seemed like a confession and then, "stop judging me about it" and "what can I do" and "just listen to me."

I don't know if the OP is still reading along, but have you decided to try to get two of the travel car-seat contraptions that have been mentioned?
post #213 of 328
post #214 of 328
Originally Posted by Dragonfly
I haven't seen anyone either say or imply any of the above. And I also haven't seen anyone say that they'd just continue to drive, leaving their babies to cry without being attended to in some way until they could get to a safe place to stop. Really, this is just hyperbole.
Not exactly, no. But, I did ask about pulling over and someone replied that they'd obviously drive until it was safe to pull over. I drove from Seattle back to Vancouver in March....there was one stretch where the only way I could have pulled over safely was to take an exit...in an area I didn't know, late at night. It was about an hour and half or so between rest areas. Pulling over to the shoulder isn't acceptable to me, as I don't think that's safe, either. So...what do you do? (Fortunately, my kids slept the whole way.)

As far as I can tell, my son has never been tortured by a carseat. It actually seems to be pretty comfortable for him.
Nice for you. DS1, on those occasions when we used one (I didn't have a car, or drive, so he was only in one rarely), hated it with a passion. DD has only started putting up with hers in the last six months or so - she just turned three. She absolutely hated the thing before that.

IMO, it's all about mitigating risk where you can. We have to cross the street sometimes because spending our entire lives on one block isn't a possibility. We have to leave the house sometimes or we'd starve and probably go insane. Do I have to put my child in a car unsecured? Nope. Do I have to take him out of his seat while the car is still moving? Nope. In my experience, there has always been another reasonable option available.
That's your experience. At least once, there was no other reasonable option available to me. We were on a shuttle (it was a large van/small bus) from Nashville to Knoxville, and the driver was on his timetable, not ours. I couldn't pull over, because I wasn't driving. So...dd had to be be fed, or she'd have gone hungry for two hours. I wonder how many people driving in the other direction saw us and thought, "how irresponsible".

As for the bold part...why is it okay to take the risk of putting our kids in a deathtrap like an automobile, because we need/want food and/or to avoid cabin fever, but increasing the risk slightly for a few minutes because the baby needs food isn't okay?

I'm sure carseats are safer, in general, than not being in a carseat. But, the degree of venom levelled at parents who don't use them ever single time, every single second, blows my mind.

I wonder what my child's risk is of being in an accident on any given trip from our home...compared to, say, my hypothetical fourth child's risk of being harmed by a uterine rupture if I have a VBA3C...nobody here says I'm irresponsible for wanting to do that...
post #215 of 328
Originally Posted by moondiapers
In most states it's illegal to even ride in a cab without a carseat for your child and the cab driver won't let you do it. There are vests and harnesses that work as carseats that fit into your diaper bag BTW. So if you are coming to the states you will need to have some sort of carseat or safety vest if you plan to ride in cars or trucks. The only place they aren't needed are on busses.
In my state it is illegal to have a kid in a taxi (well any vehicle save a bus) without a carseat. HOWEVER, none of the cab drivers get cranky or even ask "hey do you have a carseat upstairs in your apt?" when we need to take one. And the stuff that fits in a diaper bag more often than not are either 1.) too hard to find 2.) too expensive or 3.) wouldnt really be considered, by a non educated cop, a real child car seat.
post #216 of 328
Ambrose- so do the cabbies provide the carseats or do you? or do you mean they don't get cranky if you decide not to use one--because it's less of a pain for them?
post #217 of 328
Originally Posted by la mamita
Ambrose- so do the cabbies provide the carseats or do you? or do you mean they don't get cranky if you decide not to use one--because it's less of a pain for them?
They've never provided car seats for us, and they don't get cranky if we don't have one when they pick us up (like if we were at the grocery store because we took the bus to the store but missed the return bus home). I think it's because it's less of a pain for them overall.

DD hates her carseat because we use it so rarely. So sometimes when I'm just at my wits end I decide to forgo the tantrums and earsplitting headaches and not haul out the car seat to them have to lug with me throught the store/doctors office/mall. I've never had a taxi company complain.

And to other posters who have mentioned car accidents and having that be a determining factor on their views of car seats... I has in a car accident that tore off the whole back end of my car less than a block from my home about a year ago. If my DD had been in the car (which thankfully she wasn't) even if she had been in a carseat she would have died because it hit the side where her seat would have been. That accident resulted in me not having a car and using taxi's. My opinions on car seats have actually LOOSENED since then because I've had to live life from "the other side" by only being able to rely on public transportation and at first, I admit i was willing to wait the extra hour with my toddler at the bus stop, juggling groceries and chasing after her so she didn't run into the road simply because I missed the return bus ride. After too many near "dash into road" incidents, I opted to take the taxi minus the carseat and have since realized that while yes, carseats greatly reduce the risk of injury/death it by no means makes it a zero percent chance (like my car accident, there is no getting around the fact that my daughter would have died).
post #218 of 328
post #219 of 328
It all depends where you live. I know here it is the driver who is responsible and would get a ticket and demerit points on their license.
post #220 of 328
As a rule of thumb, stories about "I'm only alive because I wasn't wearing my seatbelt" are pretty easy to discount. There's a real good chance that his hands were mangled BECAUSE he wasn't wearing a belt and made contact with the windshield. Also, as a first responder, I can tell you that anyone who can extract themselves from a vehicle, can also unclip a seatbelt with their mangled hands. Our abilities under duress are amazing. I can't tell you how many people tell me they don't wear seatbelts cause if they were in an accident and knocked unconcious they wouldn't be able to "get out". Ummm, if you're out cold, it's not gonna matter if you're belted in or not, you're not going anywhere under your own power.
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