May I rant a little please?

[aira]

I am so freakin' sick of Thomas the Freakin' Tank Engine!!!!!!


Whew! OK. Now that that's out... I'd really like to get a little non-coersive perspective on this. DS, as you may know, is in full Thomas obsession. It waned for about a month, and I was thrilled, but it's back worse than ever.

He's mimicing the crap they say all the time, and acting out the nasty way they talk to each other. I honestly can't even imagine why that series gets held up like some gold-standard of moral education for kids.

Now he wants the videos all the time, and the newest thing it to force the various trains in my hands (regardless of what I'm doing - driving, cooking with hot oils... - doesn't matter) and tell me that he wants that engine to talk to him. He will not wait for a second and has a meltdown if I suggest that I can't do it immediately. Well, actually he wants everything to talk to him these days - can of spritzer, pinecone, the ocean. It was cute at first - now it's all I can do not to throw the damn trains across the room. (I haven't.) But I've heard some sarcasm leaking through my voice.

It's a weird cycle, in that I think he really needs my undivided attention, but I can't seem to give it to him the more resentful I get about the stupid trains. So all day he's pulling on me and I find myself shutting down and wanting to escape. Here I am at MDC...

I'm also in dire need of starting to pack my house up for the move that's happening in less than 2 weeks! I can't find a second of time to even start, and I'm getting very nervous about accomplishing it. When I do have a moment, I just want a cup of tea. (I'm not getting help with it since the only possible person is my mom, who is also packing to move the same time.) I know DS is not only nervous about the impending move, but that he feels I'm freaking out when he really needs me...

*sigh*

Perhaps it will work out when we move and will have a back yard for him. Yesterday (the only day in weeks that hasn't rained here) we spent the day at the park and beach, and I purposely left the trains at home. He didn't ask about them all day. But by evening he said he wanted to go home b/c he missed them. And I was totally wiped.

I've thought of slowly culling lesser used dvds as his preference rotates away from each one, and then one day they won't be there for him to decide to watch again. But it's not an out of sight, out of mind thing. He really remembers every single thing about the dvds and wants to see this detail or that. I don't think it's fair of me to take away his stuff. I also regularly talk about how I don't really agree with this character's way of handling this, or the unfair treatment of the trains by the authoritarian figure... That I would do X differently, so at least he's hearing that there are options.

I'm just so overwhelmed and I can't stand the sight of it anymore! How would you consensual-living Mamas find your balance again?

[Yoshua]

least it's not Dora.... ours is Dora.... He sings the song and re-enacts the entire show from start to finish from memory when the video is not around.

that is the only reason I havent bought one yet..... because we can say 'we took it back to the movie store' at this point, but with how often we've rented them we coulda bought like 5 of the movies by now.

[Pandora114]

Originally Posted by Yoshua

least it's not Dora.... ours is Dora.... He sings the song and re-enacts the entire show from start to finish from memory when the video is not around.

that is the only reason I havent bought one yet..... because we can say 'we took it back to the movie store' at this point, but with how often we've rented them we coulda bought like 5 of the movies by now.

Same here..

Dora obsession here...

*slams head on desk*

BACKPACK

SAY THIS MOMMY

SAY THIS MOMMY

*smash smash smash*

I feel your pain though...

[aira]

I didn't buy the entire collection of dvds - my mom did, hyper-consumer that she is...

Curses!

The other day it was, "Mommy, I want Henry to ask me if I want to go to the store and buy more trains..."

Then, cheerfully: "Yes, Henry! Let's go! That's a good idea!" <while putting on shoes>

[Yoshua]

Originally Posted by Pandora114

Same here..

Dora obsession here...

*slams head on desk*

BACKPACK

SAY THIS MOMMY

SAY THIS MOMMY

*smash smash smash*

I feel your pain though...

"NO NO NO NO, LIKE THIS! "Swiper no Swiping, Swiper no Swiping, SWIPER! NOOOOOOOOOO SWIPINGGGGGGG!"

if you can read that with the words of a 4 year old in your head, you know exactly what I am talking about

[Yooper]

Find a perky 12 yo. Pay him/her $3/hr to play Thomas while you pack. I am pretty sure that is your only option.

Yooper
(who spent $30 this week for a 10 yo girl could play Nemo for 10 HOURS!)

[aira]

Yes, I do hate Dora too.

Thankfully DS has not found a love for that one. He prefers anything with wheels.

Or spiders.

[aira]

Yooper, I had the best little 10 year old girl close by who just moved away unexpectedly. We all miss her.

I'll try to find someone else. They're very busy these days with too much school and homework, and burdened with rules and chores. Most kids that age don't have the time. Around here, anyway.

I think you're right. Paying for help is the only way to get it.

I'll find someone...

[georgia]

Is Thomas being a naughty engine today, aira?

I hope you can get some train-free time soon

[aira]

Yes. Well Sir Topham-Hatt must teach him a lesson!

So off to lock him in Tidmouth Sheds...

[4evermom]

Originally Posted by aira

Yes. Well Sir Topham-Hatt must teach him a lesson!

So off to lock him in Tidmouth Sheds...

Call him his original name, the Fat Controller.

The books aren't so bad because there aren't horrible voices, but they (videos and books) really aren't appropriate for kids under 6 or 7 with all that "I'll pay you out!" threats. But my ds loves Thomas, too. And I can SO relate to the "Mommy, make him talk." My ds completely dictates to me stories that he wants me to tell him. Why can't he just leave me out of it, he just wants me to repeat after him.

[aira]

The Fat Bastard that needs a good punch in the jaw to knock him off his stupid high-horse, more like it...

I've been stuck in this a little too long!

I don't think it's ever appropriate for any age, with all the dictator-like orders, punishments, "teaching lessons", and whatnot.

Ugh!

And it all started with the wheels... That's what sucked him in!

[IncaMama]

aira. exactly...EXACTLY my life. my 3yo is obsessed with thomas. does the same exact things. EXACTLY. i felt like i was reading my own thoughts. : except that somehow rowan has managed to only repeat the nicer stuff, like when they help each other. but otherwise, yes...exactly. and i'm just sorta sucking it up. he's adding his own spin to things and being creative with it...and it keeps him happy and occupied...so i just roll with it. LOL

[savannah smiles]

For me, it's Care Bears. Hearing the sing-song voice of my 4 yr old asking, "Hey mom, can we play Care Bears?" send a jolt of dread down my spine. She also feeds me lines so that the stories go the "right" way and she's a strict voice coach in that I have to talk a certain way for Bedtime Bear and Bashful Heart bear. *sigh*
No advice, just empathy.

[ShadowMom]

Oh my. My DS discovered Thomas the Tank Engine a few days ago (he was already obsessedwith trains, and DH was looking for train stuff on the 'net and stumbled across their web site).

I was actually considering recording the show sometime so I could get a moment's peace...

I didn't realize the shows were that bad. What kind of stuff do they do? I mean, I have heard generalities, but can someone share some specific stuff?

Geez, it seems like all kids stuff is so appalling these days.

[georgia]

Kristi, no, not Thomas! It's been a few years since I subjected myself to Thomas, thank goodness but if memory serves, it's a lot of "bad" "good" "naughty" prankster trains playing "mean" tricks, one way is the right way, do this or else everyone pays the price, etc. It gets old quickly.

[Bridge's Mom]

Naive

Excuse me for being naive what is a consensual mama? We exposed our toddler to Sesame Street and witnessed him become frenetic, obsessed, and frustrated when the show wasn't on. Then one day we decided to cover the television with a cloth. Yes, this requires more of my hands on attention, yet he is much more joyful playing in the sandbox on the patio, with his play kitchen, or with his cars and trucks. We do as best we can to limit the commercialized exposure and when something becomes an obsession we take it away and offer him nature walks instead. Hope this helps

[Ayala Eilon]

I just got rid of the TV and life is so much better. I read The Plug IN Drug, and an article in Mothering and oh my, TV does so much damage to children. Forget about it. It is gone. I highly recommend getting rid of it. Out goes all the nagging for candy, toys and in comes back creativity, imagination and family together time.

[lawgrrl]

We, too, have dealt with the overwhelming Thomas obsession and an increasing DEMAND to watch the videos. We have curtailed this by doing the following things:

1. Reading more Thomas books, especially the older, original stories which are shorter and simpler than the later written ones. The stories from later have so many characters, which I think can be a bit overstimulating and those characters are sometimes "bad" like Diesel 10 and Pinchy (pretty frightening) and seem to act out more "cross" actions, like "bashing, banging and bumping." I agree that the older, original stories can see a bit weird; probably because they are not written in the manner that most americans speak nowadays, nor are they are as "warm and fuzzy" and many broadly recognized children's literature, but my ds seems to love them.

2. Limiting Thomas video watching to one day per week, friday. This has worked fabulously. Our son does ask frequently "what day is it?" to discern whether it is friday, but when I tell him what day of the week it *IS* today and the things were going to do on this day - and he leaves it at that. Yes, we do discuss how many days it is until friday! Many weeks friday comes and goes and he hasn't requested Thomas, so we just cruise on by til the next week. Of course if he asks on saturday (or maybe even sunday), I have let him "catch up" on the missed one from a day or two before. Otherwise it seems too "tricky" and I would feel mean. What this boils down to is that he has about 15-30 minutes of media/video exposure per WEEK, and that has been working well for us. He doesn't feel that he is deprived of it and we don't feel like we're totally allowing a practice with which we don't agree.

Hope this might help a bit. Good luck with your growing family and your move!

[aira]

Thanks for the ideas, mamas.

Kay, if you can avoid a Thomas obsession, do.

What I hate most is the nasty authority figures. It's unbelievable! Judgemental, controlling, seriously punative, and nasty. Setting up the trains to fail so that they can punish them.

You're a really useful engine!

You're did xyz, and that makes you a naughty engine!

Those engines are locked in their shed to teach them a lesson!

And that's not getting into the way the trains are with each other. PP mentioned that they are often helpful and kind - very true. But they are also racists, selfish, spiteful, and revengeful.

But no sh!t - of course they would be with treatment like that.

The actual model trains in the show are cute, and it looks so peaceful and serene. But the content is so not that. And of course, PBS carries it, so it must be educational!

I wish someone had warned me before my mother bought DS the dvds. I'd've known to chuck them out before he saw the first one...