HELP! My toddler is unbearable to my toddler daycare kids

[dillonandmarasmom]

I am having trouble enjoying myself at home with my kids. My son is so cruel to the other toddlers I watch. He loves the babies, he's okay to his 1 year old sister. I wish I could give him more positive attention...but he is leaving little room for it

He will spend his time pushing, pinching and otherwise being mean to the 2 1/2 year old girls I watch. It is soooo much easier when they are napping and before or after they are here....I know it is important for me to show him how wonderful it is to be kind to them, and for the first part of the day, I focus on that. But, it starts to unravel, I stop being patient and I have begun saying things htat should only be thoughts...I am losing it. I love my son--but I don't like who he is when kids are here!!

HELP!@!! What can I do??? I need the income and know I want to be home with my kids. BUT, am I doing the right hting for him??? Clearly he is stressed.

[Piglet68]

Is there no way you can be home and not have these kids? Can you take in kids of different ages instead? It must be very hard for you, and for your DS.

[Mama2Bug]

That sounds really hard.

Is your ds trying to tell you something? Do you think he might be saying that he can share you with his sister, but that these little girls are just taking too much "mama time" away from him? Maybe he feels like they detract from his "big kid" status in the house? Is he trying to make them go away by being mean to them?

Maybe you could have some sort of special little ritual that you do every day, even with the daycare kids there. Like a special codeword that only the two of you know or something. Or a secret handshake or hug that you only do with him. He might just need to be reminded that he's your special guy.

[dillonandmarasmom]

Thanks to both of you for hte replies. After I wrote my post and the kids were gone for the day, I sat with DS in his room and we talked about stuff. It turns out he really only likes to play with the little boy who comes over because he doesn't say NO when DS asks him to play ...the girls say no to 'cars and trucks' time as well as putting his train tracks together...

I asked him what we could do to make the day fun for everyone. He obviously asked if the girls could stay home

BUT, I offered a solution in the hopes that the girls could still come over and we could all be happy: get more toys the girls are interested in to keep them busy when we aren't doing crafts, so I can spend more time doing the activities my ds lloves with him! He liked the idea...yep, he just wants more time with me and he absolutely was trying to tell me this by pinching, etc...duh(to myself! )

So, this weekend, we are going to the second hand store to hunt down some toys for the girls (they are sooo in to princesses and babies -- which ds actually enjoys, too, but not as much as his cars and trucks )

I can't wait to let him offer them to the girls on Monday!