at what age can they hold their own bottle?

[ABand3]

made ya look!

This question was asked of me today, just after I finished nip my 10 mo dd. A mom who (clearly) doesn't know me well asked me as she bottle fed her 1-2 mo baby (we were at a cookout).

My response: Um, well, umm, geee, umm I really don't know because I didn't use bottles.

Uncomfortable silence.

Me: My 10 mo can hold a two handled sippy cup of water!

Uncomfortable silence.



I just couldn't come up with anything to say that wouldn't sound insulting or judgemental (I guess because that's how I was feeling). Good golly, if you have to /choose to bottle feed, would it kill ya to actually hold the bottle!

What might you have said?

BTW, this is an aquaintance who I'll likely see a lot of over the next year, we have a lot of mutal friends, so I'm trying hard to be diplomatic and not pi$$ anyone off!

[guestmama9924]

Easter Seals still lists that as a developmental goal for 10-12 months too. I know that they are looking for some gross motor skills, but you would think that they could come up with, "can hold a cup, can hold a toy. etc

[trmpetplaya]

wow...

love and peace.

[Rhiannon Feimorgan]

I think you handled it as well as I would have. "I don't know, I don't use bottles" is both honest and nonjudgemental. If it makes her think her feeding method and realise there are other ways of doing things, so be it.

[cutic]

I wouldn't have said it any other way. What else were you supposed to say, be sorry for the fact that you breastfeed so you don't have that knowledge???

[mothragirl]

i think i would make a happy comment about how wonderful it is to snuggle my baby and change the subject.

[Nora'sMama]

Originally Posted by ABand3

made ya look!

This question was asked of me today, just after I finished nip my 10 mo dd. A mom who (clearly) doesn't know me well asked me as she bottle fed her 1-2 mo baby (we were at a cookout).

My response: Um, well, umm, geee, umm I really don't know because I didn't use bottles.

Uncomfortable silence.

Me: My 10 mo can hold a two handled sippy cup of water!

Uncomfortable silence.



I just couldn't come up with anything to say that wouldn't sound insulting or judgemental (I guess because that's how I was feeling). Good golly, if you have to /choose to bottle feed, would it kill ya to actually hold the bottle!

What might you have said?

BTW, this is an aquaintance who I'll likely see a lot of over the next year, we have a lot of mutal friends, so I'm trying hard to be diplomatic and not pi$$ anyone off!

This reminds me of an exchange I had last week with a server at our favorite restaurant...she has a 5-mo DD and we always talk about our babies. So she was telling me that her DD now can hold her bottle and "won't let anyone hold it for her." I just smiled and said, "Wow! DD never took a bottle, but she loves to hold her sippy cup; we started giving it to her at about your DD's age." She raised her eyebrows and looked surprised when I said the part about DD not taking a bottle, but I was just so friendly and smiley that I don't think she felt judged, we were just exchanging stories. That's how I try to handle things like this; I just smile at the other person's story and smile while I say what we did or didn't do. It's all in the tone. I could have said the exact same thing and sounded really judgmental, I'm sure. The same way "oh, you're still breastfeeding" from someone who never BF or weaned at a younger age can either be admiration or derision, depending on their tone.

[Ilaria]

I would have done the same...my kids had the occasionally EBM but not enough to ever really hold it, I guess. I have no idea when that 'milestone' is supposed to happen! If ishe felt bad it's because of her guilt, not anything you said.

[Rikki Jean]

Originally Posted by KeysMama

Easter Seals still lists that as a developmental goal for 10-12 months too. I know that they are looking for some gross motor skills, but you would think that they could come up with, "can hold a cup, can hold a toy. etc

Interesting...I didn't realize that this was a gross motor skill that was a "milestone". Now I know why the worker at WIC kept asking me if ds was drinking out of a cup yet (at 6 mos), and why she insisted on giving me a free one.

[snarfywarning]

Originally Posted by ABand3

made ya look!

This question was asked of me today, just after I finished nip my 10 mo dd. A mom who (clearly) doesn't know me well asked me as she bottle fed her 1-2 mo baby (we were at a cookout).

My response: Um, well, umm, geee, umm I really don't know because I didn't use bottles.

Uncomfortable silence.

Me: My 10 mo can hold a two handled sippy cup of water!

Uncomfortable silence.



I just couldn't come up with anything to say that wouldn't sound insulting or judgemental (I guess because that's how I was feeling). Good golly, if you have to /choose to bottle feed, would it kill ya to actually hold the bottle!

What might you have said?

BTW, this is an aquaintance who I'll likely see a lot of over the next year, we have a lot of mutal friends, so I'm trying hard to be diplomatic and not pi$$ anyone off!

Well....my 3mo old can kinda hold my boob? Does that count? He holds it like a sandwhich. ^^

[Jade2561]

I had a women ask me if my dd held her bottle yet and I said, no, but she holds the boob. I also had someone ask if I had her weaned from the bottle when she was 13 months old...and yet again no, but she still loves to nurse. What else can you say...it's not like I'd lie about it.

[Ruthla]

I thought they shouldn't drink until 21 years old, at which point they should be able to hold the beer bottle without assistance.

[Momtwice]

Holding your own bottle is a milestone that seems to be part of the push-indepence-on-them culture. I once heard scathing remarks about a baby not wanting to hold his own bottle from a mom who was born in the 1930's I believe.

So maybe this mom the OP met was pressured by HER mom or grandma to meet this "independent" milestone.

[trini]

Just to offer a different perspective (every thread needs that, right? ), I thought it was adorable when I heard that ds could hold his own bottle.

Now, let me explain. He drinks exclusively breastmilk and I nurse him anytime I am there, but I am a WOHM and he is home with dh during the day. I pump for him. I don't remember how old he was (4 or 5 months?) when dh told me he could hold his own bottle. Now he also drinks from his sippy cup by himself and grabs my water bottle and acts like he is drinking (but the cap is on).

The disclaimer on this is that just because he CAN hold it, doesn't mean that dh gives it to him and walks away. He holds him and snuggles him close EVERY TIME, just like ds is used to when I nurse him.

So, my initial reaction is maybe this mom just wondered "when will my dd be able to hold an object and use it" and just asked about a bottle because that's what she had. I in no way assumed it meant "when will my dd be able to hold her bottle so I can set her down and go do something else while she eats? Feeding her is such a pain." Parents ask questions like, "When will she crawl?" all the time. That doesn't mean we won't carry them any more just because they can move from place to place on their own.

Anyway, just offering a different perspective.

Although, I really do want to know: When will ds be able to change his own diaper?

[Starflower]

Originally Posted by Ruthla

I thought they shouldn't drink until 21 years old, at which point they should be able to hold the beer bottle without assistance.

:

[Starflower]

Originally Posted by Nora'sMama

This reminds me of an exchange I had last week with a server at our favorite restaurant...she has a 5-mo DD and we always talk about our babies. So she was telling me that her DD now can hold her bottle and "won't let anyone hold it for her." I just smiled and said, "Wow! DD never took a bottle, but she loves to hold her sippy cup; we started giving it to her at about your DD's age." She raised her eyebrows and looked surprised when I said the part about DD not taking a bottle, but I was just so friendly and smiley that I don't think she felt judged, we were just exchanging stories. That's how I try to handle things like this; I just smile at the other person's story and smile while I say what we did or didn't do. It's all in the tone. I could have said the exact same thing and sounded really judgmental, I'm sure. The same way "oh, you're still breastfeeding" from someone who never BF or weaned at a younger age can either be admiration or derision, depending on their tone.

: Seriously though, I agress with Nora'sMama. :

I don't remember when my DD started holding a cup or anything. But lately she wants to hold my boob like a bottle and gets mad if I try to position it myself. (She's almost 3 yrs.)

When she did take EBM she would never hold a bottle - she needed to be snuggled (and very hungry).

[JamesMama]

Originally Posted by Ruthla

I thought they shouldn't drink until 21 years old, at which point they should be able to hold the beer bottle without assistance.

[Joannarachel]

The post title really made me raise my eyebrows!

When I was in school, my child care provider mentioned that Matthew started holding his bottle of breastmilk around 5 or 6 months. She didn't give it to him and walk away, though, she cuddled him close while he held it looking proud of himself

Eden has never had a bottle

[nikisager]

Originally Posted by Rhiannon Feimorgan

I think you handled it as well as I would have. "I don't know, I don't use bottles" is both honest and nonjudgemental. If it makes her think her feeding method and realise there are other ways of doing things, so be it.

I agree

[jeanine123]

Originally Posted by Ruthla

I thought they shouldn't drink until 21 years old, at which point they should be able to hold the beer bottle without assistance.

: