I know this forum is usually for those *trying* to conceive ... but ...

[LadyMarmalade]

What would your advice be for your younger sister, if she rang you and asked what her chances of being pregnant were?

She is a virgin (well, sort of until today). She and her fiancee wanted to wait a while to have sex, but got carried away. He had ejaculated earlier and while they were in the shower (because she has her period) they experimented (I'm trying not to be too graphic here). There was penetration, but they decided not to go any further (after it had been 'in' for a minute or so without any 'movement', according to her). She got her period 3 days ago and has irregular cycles. Her last 4 cycles are as follows:

7th March - period for 4-5 days
17th March - period for 4-5 days
13th April - period for 7 days
New cycle started 3 days ago.

She rang me and asked if she should be worried. I know that logically, statistics are on her side. But if statistics and logic always worked the way they were meant to, I wouldn't have any children

What would you say to her? She's ringing me back in about 15 minutes (I told her I'd get online and try to get some information for her).

Thanks

[Ruthla]

Any time semen gets in or near the vagina, conception is a possibility, though it's more likely to happen when the full ejaculation takes place near the cervix.

It's highly unlikely that she's fertile on day 3 of her cycle, especially since her cycles are usually 4-5 weeks long.

Was there a typo, or did she have her period on March 7th and then again on March 17th? They couldn't have both been "real periods" that close together.

[thismama]

Well I think if she is currently menstruating the chances are pretty low. Sperm can only survive in our bodies for something like 72 hours? Or some around here have reported as long as 5 days. So she'd have to be within five days of ovulation to be pg. If her cycles are 28 days or so (as indicated by teh March 17-April 13 cycle) she is unlikely to be close to ovulation IMO. However if her cycles are shorter (March 7-March 17?? Is that right) she could be ovulating right after her period, but if her cycles are that short I would think she wouldn't have ovulated between them, and even if she did IMO she would not have a long enough luteal phase for the egg to implant.

And if he didn't ejaculate inside her, there are a lot fewer sperm swimming around from just pre-ejaculatory fluid.

My bet would be on No, she is not pregnant.

[Nora'sMama]

If she is having a true menstruation and not vaginal bleeding for some other reason, she is as close to 'safe' as it gets. Buy her a copy of "Taking Charge of Your Fertility" now that she is sexually active...then she won't have to worry like this again!

[LadyMarmalade]

Yes, I need to buy her a copy of TCOYF!

Ruth, she was really confused about the two periods 10 days apart. She had cramps, her 'monthly pimple' and a full flow for both periods.

Thanks for your advice, ladies

[annakiss]

The chances of her being pregnant are extremely slim, if not near impossible. She shouldn't worry.

[MillingNome]

I doubt it. And yes, while there may be a a tinyest of tiny chance, I really don't think she is. And yes, get a copy of TCOYF

[LadyMarmalade]

I just spoke to her again and told her the chances are extremely small, she said she's just going to cross her fingers (and her legs from now on - it's too painful and the stress isn't worth it) and say a few prayers. I suggested talking to a doctor if she's awake all night worrying (4 weeks of stress and lack of sleep would be awful) and she said she wouldn't have a problem taking the morning after pill, but doesn't want the side effects of it. I told her she has to make that decision - peace of mind with a few days of agony with the MAP, or 4 weeks of worry but the probability she's not pregnant. It's up to her - I tried not to sway her either way. I wish we lived closer to each other. Realistically the likelihood of a pregnancy occurring is very low. But the tiniest possibility is going to lurk at the back of her (and my) mind until she gets her next period! I just gave her a 'lecture' about contraception (I was very gentle) and she said she's already had that same lecture from her housemate today. She expressed a very clear wish never to even attempt sex again. I told her she didn't need to be that drastic .

Oh well. Forget about the 2 week wait! I'll start the countdown for the 4 (or 5, if she has a long cycle again) week wait!

Thanks again for your advice

[Ambrose]

Well, while in most cases it's a very LOW possibility...

I got pregnant with DD while ON my period. 2nd day into it and it dissappeared the next day to low and behold a pregnant uterus. I was on the pill too. Go figure! I'd just tell her to go get checked anyways, to be positive.

[LadyMarmalade]

Yikes! We both just started feeling better after I found some statistics ... apparently (according to some website with information about emergency contraception) if 100 women have unprotected sex in their fertile phase, 8 of them will fall pregnant.

I need to do some reading on lunar cycles - I used to know a lot about it, but I've forgotten everything except the basics. I might look up the moon when she was born, to see if it might be a factor.

[Ambrose]

I'm one of those 8 then!! I'm sure she'll be fine, I'm just giving the "one in a million" (I guess really 8 in one hundred?) casepoint.

[Penelope]

If the sex was *very* painful she might want to mention this to her gyno. If after they marry and have sex it's still painful encourage her to be on top of that. (OMG, no pun intended.) Just let her know that once she's ready to have a regular sex life she shouldn't have to be in pain.

ITA that her chances of conception are very low.