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Still trying to convince my ex church not to give a shame based message. - Page 3

post #41 of 69
Originally Posted by MaryJaneLouise
Can you not nurse your child before you drop off & after you pick up? You said the service is only an hour, right? Can you leave a bottle or sippie of water for DC?
I don't think it's that she couldn't find a way to feed dc, it's the concept. Imagine some new mom who's committed to breastfeeding dropping off her baby with a bottle of breastmilk, only to be told that it's a hazardous fluid, and that they can not accept it there. It might be enough for her to quit breastfeeding!
post #42 of 69
The next time, I brought one of the precious few bottles I had left, so I could have an hour alone with God in the service. The caregiver refused the bottle, and offered me 'free safer formula' to refill it. She told me my milk was a hazardous bodily fluid.
What about returning, but this time, when you drop your child off with a bottle of your milk, also provide a note from your pediatrician that this baby is not to be given formula (not sure if your ped willing to do this but worth a try, perhaps?). It's pretty difficult to contest a note from the doctor.
post #43 of 69
Words escape me just now since I am infuriated by their ignorance. I agree w/a pp ... guess Jesus and Mary would not have been welcome there if Mary asked someone else to feed Jesus. ... They are pathetic. I don't understand why they can't just give any child the correctly labeled bottle no matter what is in it. If they can't get that right, they have no business operating any type of child care environment!

I'm on vacation, but if you have a form letter that could be emailed etc, I'd be happy to send it. They need to change their ways... If you can, I'd suggest holding a bfing sitin or whatever you call it and contact the local paper. Yes it does sound a bit in your face, but you have tried to handle this nicely and it seems that the pastor is anything but capable of hearing your issues. Yes, as a pp said, you could nurse before and after the service. But, that is not the point. They are actively disuading mothers from bfing if the 1st time they try attending church and want to use ebm are told it is hazardous fluid!!!!!:

Like I said, this is a pathetic policy that needs to be changed swiftly and if the only way to shed light on their overwhelming ignorant minds is to have the media cover a "nurse in" event, then so be it. What do other bfing moms do that attend that church? Do you know of any moms there that are bfing? Maybe you could collectively get the pastor to listen to your concerns before the nurse in ... but if not, I say go for it.

Sending you lots of crunchy hugs. HITH If you really want to attend this church, then I'm sure you'll be able to effect the necessary changes in a positive way. Just keep your spirits up while you are in the process of effecting the changes!
post #44 of 69
Originally Posted by Sustainer
Well, I wouldn't think of it as the media dictating to the church. I would think of it as using the media to generate *public outcry,* and it would be *people* who would influence the church.
Good point. Just hope that it's lactivists using the media and not the other way around. As you can probably tell, I'm not a big fan of mainstream media.
post #45 of 69
Originally Posted by erinjkelley
As you can probably tell, I'm not a big fan of mainstream media.
Me either, but it can be a useful tool.

I've written a lot of letters to the editor in my time and I'd like to think it's had an effect.
post #46 of 69
Originally Posted by pumpkinsmama
Am I wrong, or aren't there kids allergic to soy formula and others who have to be on soy formula? Wouldn't mixing those bottles up cause a huge reaction? How about lactose intolerant? Wouldn't a bottle of cows milk screw them up?
And this is why their reasoning is flawed. I would think either of those things happening being more dangerous than a child accidentally getting breastmilk.

Sue, I realized that Northridge is a Willow Creek Association church. I attend Willow Creek here in Illinois and my IL's both work there. I asked my MIL how much influence the WCA has over the churches in their association and unfortunately she said not much. However, she did promise to look into this further (she's a big proponent of bf ) and possibly get this topic brought up at the annual Promiseland conference. A lot of the WCA churches look to Willow Creek for guidance and other than the breastmilk rule, their Discovery Island procedures are very similar to WC's Promiseland. I never had an issue with providing bottles of breastmilk for my dd while I attended service and they also offer a nursing room with a video feed of the service. So even though Northridge is making "accommodations" for nursing children, their policy is still exclusive and inherantly flawed in their reasoning as to why breastmilk in a bottle is not allowed.

I will let you know about anything I find out and keep up the good fight.
post #47 of 69
It is very disturbing to me this kind of hysterical misconception re: bm/nursing is still out there! I had not personally run into it. Are we back in the 50's???? The very fact that they feel they have to write bm into their policy is pretty sad, not to mention the whole "hazardous body fluid" ridiculousness.
I encourage you to do whatever you need to do to set these folks right. Good luck!!
post #48 of 69
Do you really want to go back to this church? i'd never step foot in it again.
post #49 of 69
I really hope that this church will eventually come to their senses and fix their flawed policy. But I wouldn't recomment ever going back there, even if they do. The pastor clearly disregarded your statement of your faith being shaken... why would you ever want to return there?

I think it's great that you want to get things fixed for other mamas, but you should find a church where they actually care about you too.
post #50 of 69
I'm up for a nurse-in
post #51 of 69
Wouldn't it actually be more effective if everyone showed up to drop off their kids at the nursery with a BM bottle? ~laughs~
post #52 of 69
Originally Posted by amydidit
Wouldn't it actually be more effective if everyone showed up to drop off their kids at the nursery with a BM bottle? ~laughs~
probably, I'd have to borrow some milk though, I haven't pumped in almost a year.
post #53 of 69
Oh no! You can't borrow milk from a HUMAN... don't you know it's HAZARDOUS! ~laughs~
post #54 of 69
Who is it in Michigan that licenses day cares? This is just a thought, but they usually write something on handling breastmilk, do they not? Maybe by emailing this to the director, she can see that breastmilk is not considered hazardous, and that there are guidelines for handling it. This really is exclusive, there are some children who can only use breastmilk, formula is not an option.
post #55 of 69
Oops, I forgot!

Originally Posted by amydidit
Oh no! You can't borrow milk from a HUMAN... don't you know it's HAZARDOUS! ~laughs~
post #56 of 69
my jaw is just gaping! i am having a hard time even thinking coherent thoughts as i type this.
what a terrible situation. my gosh!
what on earth would they do in my case? my son has an autoimmune disorder, and sever food allergies, he can't have a "free safe formula"
are these people MAD??????
i have to say i'd have probably screamed if that happened to me, i tend to become extremely enraged when my breastfeeding is ever in challenge.
YES YES. please contact your newspaper, contact you states local magazine( if they have one) contact a local television station.
wow. in no way should they be allowed to demonize breastmilk this way.
does this church offer a nursing room? where the sermon is piped in? many churxhes offer crying rooms, but to me that would be far too distracting for a nursling.
so a nursing room in is order at the very least.
post #57 of 69
They are so out of line. How dare they tell you how you should feed your baby!

I just don't understand there views.
post #58 of 69
I think I'd go the media route, the message they are giving is damaging and SCIENTIFICALLY TOTALLY WRONG.

Breastmilk is not a hazardous fluid and formula is not safe in comparison to breastmilk.

It would be wrong if they simply said "we won't handle breastmilk" but what they do is significantly more damaging.

Find a reporter who's interested in human interest or health promotion stories.

post #59 of 69
Thread Starter 

Thanks from the OP

Thanks for validation. Now, and least I understand why this still bugs me 10 months later. My son hasn't had a bottle in many months. Fixing it, so I can go back isn't really my issue.

I can't seem to find my thread from last June labled church called breastmilk a hazardous bodily fluid, so here's a bit of the backstory.

This is my third child. The medical industry pushed me into lactivism. For even little things, their answer was supplement. It was a constant fight, for a healthy full term girl. But back in 1998 the weight charts weren't accurate.

I have returned to work 6 weeks after each child was born, and two are formula free. For the first, the medicos convinced the now ex to dump 2.5 ounces of formula into her, as I was still having the episiotimy which the medico continued to cut over my objections stiched up. We took the bag from hell home with us, and he supplemented a little to try and give me a break. No break, really, each time she got sick and threw that crap up.

This was my third child, I was used to fighting for my babies' feeding rights. I considered myself a pretty tough lactivist by that the time. After what they said, I was in tears. I clung to my baby and cried. I went to their main lobby and used the phone in tears so my hubby could calm me down. I told anyone who asked why I was crying, that I had been told my breastmilk was hazardous bodily fluid and the church offered me free safer formula. They looked at me like big deal, and fled.

I wrote a letter, and discussed it with the head of Discovery Island. I asked our blessed commune (this site) to lay off. She seemed scared some one might hurt her. The emails and phone calls were so mean, they scared her.

It still bugs me. I am an engineer. Science is my life. When others do hurtful things and claim it's science, it really ticks me off.

A shame based, your breastmilk is dirty message followed by an offer of free safer formula, from the church I had come to love and trust. I haven't been able to attend another service, and not because I can't figure something else to put in that bleeping bottle.

I think next I'd like to find the WHO guidelines about formula not being given to nursing moms, and go meet with someone at the church. Am I right in thinking that if the do good works around the world, they probably use those guidlines for other things?

Thank you one and all. The volume of your concern has made me feel less like the crazy lady who just can't let it go.

post #60 of 69
I would contact the media. Their nursery policy is not a spiritual issue and I don't believe you need to keep it within the church.

We have not regularly attended church since ds was born, and a lot of it is hesitation to visit churches because nursery policies we might disagree with. This church needs to be held accountable for their discriminatory, illogical, and flat-out wrong policies.

I hope you are somehow able to get them to change this policy.

ETA: I started writing this then had to attend to ds and didn't see your reply until after I posted. I see you've decided on a next step.
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