I slapped his pediatrician

[splash]

Charlie had his 9 month WBV this morning. Sometimes I wonder WHY we go, but it's necessary for him. We need medical documentation of his issues and progress on a regular basis, if only for a CYA purpose.
Anyway, I was grumpy at the outset because the nurse put down that he was formula fed only. I asked why she wrote that and she said "you said he wasn't getting solid food" so I said no, he's not getting solids but he's not getting formula either. She asked me what I meant. Grrr... every heard of tits woman?
Pediatrician asked if he was getting shots, I said no.
Then his exam. Now I had planned today to tell her not to take his diaper off, but I chickened out. Because she has NEVER before done anything. Checked for both testicles (seriously, do they think they're gonna run away or something? He has two! I would notice if he didn't!) and felt his abdomen. Then she grabbed his penis and started to pull it back. I told her not to and when she didn't stop I physically swatter her hand away. I told her NOT to pull it back. She repeatedly said she wasn't pulling it back, just looking. I told her there was NO reason to look. She got kinda gruff "you don't want me to look? Fine" and then says to Charlie "mommy doesn't want me to look" and goes about her business.
She's seen him dozens of times (remember, Charlie used to be at the ped once or twice a week) and has never retracted his penis or really paid it any mind. Why today?
Did I act too quickly? I mean, why would she do it NOW if she's never done it before?
I really do like my pediatrician a great deal, so I feel bad if I jumped to conclusions.
We also finally got him an epi-pen today. I know once he starts eating we're going to need it. I just didn't want it. I'm glad we have it... I just wish we didn't have to.

[Revamp]

Seems strange...

By the title of your post I thought that you meant you had slapped the ped for suggesting or pressuring a circ to you which would put me into something of a bind: I deplore violence but would an minor actual instance of it be overwhelmed by a suggested major one?

Well, since that was not the event that unfolded and in response to what did happen I would suggest questioning her on this one, this is somebody you are going to have to depend on for direct medical advice and accordingly if you feel mistrust towards her (for any reason) it is probably something that needs to be resolved.

Seems very odd to me.

[Shaunam]

See the thing is....you don't know whether she would have "just looked", or if she would've pulled it back till she met resistance and stopped (still not a good thing, but not as horrible as full retraction), or if she would have ripped the whole thing back.

Just because a doctor says they are going to "just look" doesn't mean they aren't going to hurt him.

When she didn't stop when you told her not to do that (retract) and she continued to do what she was doing, she crossed a boundry. You had every right to slap her hand away.

Who knows how badly she *might* have hurt your son? You did what you had to do to protect him. End of story.

I think you should write her a short letter with the AAP's rec on it (NO retraction) and explain to her that you consider ANY manipulation of his foreskin to be innappropriate. And that she needs to respect your wishes the FIRST time you say something and you shouldn't have to physically stop her from doing innapropriate things to your son.

[Shaunam]

And also....some doctors think there's a magic time when the foreskin is supposed to retract. Maybe she never touched it before, but decided to touch it today because she thinks 9 months is that magic time when it's okay to pull it back, even just a little bit to "look".

[gabysmom617]

kudos!! I, for one, don't think you acted too quickly! I'm glad you made her move her hand! If you told her to stop, it would have been polite for her to stop and tell you exactly what she planned on doing. It was rude and discourteous for her not to.

I hope Frank comes along (where are you frank??) and corrects me if i'm wrong, but there is no reason to even pull it back "just to look". if he is peeing fine, and has never had problems before, there is just no reason to.

I"m SO giving you a high five!

[Sustainer]

Originally Posted by Shaunam

When she didn't stop when you told her not to do that (retract) and she continued to do what she was doing, she crossed a boundry. You had every right to slap her hand away.

Who knows how badly she *might* have hurt your son? You did what you had to do to protect him. End of story.

I think you should write her a short letter with the AAP's rec on it (NO retraction) and explain to her that you consider ANY manipulation of his foreskin to be innappropriate. And that she needs to respect your wishes the FIRST time you say something and you shouldn't have to physically stop her from doing innapropriate things to your son.

:

[Sustainer]

Oh, I also think it's completely irresponsible of the nurse to write "formula fed" on his chart based simply on the fact that he doesn't eat solids.

[Revamp]

There was nothing wrong in your actions at all.

[Frankly Speaking]

Originally Posted by gabysmom617

I hope Frank comes along (where are you frank??) and corrects me if i'm wrong, but there is no reason to even pull it back "just to look". if he is peeing fine, and has never had problems before, there is just no reason to.

You are absolutely right. This doctor has shown her ignorance of penile anatomy. She was looking for (1) meatal stenosis which doesn't happen to intact boys or (2) hypospadias which if present in anything more than a very minor case, would involve the foreskin and the foreskin would be deformed. Estelle, since you knew both of these facts and knew neither was the case, you were correct to tell her not to retract Charlies foreskin even for "a look." It is also appropriate to use force to the extent necessary to protect Charlie. If a slap on the hand was the necessary force, so be it. A slap on the head with a hockey stick would have probably been going a bit overboard though.



Frank

[pdx.mothernurture]

What's with the "just looking" crap? We once saw a pediatrician that wasn't our regular one when Quinn was sick with a fever/cold. He was old and white haired, and I probably should have suspected he was 'old school'---unlike our Burkenstock-wearing, longer-haired, easy-going regular ped. Anyway, he partially retracted Quinn, enough were at least half of the glans was exposed...so fast, I didn't even have time to slap him. I said, "No! Don't retract him!" and he replied, "I wasn't. I was just looking." WTH?

So...don't presume that 'just looking' doesn't mean they're planning some level of retraction. This ped fortunately didn't force it, and my son didn't seem bothered...but still. I think he was barely a year old at the time. Arrrggghhh!

Jen

[flyingspaghettimama]

Originally Posted by splash

Checked for both testicles (seriously, do they think they're gonna run away or something? He has two! I would notice if he didn't!) and felt his abdomen.

Good on you, overall.

But my doc does check my son's testicles and found he has hydrocele, which is apparently no big deal but something that can be related to hernias if they don't self-correct? Or something? I don't know, she checks them every time and tells me the same thing every time, that he has it and it's no big deal. So I guess that's why they check?

[Hippiemommie]

Nope I had to do the same thing to a nurse at my son's old pedi office. She was retracting and he started screaming and I had to smack her hand away and and cover his poor penis.

[nonnymoose]

Originally Posted by splash

the nurse put down that he was formula fed only. I asked why she wrote that and she said "you said he wasn't getting solid food" so I said no, he's not getting solids but he's not getting formula either. She asked me what I meant. Grrr... every heard of tits woman?

I think you need to write a letter about more than circumcision. What a dingbat.

[phatchristy]

I sort of yelled at my ped two appointments ago becuase I was not happy with the way she handles his penis. She sort of held it and looked like she was pulling on the skin (as if to pull back without retracting). BUT, like all of you, I flipped out and told her not to handle the penis like that. She said "Oh, I wasn't going to retract him" but I have to think....hmm....like Frank says I wonder about the hypospadias thing.

Maybe docs are so worried that if they didn't find something like that they'd get sued?

At the last appointment I told her to just look, don't touch...and when she wanted to see the underside of the penis I was the one who moved it so she couls see the scrotum, etc.

DH is actually going to get some legal papers together for me and I am going to write up some medical directives in case something happens to me or DH. I honestly worry that some of the people in our family would want to have him cut if something happened to us. I have also told DH MANY times that nobody ever retracts him...the first one to do it will be our son himself, and that normally might not even happen through puberty... From reading these boards I hear too many stories of ignorant docs

[Ann-Marita]

Originally Posted by splash

Grrr... every heard of tits woman?

[Revamp]

Originally Posted by flyingspaghettimama

Good on you, overall.

But my doc does check my son's testicles and found he has hydrocele, which is apparently no big deal but something that can be related to hernias if they don't self-correct? Or something? I don't know, she checks them every time and tells me the same thing every time, that he has it and it's no big deal. So I guess that's why they check?

Hydroceles and hernias look similar but are too different things.

I have one which is rather large and being operated upon in July.

[mama_at_home]

I think you were right to do it. You can never be too careful, especially since she didn't stop when you told her to. We don't take our kids to WBV but if we did I would tell the dr. ahead of time not to pull back the skin AT ALL for any reason. I am sorry you had to deal with that.

[flyingspaghettimama]

Ot!

Originally Posted by Revamp

Hydroceles and hernias look similar but are too different things.

I have one which is rather large and being operated upon in July.

Thanks - I went and looked it up...this must be why peds check the little guys, although one certainly doesn't need to do a retraction to do so:

If the “hydrocele” is still present after one year, the diagnosis should be changed to inguinal hernia. The structure has not changed – only the recognition that a hernia is present...

Hydroceles are very common. Perhaps half of all newborn boys have a hydrocele, although it is often not diagnosed.

http://www.drgreene.com/21_1119.html

thanks again for pointing that out. good luck with your surgery.

[girlsmamma2]

Just a lurker here, but am trying to research caring for intact penis's incase we are having a boy this time around. I don't think you you acted too soon or too vehemently. Everything, EVERYTHING, i have read from experienced mammas says to either make it clear from the get go, hands off, or to be ready to jump in if it even looks like they may retract. I would have probably been even more jumpier! Mainly because it can happen in a split second and then the damage is done. And one doctor's "I'm just looking" could be another's "looking is retracting", kwim?

don't worry mamma, you did fine. so what if her ego was bruised? You little boy is fine and that is all that matters.

[Momtwice]

I would not put anything in writing about having to stop the doctor, or slapping. It could be used against you.