First let me say that 9lbs is not a huge baby...it's a big baby, but not a huge baby. The birth center where my Mom works just helped a woman deliver an 11lb baby! And both did fine. Your body grows the size baby it can handle in almost all cases.
I think some worry is natural...giving birth is scary. It takes you to the edge of the abysss, but you can do it. All (most?) women get to a point in birth where they wonder what they are doing and how they can go on. I was born at home, my brother was born at home, I've attended at least 50 home births with my Mom and yet in transition I found myself thinking..."why the hell didn't I go to the hospital and get an epidural...is my Mom crazy for telling women this is the best way to have babies?" But after it was all over...I have never felt so proud, so empowered and so sure of myself. After giving birth you KNOW you can do anything.
If you and your partner are on the same page you can avoid the epi at the hospital. I'd let them know right away NOT TO OFFER AN EPI unless you ASK FIRST. And if you don't have a doula maybe think about that because they can be very very helpful in helping you keep control and avoid the pressures of the nurses offering pain control.
I think one of the most important things to know about pregnancy and birth is the art of surrender. You can't control when this baby comes. All you can do is wait and visualize a beautiful birth witha beautiful baby girl waiting for you at the end. Try not to focus on your fear. Spend a little time every day letting go of your fear and picturing what you WANT to happen, not what you are afraid of. Birth is a time where we just need to learn to let go and trust our bodies and our babies....they know what to do.
Big hugs to you, you can do this. You will be amazed at how much strength and power you have in you.