or Connect
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Toddler › Life with a Toddler › Happy Second Birthday! *~June 04 Kids & Mammas~*
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

Happy Second Birthday! *~June 04 Kids & Mammas~* - Page 2

post #21 of 273
Thread Starter 
QoC-- Congrats on your pre-kids weight! I'm not even hoping to see mine again until a) the pain in my tooth gets so bad that I can't chew anymore or b) I get pregnant again.

The big joy in my world-- BooBah has been removing her clothing and using the toilet *on her own*!! Last night, for example, she took her diaper off and went into the bathroom. I was nursing Bella, so I couldn't get up, but when Bella finally popped off I went down the hall. BooBah had closed the door of the bathroom-- a feat in and of itself, since the apartment is slanted so that the bathroom door swings open on it's own. She had apparently sat on the bathroom floor (emptying most of my conditioner bottle : ) for a bit, but when I came in, she was sitting on the toilet. "I'm pooping in da toy-wit, mamma," she said, and she was!! She makes no attempt to wipe herself when she poops, but when she pees she wipes on her own and holy moly, it's so wonderful not to have to deal with BooBah poop! It's the first time since BeanBean started eating solid food that I haven't had to change a nasty-smelling poopy diaper! I'm so happy! :

Like everything else, BooBah is potty learning on her own terms. Today she wanted to wear a pair of adorable shorts which only fit her if she's wearing paper (which she does at my mother's and the IL's, but not at home), and we didn't have any paper diapers. Mike was hesitant, but I told him to take her to the toilet to pee and then get her dressed in underpants, and we could buy some paper diapers on our way to the park. He did, and then on her own she peed before we left (when I reminded BeanBean to ). After I ran into Target, I put a pull-up on her, but that stayed dry all the way to the state park. She was dry the rest of the day, and pooped on the toilet when we got home... I'm just so totally impressed with her devotion to this. Hooray for BooBah!

Separating the toddler from the baby-- that's a tough one. The question you have to ask is, *why* is he harassing her? Is he trying to get attention from you, or is he trying to help take care of her? Maybe he wants his sister to play with him and he's just too enthusiastic about "asking" her. It could just be too much nervous energy; maybe he's not getting enough sleep, or he needs more time to run... It could be any number of things, and of course they're all best dealt with in different ways. I know that BeanBean stopped harassing BooBah (and everyone else) when I started giving him iron supplements; his foulest behavior is most often caused by anemia. BooBah, on the other hand, picks Bella up in an attempt to take care of her; she wants to "HEWP!" me and her sister. I still haven't figured out the best way to deal with this. Giving her other things to do can help, but she's very quick so they don't buy much time...
post #22 of 273
Amazing to think that we have two year olds!!

Charlie will turn 2 on June 16th - I think we will be celebrating at a cottage that some very sweet friends have invited us to

So here's the update:

Birth: 7 pounds 3 oz, and 22 inches
1 Year: 24 pounds and 30 inches

Nearly 2 years: 26 pounds and 33 1/2 inches! I think she's going to take after daddy's build


She's talking up a storm: my favourite that she says is 'How rude!' when she has to do something that she doesn't like She also refers to herself as Cha-cha, so a lot of things seem to start with 'Cha-cha neeeeeeds......'

She's definitely not quite as physically strong as a lot of her peers, although the exercises that the physio taught me have made a big difference to the ligaments in her ankle. We have more follow-up with the Ped Neuro and the Pediatrician later in June: they're still not ruling out CP, but it seems less and less likely given the advances that she has been making in all other areas.

Her favourite things to do are: play in the yard, pick dandelions, read books, watch trains and make mud puddles to splash in. She has a potty, and loves to make all of her toys sit in it: she herself won't sit on it for long enough to do anything!!! She's very keen to get out of wet/dirty diapers though, so I'm sure it's only a matter of time...maybe I need to set her up with some good books to read on the pot!!!

Well, looks like being another lovely sunny day here, so we're off to put our shorts and sunscreen on...

to all
post #23 of 273
Quote:
Originally Posted by eilonwy
Separating the toddler from the baby-- that's a tough one. The question you have to ask is, *why* is he harassing her? Is he trying to get attention from you, or is he trying to help take care of her? Maybe he wants his sister to play with him and he's just too enthusiastic about "asking" her. It could just be too much nervous energy; maybe he's not getting enough sleep, or he needs more time to run...
It really seems that he just likes seeing her reaction. She cries and turns purple, and I guess that's cool to a 2 year old. The spitting thing is just crazy, its an ongoing issue. I really think he just likes to see spit change the color of whatever he spits on (as it goes from dry to wet). I'm VERY concientious of getting him plenty of exercise every day, otherwise he doesn't sleep well. Yesterday, this happened about 7pm, and so far that day he'd: spent 2 hours playing in the church nursery with a friend, the friend came home with us and spent another two hours playing (on the playground and in his play kitchen), he'd had a 2.5 hour nap, and then we played at the park. After the park, on the way to the video store, he started harassing Ellie.
post #24 of 273
Congrats on the weight loss! That is really exciting. I'm finally into pre-pregnancy weight and it is slow going but at least it is still going.

Maybe a special toy that only comes out in the stroller? A beeping, electronic garbage toy that he doesn't get any other time? Sorry not to have better advice.

We are all cranky from the heat here. It has been such a cool spring the 90 degree crap yesterday caught us by surprise...
post #25 of 273
Quote:
Originally Posted by Queen of Cups
Can I just share a big joy in my life at the moment? I'm back at my pre-kids weight!!!! Of course, I can't chalk up the last few pounds coming off to exercise or healthy eating, but sickness and stress... but they're gone!
Congrats! I say who the hell cares how it came off! I'd put up with being sick for a while if I could lose the weight I put on- I got back to before-pre-Rowan weight super-fast, but gained some over Christmas last year. And I don't exercise. And at the moment it is too damned hot here to do anything other than work on the house (inside!). Once we move, I plan to get plenty of exercise, and hopefully lose this weight. But I am happy for you! That's great news, and encouraging! There might be hope for me!

Is it possible to spend some time with Killy without the baby? That might help sort of tank him up on attention and deflect any focus on the baby. But it might just be normal, healthy behaviour for him to harrass his sister. Isn't that what siblings are for (says the only child)?
post #26 of 273
Congrats, Queenie! I didn't gain very much this pg and am within a few lbs of my pre-pg weight, but my size 8 pants are NOT comfortable yet. Only time will tell if my hips have gotten permanently wider.

I need to dig out the baby book so I can do an update for James. I have no idea what he weighed at one year...
post #27 of 273
Quote:
Originally Posted by LizD
Is it possible to spend some time with Killy without the baby? That might help sort of tank him up on attention and deflect any focus on the baby. But it might just be normal, healthy behaviour for him to harrass his sister. Isn't that what siblings are for (says the only child)?
I make a point to do that every day... <sigh> Every morning we haver our cuddle and nursing time before Ellie wakes up, and DH puts Ellie down at night so I can cuddle and put Killy to bed every night. Plus, I cuddle him to sleep for naptime every day, too... I think this problem will persist until he (1) has greater impluse control and (2) has more empathy. When will that happen? I'm guessing when he's about 15 years old... Though, one of my in-laws favorite stories is that while they were driving him to move into his dorm freshman year of college, FIL says he saw DH hit his 13 year old sister in the backseat because he was bored. I guess I'm in for a long journey, eh?
post #28 of 273
Thread Starter 
I have to say that in terms of impulse control, BeanBean is extraordinary not only for his age, but for boys in general. When he hit his head at the Y because he was messing around, he said, "I don't know why I did that..." and he seemed very disappointed that he couldn't just tell me. I had to laugh, because guys rarely seem to know why they do silly things until they're in their early thirties-- if they ever do. At the same time, it made me recognize that I had come to expect a logical answer about these things from BeanBean, simply because he'd offered them in the past. I was expecting too much from him whenever I asked him "Why did you do that?" and I'd gotten used to recieving an answer, so when he couldn't explain his behavior he was unhappy.

My point: guys really have no idea why they do silly things most of the time. It's just not the way that their brains are wired. Men are act first, do later people, which is difficult for women to wrap their heads around as we tend to be think first, then act sorts. It's totally not fair to expect a toddler or preschooler to explain their actions, even if they are exceptionally verbal and empathic and especially if the toddler or preschooler in question is a boy. I have to keep telling myself, consciously, that Mike was probably 30 years old before he was even capable of explaining why he did things and that even now, as a 37 year old, he occasionally has difficulty with it. I'll say, "Why did you x, you could have y and things would have been so much simpler," and he'll respond, "I don't know, I just didn't think of it." This happens all the time! As a woman it's difficult for me to fathom sometimes that such a smart guy could be so clueless, but it's very normal behavior.

In other news: My teeth hurt today. The extra weight that I've packed on since Bella's birth will now unceremoniously come flying off of my behind. Mike is considering cashing out part of his 401K so that we can pay off some medical bills and I can see the dentist again. Super depressing. I also discovered that I only have one pair of shorts that fits me, and that of the super cheap t-shirts that I bought last year only 2 are fit to wear in public. Oh, and my sandals have officially bitten the dust. Yick. I don't want to spend money on cute sandal because my toenails are so ugly that I'd feel stupid wearing them, but I think they stopped making thr ones I liked (Skechers Jammers, I think they were called).

I flipped through a Hanna Andersson catalog Sunday and cried afterwards. Being poor is depressing year round! I've really got to write a book or something...
post #29 of 273
Thread Starter 
Happy Birthday, James!
post #30 of 273
Happy Birthday James!

Money just sucks.

Hey, as usual I need some advice and maybe I should take it to you ladies before wandering out of this thread. R is super grumpy all the time when she wakes up and we are getting into a conflict every morning when I try to get up and go use the bathroom. She's usually been nursing for an hour or so at that point, but doesn't want to break contact with me. Usually I end up taking her into the bathroom and holding her the whole time. She won't go to DH who is right there. The only times it doesn't happen is when she's managed to sleep over 11 hours so I think that's part of the issue but it also might be a transition thing. Meanwhile, I'm just really starting to resent having to sublimate my (urgent) needs for hers. Any suggestions?

Rynna, I hate not having money too and I can't imagine what it must feel like to be constantly juggling to make things work the way you do, though we've really had to watch it this spring thanks to some car repairs and an ER visit and some medical crap I had to take care of--we seem to be maxing out the deductible on my health insurance every single year. Just thinking about the way health care costs are handled in this country is making my blood boil... and WTF is up with dental health being somehow excluded from most health care plans these days? : The company I work for had to drop our coverage a couple years ago. Isn't the mouth part of the body too?
post #31 of 273
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Balancin1
Meanwhile, I'm just really starting to resent having to sublimate my (urgent) needs for hers. Any suggestions?
Before I offer my thoughts on R, I wanted to address this. There are times when you have to listen to your child shriek. I know that it's not very AP, and that it's not a lot of fun, and that it's really hard to justify it to oneself when you only have one child, but it's true. Sometimes mommy has to pee, whether the toddler likes it or not! Mike understands that sometimes I have to get out of bed and leave one or more children unhappy; he talks to them, he does his best to comfort, but if they only want mommy they just have to wait. A bladder infection from holding urine too long and too often would take a lot more time away from them than the 45 seconds in which I can relieve myself and wash my hands. I guess what I'm saying is, she'll learn that you're coming back *and* that she can derive comfort from daddy's presence if you just break suction and get up to use the toilet.

Now then: I've read a lot about chronically sleep-deprived children here, and while I disagree with the idea that all children who go to bed late are sleep deprived, I will say that a great many children sleep better and longer when they go to bed early. Maybe you could try making bedtime half an hour earlier, so that she's less antsy and more awake when you need to use the bathroom in the morning?

Quote:
WTF is up with dental health being somehow excluded from most health care plans these days? : The company I work for had to drop our coverage a couple years ago. Isn't the mouth part of the body too?
I've been wondering about that myself... apparently it isn't.

Aren't the new smilies cool?! There's even a cursed one: :
post #32 of 273
Happy Birthday, James!

I can't believe the twos are here! Wow! Have I really "known" you all that long?

Ugh. As for the dental coverage, we just got it. $20/month for the whole family. It completely covers cleanings every six months and X-rays once/year for all of us. I think it covers 80% of all other work. Since dh almost ALWAYS has a cavity, this freakin' rules! It's taken 10 years of dedication and hard work at his job, but finally we have dental!

Rynna, I hope to hell you can get to a dentist soon and end this pain!

Queenie, congrats on the weight loss! Yay!

Once again, where in the hell is Julie? Did I miss something? She didn't leave us did she?
post #33 of 273
Quote:
Originally Posted by Queen of Cups
I make a point to do that every day... <sigh> Every morning we haver our cuddle and nursing time before Ellie wakes up, and DH puts Ellie down at night so I can cuddle and put Killy to bed every night. Plus, I cuddle him to sleep for naptime every day, too...
No, I meant go somewhere and do something. Do you take him to the store without her? Do you go for a walk with just him? The park for half an hour? Go have lunch with just Killy? Not just routine things like sleep times but ordinary and exciting things too.

And I say "attachment parenting" has nothing to do with never letting your child cry. People who make every effort so their children don't cry are creating very selfish, spoiled little people- and many of them in the guise of being "AP." Your two-year-old can holler for a minute while Mom goes to the bathroom and either learn to accept comfort from Dad or deal with it.

But this is one reason I am going to try to rule out the morning nursing-in-bed. It makes it very hard to get up without lots of yelling from Rowan. I mean, we're not talking about a newborn, and even a newborn can lie in a carseat or crib for a few moments so you can pee before nursing, so you're relaxed. It's not only OK to prioritize some of your needs, it's good for you and your kids.
post #34 of 273
Quote:
Originally Posted by Doodlebugsmom
HOnce again, where in the hell is Julie? Did I miss something? She didn't leave us did she?
She might have because of the whole signature thing. I hope she comes back!!

Rynna- Do you have a college nearby that has a dental school? I know here one of the hospitals has a clinic that is run by students. Just a thought. It totally sucks that you're in pain and I hope you're better soon!


I got some crappy news today. One of my really good friends most likely has lymphoma or lukemia. She goes Friday for a CAT scan. She has a little one that is jsut a few weeks older then our babies. She recently weaned because she was jsut plain wiped out and had a bad feeling something else was going on. She really sad about weaning and is now terrified that she's not going to see her 3 kids grow up into adulthood. I'm hoping and praying that thre is some other bizarre reason for all her symptoms and that the CAT scan and additional bloodwork will show them soemthing less severe but for the information that she was given it's not likely. I'm just so sad and I really wish we lived closer.

On a positive note! I'm organizing a benefit for my neighbors son and Panera Bread is going to donate the food!! I'm so psyched!

We're going to Moe's for dinner(kids eat free on Tues.) so I got to get the kids moving!
post #35 of 273
Dh's cousin was diagnosed with leukemia and given six months to live twelve years ago. It is no longer the death sentence it once was, though of course I hope it is not something that serious.

What was Julie's signature deal? My signature options were revoked a few months back but I never caught how she managed to offend the powers-that-be.

The money thing- this is why I decided not to bother becoming a direct-entry midwife and to go ahead and become an RN and then a CNM. For such a high-pressure job, I want a good salary and good benefits for my family, paid vacations, etc, and most direct-entry midwives just don't have the lifestyle I want. And I don't want dh to shoulder the financial burden alone much longer. It's not fair. Plus which I can make a very nice salary as an RN while obtaining the midwifery credentials, and I will shortly have two kids in private school in addition to everything else under the sun. And no large sums to inherit, either.
post #36 of 273
Thanks for the advice and support. I guess it isn't so much about whether she cries or not but about not being able to start the day in a good way one way or the other. The crying is awful and so is taking her to the bathroom with me (which, incidentally, doesn't stop the crying so much as take it down several notches.)

Rynna, I agree that overtiredness/chronic sleep deprivation is probably the issue. We are caught in a situation where if she takes a nap she has big trouble falling asleep at night and if she doesn't take a nap she melts down most of the late afternoon. Short of CIO I am stymied at how to fix it. Last night for instance we did the bedtime thing for almost two hours. We try a mix of things--nursing, reading, alone time, etc. Last night I ended up just having to hold her still and keep shushing her for 45 minutes until she finally fell asleep. It is no good. I think there may be some deeper issues, she may not be getting her quotient of mama time in the day or something. Maybe renewed efforts on the physical activity and more mama time and I'll start up the stupid sleep charts again and see if I can spot a pattern. Sigh. Ideas and advice welcome, we've been struggling with this for two freakin' years. :

Sandi, I will send good thoughts to your friend and cross everything for some good news. That is my greatest fear, not the illness for my own sake but leaving my kids without a mama.
post #37 of 273
I can't find Julie in the members' list now....I sent her an email, is anyone in touch with her!?!?!?
post #38 of 273
Thread Starter 
Oh Sandi! I'll keep her in my thoughts.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Balancin1
Rynna, I agree that overtiredness/chronic sleep deprivation is probably the issue. We are caught in a situation where if she takes a nap she has big trouble falling asleep at night and if she doesn't take a nap she melts down most of the late afternoon. Short of CIO I am stymied at how to fix it.
The fastest way to do it would probably be to wake her up a bit earlier, and get her nap in earlier in the day. BooBah needs to take a nap most days; she's perfectly content to take it at 11 am or at 3 pm, but not both. If I can get her up and moving by 7 (and it can't be any earlier, because if the kids are up when Mike leaves for work and I'm not taking them anywhere, all hell breaks loose), she'll eat breakfast, watch some PBS kids and nap at 11. Then she's wonderful for the rest of the day; up at 12:30 for lunch, runs around, plays with Daddy, has dinner, and goes to bed very nicely around 8:30. If she takes a nap at 3, the whole evening is shot. She's lucky to get to sleep by midnight, and then of course she doesn't want to wake up at 7 (nor do I!)... it's a self-perpetuating cycle, and it takes some tooth gritting to break.

BeanBean was a lot easier, sleep-wise, than BooBah is. He nearly always got as much sleep as he needed, regardless of when the family went to bed. I guess it was easier for him, having a baby sister; mommy was tired at a "reasonable" hour, so it wasn't a big deal for him to go to bed early.
post #39 of 273
Quote:
Originally Posted by eilonwy
The fastest way to do it would probably be to wake her up a bit earlier, and get her nap in earlier in the day.
Rynna, you are like my conscience or something. That's exactly what the issue is only we've been trying to tackle it from the other side and only making a half-hearted attempt at just going for it head on. I've been lazy because I'm not getting to bed early enough (after battling a toddler half the night)...

The heat has broke here finally. Maybe everything will get a little easier.
post #40 of 273
Thread Starter 
You are like *my* conscience; thinking about you had a lot to do with me actually dragging my lazy booty out of bed after Bella finished nursing and waking the kids up at a reasonable hour. It's nine a.m. and the kids have eaten and are playing quietly, despite the fact that BooBah didn't get to bed until just after 11 (when she finally passed out after screaming, totally exhausted, for a solid hour ). Thanks to your post, I realized that I had to suck it up and wake up in the morning, so I asked Mike to make sure that I was awake when he left for work.

I actually talked to Mike a bit last night (my guess would be that he read my blog-- sometimes, that's a useful thing!) and told him what I needed from him in order to get the kids out of the house more often and into bed earlier. As a result, he's going to remove the four boxes of books (which are his; his father made him take them when they were found during the move) from the van and help me clean out the cooler. See, the reason that I have a hard time taking the kids out during the day is that it's very expensive to feed them on the road. If we can pack a picnic lunch, we can spend the whole day out of the house. I think that'd be a good thing for BeanBean and BooBah! We spend the day at Pine Grove, come back in time to play with daddy, eat dinner, and go to bed so that we can get up at 7 and do it all again. I'm probably overly optimistic about this plan, : but I figure, it'll be like summer camp for them if it works, only without the compulsory arts-and-crafts and the kids trying to rebuild their usual cliques within the structure of their group; anyone else remember "the cool cabin?" Even when I was part of "the cool cabin," I didn't understand it.
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: Life with a Toddler
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Toddler › Life with a Toddler › Happy Second Birthday! *~June 04 Kids & Mammas~*