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MW Troubles - Need Advice ASAP!!!

post #1 of 9
Thread Starter 
I'll make this as simple and short as possible. I really need some advice. Here's my situation:

When I got my lab work done the 1st time (a couple months ago) it came back w/ my blood levels low. Which is my platelets, hemoglobin, hemocrit, etc. My mw let us know and so we talked to a doctor in natural medicine w/ 3PHD's that we know in AZ and also a microsopy expert (plus he's a nutritionist) here in CA. They both looked at my bloodwork and told us they wouldn't do anything differently (as far as supplements go) and that they would *expect* those kinds of levels, being pg and that the most I should do is wait till after the baby is 6 months old and get my bloodwork taken again to see if I still have low levels. So, that's what we told our MW that we were gonna do and that we feel comfortable with where we're at and that we have Faith in GOD that everything will be ok with this birth. Fine. She just told us that we'd have to sign a waiver. Which we did.

So time goes by (over a month) and she asks if we would consider getting my CBC done again, which we said no, we're comfortable..we don't feel the need. Fine. So then she comes for the homevisit and very casually says, "I know that you don't want to get tested again but in case you decide, here's a lab sheet." So at this point I realize that she's definitely NOT listening to us.

My last app. (2 days ago) she talked about it again and we decided together that we'd just treat it as "I have low levels, what supplements do you want me to take" So she made me a list of 6 different things to take which I got the next day and am now taking. From our conversation at my app. I was under the impression that everything was ok. I told her I understood where she was coming from and asked her if taking these supplements would make her feel better and she said, Yes, they would.

Ok, I called her earlier to ask her a question about something, left a message. She called back, answered my question and then went on to say.."Ya know, I know how you feel about retesting but I really feel strongly about it and if your platelet level is below 120 now (they were 131 when I was tested) then I can't deliver the baby and I need to know what you're at." UMMMMMMMMMM WHAT!?!?!?!?!??!?!? So I was like, "I need to talk to Matt about this, blah blah blah, we'll call you back."

I got really upset and told Matt and of course started crying. Our big thing is that, say I go get tested and my levels are the same but I go in labor BEFORE the results come back...will she still deliver our baby? Why did she wait until NOW?!?! Why didn't she just turn us away over a month ago when we FIRST denied another test?!?! Why did she lead us all the way to this point, less than 3 wks away from giving birth to totally drop this bomb?!?!?

I've been crying all afternoon. Matt called her and talked to her and said we're probably just gonna go with someone else and all this stuff. I was only able to talk to her for a few minutes because I started crying so hard again. She apologized to me and said it was wrong for her to say anything about it because she realized what she has put me through. She actually started crying on the phone, at which point I had to hand the phone over to Matt because I started crying and couldn't talk.

*sigh* So, in the end she said she will deliver the baby no matter what but still wants us to get another test. Should I stay with her? Matt called a MW near where his mom lives in Michigan (we're moving back to Michigan after we have baby anyways) and she said she would see us. I REALLY DON'T wanna deal with flying back to Michigan and staying at my MIL's house. It's full of ppl and I would NOT feel comfortable delivering there. This MW that Matt and I talked to said she has a little cabin behind her house that we could use if we wanted. But seriously, I would feel most comfortable laboring here. I've been here for awhile and have envisioned myself giving birth here. But I know that there's probably gonna be this wall up or this weird vibe between us and our MW since all this happened, kwim? Can we trust her now? Should we trust her now that she says she'll deliver no matter what? What if she flip flops yet again?? Should we feel comfortable w/ her delivering our child knowing that she has had a seed of doubt in her all along??

I just DO NOT know what to do. I feel like I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. My gut is telling me to just get the test. At least it'll give her peace of mind and make her feel comfortable but I don't want Matt to be uncomfortable and feeling negative about my decision. He agrees that it's up to me but he said if it was up to him, I would've been on a plane back to Michigan already. *sigh* I just want everyone to be positive and happy. What should I do Mamas?!?!?!
post #2 of 9
I have no advice, but couldn't read without offering you a . I'm so sorry you are having to deal with this now, just a couple weeks from delivering.
post #3 of 9
Yeah, dealt with something like this with the MW for DC1... Agreed to a version of one test for her and even though it came back perfectly fine she pushed for other tests that we had agreed were not for us. Two pushy phone calls did it for me. I switched care.

Obviously I wouldn't feel comfortable enough to trust this woman at my birth if I were you... but your location can have almost as big an effect on the outcome as your relationship with your MW...

I would NOT redo the test at this point, myself. If you feel like the midwife can trust in your body (withOUT the test) then I'd say stick with her... sounds like you feel pretty comfortable with her aside from this, ya know?

Good luck with whatever you decide to do...
post #4 of 9
Oh, mama....this sounds like so much to deal with.

After reading your situation, and if it were me I *think* I would get the test - I don't think that your mw is not trusting in your body, I think she wants to make sure that all of your collective bases are covered - she has prob been struggling with this as well (or at least it sounds like it to me). Not that she was right in the way she handled it......

It does sound like you like her aside from this and I would hate to see you lose your mw this far into the game....i dunno, what a tough situation.

I am not so sure that hpopping on a plane is the best case scenario at this point for you, this is just mho, I know that I would be a wreck.

keep us posted -
post #5 of 9
I'm in MI - so if you do end up coming here, know that. I'm not sure where you're coming to, but I'm in the SE MI area. I'm happy to PM you my number if you want it.

Other than that - I can only do the whole lame cyber hug thing for you... it is hard and I have no idea what I would do in your situation. I agree with moutainsun, it sounds like your MW has been struggling with this, but her choices in representing that struggle have been really unprofessional. On the other hand, even though I'm sure she wanted you to be re-tested from the get-go, she felt awful saying "I'll drop you as a client if you don't" and who knows what else has happened in the meantime, yk? She could have had some horrible situation with a birth and platelets or heard a "horror story" from another mw friend of hers or read something...there's so many factors that could lead to her last minute panic.

I would get re-tested. Bloodwork usually only takes 2-3 days to come back for me and I'd just do it. If it's low (which I've heard is NOT a bad thing but actually what you want b/c it means your blood volume has expanded properly as it should have being pg) and it makes your mw that uncomfortable, than is your only option going to MI? Couldn't you find someone else in the area? If it's within what she considers "normal" range then everyone can breathe a sigh of relief and I imagine the situation would be less tense though I have to say, I'd still feel uncomfortable with how the mw handled things.

Geez, I'm back to just the cyber hug. This stinks...especially so late in the game. Ugh.
post #6 of 9
I think that you probably should set up a meeting with your midwife just to clear the air. As a midwife, I have been taught by my clients many times over just how powerful my words are. I have had to learn not to just think aloud or randomly comment about what I might want to do in a given situation because sometimes moms and dads carry away what I have said and get very upset about it.

I think the basic issue here is that you said you didn't want to be tested, agreed to sign a waiver so that she would feel somewhat protected, and (I'm assuming) are showing no symptoms of having low hemoglobin or hematocrit (like tiredness, pallor, or insomnia) or low platelets (bruising at the slightest contact). She then backed out on your agreement because she felt outside her own comfort zone without having that information.

As an aside, I feel like a very low hemoglobin (below 9) or hematocrit (below 27), especially when associated with symptoms of anemia would make me a lot more uncomfortable about a homebirth than platelets around 120,000. With low platelets you want to avoid having surgery and having large, bleeding tears. Where better than home to do that!? Blood clotting is a factor in stopping uterine bleeding, but by far not the biggest one. If the uterus is properly contracted, bleeding will slow in the absence of almost any clotting (at least enough to get help). Whereas the anemia might make it harder for your body to tolerate a normal blood loss.

Good luck in your move to Michigan -- I hope it comes at just the right time for you.
post #7 of 9
Thread Starter 
First of all I want to say to all of you for your words of advice!! It really means alot to me mamas, Thank you.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Defenestrator

I think the basic issue here is that you said you didn't want to be tested, agreed to sign a waiver so that she would feel somewhat protected, and (I'm assuming) are showing no symptoms of having low hemoglobin or hematocrit (like tiredness, pallor, or insomnia) or low platelets (bruising at the slightest contact). She then backed out on your agreement because she felt outside her own comfort zone without having that information.

As an aside, I feel like a very low hemoglobin (below 9) or hematocrit (below 27), especially when associated with symptoms of anemia would make me a lot more uncomfortable about a homebirth than platelets around 120,000. With low platelets you want to avoid having surgery and having large, bleeding tears. Where better than home to do that!? Blood clotting is a factor in stopping uterine bleeding, but by far not the biggest one. If the uterus is properly contracted, bleeding will slow in the absence of almost any clotting (at least enough to get help). Whereas the anemia might make it harder for your body to tolerate a normal blood loss.

Good luck in your move to Michigan -- I hope it comes at just the right time for you.

That's the thing. I show NO signs, whatsoever. My iron levels are actually in the "high" range. My platelet levels were @ 131 about 2 months ago. My hemoglobin was 8.8. I have the rest of the info on my lab sheet. But I drink ionized mineral water which is oxygenated. Meaning, I get straight oxygen to my blood when I drink it so I KNOW I have enough in my body...if I didn't I'd obviously show signs. That's what she doesn't understand I guess. I mean, we've explained to her that I have ZERO sypmtoms, so how could I have had a huge drop in my levels? But she just doesn't want to accept that. I mean, if someone has a problem, they're GONNA show signs, sypmtoms. *Sigh*

Anyways, I've been praying all yesterday and last night. And my gut is telling me to just go get the stupid test. I just have to make sure she stays true to her word this time and doesn't flip on me (us) again. Because yesterday after we talked for awhile she said she would deliver no matter what but just wanted me to get a test. If it will help bring to ease (instead of at dis-ease..which we all know what that means, disease) then I'd rather her feel confidant and sure of herself. I don't want ANY negative thoughts towards my labor. If she would've said -the 1st time she mentioned me retesting-that I HAD to go get another test because it was 'mandatory' or whatever, we would've had NO problem with it. We would've thought, "Ok, we have to go take another test." We wouldn't have said no. But we said no because the decision was left up to us. It wasn't anything she said we absolutely HAD to do, she just 'suggested' it. "We could if we wanted to" type thing.

mountainsun: I really do like her aside from this whole situation and I do want her to deliver this child. I feel like we've grown a bond, ya kno? And I also agree that getting on a plane is NOT the best thing for me to do. It would be just too crazy for me to deal w/ at this stage.

Thank you all again mamas!
post #8 of 9
Quote:
Originally Posted by EcoMama7
And I also agree that getting on a plane is NOT the best thing for me to do. It would be just too crazy for me to deal w/ at this stage.
Frankly I don't think the airlines would let you on a plane at this stage. I think the "rule" is <36 weeks or something, isn't it?
post #9 of 9
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by mcimom
Frankly I don't think the airlines would let you on a plane at this stage. I think the "rule" is <36 weeks or something, isn't it?
I think so. My MIL thought the same thing but I'm not completely sure. Especially since I've been having regular cntx ever since I got up this morning. Well, they started out this morning w/ period type cramps and then came regular cntx. This *could* be the start of my labor. : We'll see.
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