PLEASE!! Help me with pacifier problems - Page 2

[bobica]

Originally Posted by Ayala Eilon

Well, have you read that article? Can you really know that it is emotionally not harmful? Where is your research coming from? You know, it has been sceintifically proven!!! The link to cigarets and other oral addiction too, how do you know better than researchers?

The need to suck is cared for by breastfeeding. So you are right, without the breast, the pacifier may be a good substitute, but not if we teach a child to use it instead of feeling her emotions. It is easy to think that the baby needs to suck when she may really need to cry. We give her the pacifier and she learns, "when I want to cry, I should suck."

Just because one article "proves" one theory, doesn't make it fact. anecdotally, i was a HUGE pacifier user until about age 3. i have never smoked, nor felt the need to smoke. No oral addictions that i'm aware of. And, i can cry at the drop of a hat, and am very very very capable of expressing myself fully.

I just can't fathom that this theory could be applied in a blanket way across the board for babies. some babies need to suck more than others. My dd never wanted a pacifier- we tried them all. She found her thumb around 8 weeks of age & never looked back. She uses it when she's tired & to settle herself when she's finished crying & expressing herself quite fully. :

[ShelFish]

Originally Posted by mamajody

Somewhat OT,

But have any of you seen the teens who walk around with pacifiers in their mouths. or the ones that obsessively suck lollipops/chew gum? maybe there is something to this oral fixation concern? Or maybe it is because they weren't BF, or maybe their moms took away their binkies before they were ready....?

AFAIK, pacifiers are considered drug paraphanalia when used by teens.
From http://www.focusas.com/Ecstasy.html:

What are other signs of use? . . . Possessing a baby pacifier, a pacifier made of candy, lollipops, and candy necklaces. Some club drugs cause the users to clench their teeth tightly which causes discomfort. The pacifier eliminates this discomfort.

[nancy926]

QUOTE: You know, it has been sceintifically proven!!!


Yeah, I might buy this if scientifically was spelled correctly.

Plus, you don't "prove" things using science. You test hypotheses and build a body of evidence. The whole concept of "proof" is overblown.

Show me a significant body of evidence that binkies lead to cigarette smoking, and I'll read through it and lyk what I think. I doubt seriously there's much there.

To the OP: I would let your child have her binky when she wants it. Huge changes are afoot, and her binky brings her comfort. Maybe after your baby is a year old or so, you can work on getting rid of it. But right now is probably not the best time.

Both of my kids have binkies, mostly b/c their dad slings them for naps and bedtimes and he's always pushed the binkies on them. If they don't fall asleep that way, they nurse to sleep....which is the world's most natural binky.

[BethSLP]

Originally Posted by Ayala Eilon

The need to suck is cared for by breastfeeding. So you are right, without the breast, the pacifier may be a good substitute, but not if we teach a child to use it instead of feeling her emotions. It is easy to think that the baby needs to suck when she may really need to cry. We give her the pacifier and she learns, "when I want to cry, I should suck."

There is a lot of evidence for the harm of the pacifier. Believe what you want. It doesn't change the evidence.

How is nursing for comfort any different than a paci if your argument is that we are teaching them "when I want to cry, I should suck." To me, it would still send that message. You are providing something to suck when they cry be it paci or breast.

The article is no longer linked properly so I can't read it. Ive read similar and I think their "evidence" is shotty. The basis of AP is also not "scientific" as far as I can tell. I think some of the principles are good, but I do not believe that we are making "decisions" in babyhood or during our birth that affect our lives. Nor does it make ANY sense that a child would do drugs because they had a paci. How in the world could that ever be scientifically proven? There are a zillion sociological variables there. You could never do a decent study on that or isolate that variable.

I've heard AP parents refer to the way AP kids turn out over and over again as "evidence" for AP. However, I would posit that ANY parents who care enough to subscribe to a parenting philosophy, read about parenting, and post on message boards about how to be a better parent are already 100x more conscientious than 99% of the parents out there. I work in a public school and the majority of my parents don't even think about how to be a parent, feed their kids cheetos every night, let the TV raise them, and are wrapped up in their own lives. Its hardly fair to compare AP kids to the average kids because clearly anyone who is trying to practice AP at least gives a damn. Does that make sense?

Not everything is some emotional drama for our little ones that will set the course of their adult life. When my DD cries, I comfort her. She has a sucking reflex. One could just as easily make the argument that sucking breastmilk every time she's upset could make an association that she should eat when she is upset. Of course that's hogwash, but it follows the same new age logic.

Our babies were not born with pacis. But they were also not born with slings, swings, blankets, or anything else for that matter. If my daughter is more comfortable swaddled or sucking a paci because it stimulates a deep calming reflex in her, then I think its nice to provide it. Currently, DD does not take a paci, but i would like to acclimate her to one for the car. I cannot breastfeed her when I'm driving. She wasn't born with a car seat either....but she benefits from that too.

XOXO
Beth

[LynnS6]

Originally Posted by BethSLP

How is nursing for comfort any different than a paci if your argument is that we are teaching them "when I want to cry, I should suck." To me, it would still send that message. You are providing something to suck when they cry be it paci or breast.

Our babies were not born with pacis. But they were also not born with slings, swings, blankets, or anything else for that matter. If my daughter is more comfortable swaddled or sucking a paci because it stimulates a deep calming reflex in her, then I think its nice to provide it.

:

Our daughter never took a pacifier (hated all artificial nipples really) and I would have dearly loved her to be able to take one when we were driving. Or in the 18th middle of the night waking when she was teething. She reversed cycled and nurses more when she teethes.

To the OP: Our son took a pacifier -- like you we limited it to night time and car rides. And then the slow creep began. We made a deal that he could only have the pacifier if he were upstairs (i.e. not playing) or snuggling on our laps. He'd sit on the top stair with his pacifier and blanket (we only have 5 steps, so it wasn't far), talk to me while I was cooking/in the living room, and then after a few minutes, recover enough to go play.

When he was 4, his daycare insisted he give it up for naps. He was fine with it (he never napped anyway!). We'd been talking to him about giving it up in the new year, but not pushing hard. And then one day we lost the last one. Seriously. He had a tendency to toss them down when he was done, and who knows where it went that time. Dh looked for over an hour with him before they absoluletly had to go in the car. Our son cried a bit that night, but went to sleep fine. Cried a bit the next night. Expressed a bit of sorrow the following night. Several weeks later, he found the missing pacifier in a toy bin, sucked on it twice and never went back. (Since then the pacifier fairies have been scattering them about the house - I've found FOUR -- or maybe we just need to clean more )

Anyway, my point is -- there is still time to give it up. This is a BAD time. When she's older and more able to deal with the momentary stress. I knew it was an OK time for ds because he didn't cry long, he'd given it up at daycare, and he fell asleep just fine without it.

She'll get there, ignore your dentist (who is misinformed from all I've read) and make sure she gets some extra love and cuddle time with you when the new baby comes. In 3 years, you won't remember that you stressed about this!