Single Mothers By Choice

[Sarah]

I saw a bit on a news show last night about the growing trend for women to purposly, for various reasons, undertake pregnancy and parenthood on their own without a partner. Anyway- I was following the story and anyway they showed a scene of a support group meeting of "Single Mothers by Choice" and was shocked that no children appeared to be at the meeting. I kind of assume that it would look like a LLL meeting. Huh.

Just to be clear I'm not going to form any opinion about any single mother by choice from that brief clip of that one group- but does anyone have any experience with the group? Are they child friendly? Do they support nursing single mothers? I was just curious because I would have expected a much more child friendly scene with babes in arms etc. Is the group really all about finding and financing sperm donors- and beyond birth you are not only single- you are alone?

Love Sarah

[Rhiannon Feimorgan]

I don't know anything about the group but i sure hope the impression you got was wrong, that would be terribly sad.

[MountainLaurel]

Originally Posted by Sarah

I saw a bit on a news show last night about the growing trend for women to purposly, for various reasons, undertake pregnancy and parenthood on their own without a partner. Anyway- I was following the story and anyway they showed a scene of a support group meeting of "Single Mothers by Choice" and was shocked that no children appeared to be at the meeting. I kind of assume that it would look like a LLL meeting. Huh.

Just to be clear I'm not going to form any opinion about any single mother by choice from that brief clip of that one group- but does anyone have any experience with the group? Are they child friendly? Do they support nursing single mothers? I was just curious because I would have expected a much more child friendly scene with babes in arms etc. Is the group really all about finding and financing sperm donors- and beyond birth you are not only single- you are alone?

Love Sarah

You may have seen a group that is specifically for women CONSIDERING becoming a SMBC. I do know that SMC has meetings and sub-groups specifically for that audience. In which case, they wouldn't have children yet, would they?

[m9m9m9]

Interestingly, I just stumbled on this thread... but I am a SMC and yes we do bring children to meetings ... however, most SMC local organziations have 2 groups of people who meet: thinkers/tryers and parents. The group you saw would be the "thinkers/tryers" meaning they are considering the process or in the process of TTC or adopt therefore they would not have children. The belief of splitting the groups seems to be that the meetings would be more focused on the concerns of those attending. There was no restriction however on those without children attending meetings for parents or vice versa.

As far as nursing, there was nothing specifically that was ever mentioned at any meetings I attended for or against. I believe that as a whole the feeling would be breastfeeding is best. I never attended a meeting as a parent bc I didn't find the local group in my area to be a good fit for me.

Hope this helps!

Maggie

[Sarah]

Maggie- Thanks for replying. I'm glad to get clarification that the meetings often fall into two zones of support before and after the baby. I guess it still does not make sense to me entirely because I'd think that the tryers and thinkers would get the best support from the moms who have been there and done that... but I'm sure that they have figured that all out and I hope that everyone is going to be getting the help, support and info that they need.

Love Sarah

[m9m9m9]

Sarah - -

Actually, I agree that it was odd. I was suprised in fact about such a division. Once someone mentioned the reason was bc some of the single moms were having a hard time TTC and seeing babies would upset them?

The reason I stopped going in fact was because they seemed unhappy about a small baby being there. I took my DD when she was 3 months old to one meeting and she started to fuss, not scream or anything, but just making baby noises and crying a little. First, several woman looked at smiled but the second time it happened they gave me a look that was like "can't you get your child to stop?" Apparently, my DD was interupting their individual introductions about their efforts to TTC and pregnancy! To me, that just seemed ridiculous so I never went back.

Maggie