"outside" bathrooming?

[bugmenot]

Here's the situation:

I live in a rural area, but have neighbors. Far enough that we have enough privacy to have outdoor parties without alarming the neighbors, but near enough that if we need something, the neighbors can help out.

Anyway, I was watching their 9 y/o son while his parents were out at dinner. We were playing outside with the frisbee, and he said he had to urinate. I was uncomfortable with him "going" outside, but eventually caved. He said the house was too far away and that his parents let him do that with their approval when he asked.

Hopefully I did the right thing (i'd rather have him urinate on a tree) than in his pants. Obviously, I didn't look, but he said he could do it without making a display. (Good thing I didn't ask what he meant by that.) I turned my back and told him to tell me when he was done.

What do you all do in this situation? Let them go, or attempt to make it to a toilet? (Obviously, there are a few situations when there's no way on Earth you'll make it in time...)

[mamaofthree]

I see no problem with it at all. But maybe that is because my boys all pee outside (including DH). We have a one bathroom house and 6 people living in it. Luckily most are males. (We even live in town)
I just remind the boys that when we are out that they must pee in the bathroom. And if they forget, oh well. I don't see it as a problem at all. One of the cool things about being able to pee standing up if you ask me.
I guess our one rule of peeing outside is to pee on a tree and not in the grass.

H

[hottmama]

I don't mind my 3.5 yr. old peeing outside at all. He pees in our (fenced-in) backyard all the time, on trees at the park (the bathroom is too far from the playground for any toddler to make it), and sometimes in alleys/on trees if we're on a walk. And we live in a big city.

[Shenandoah]

I also live in a rural area. My 3.5 yo daughter pees outside all the time. If the boy had asked me I would have told him to go pee on the side of the shed. It keeps the foxes from digging in and making holes there.

[maizy]

Thats funny! I'm not keen on peeing outside but my husband says every man in Texas does, (just moved here 2 mo. ago) and the 3 year old is really into peeing outside. The neighbors would REALLY have to be to trying if they saw and then I figure they were being to too nosey anyway.
I do however hope there is an age where thae appeal of outdoor urination would wean... (DH is 36 still pees outside...)
I'm thinking 9-10 is old enough to not and while at someone elses place certainly not. But I'll cross that when I get there.
Good luck

[Moochie Mamma]

DS pees outside all the time, as do his friends. We're not in a rural area by any means so I've told him he's way too old to pee in the front yard where strangers may be driving by.

When he was 2 we let him be naked all summer and this is basically how he got out of diapers- by peeing on the grass when he needed to. We always told him it was OK. One day that summer we were at a fair/carnival and we were standing around chatting with some friends we had run into when I look down and see DS had whipped it out and was peeing right there in the middle of the crowd. "well it's grass mommy!"

[Marsupialmom]

If there is no way to make it to a potty then let them go outside...but other than that I would stay away from it. Kids have a hard time knowing when it is appropriate. This can set them up to have issues and get into trouble.

I have several friends kids get introuble at school and in a park because they used a tree

[boongirl]

On his own private property or camping, I would go outdoors. In a city, I would be aware of the laws. That is illegal in Seattle. But, of course, toilet training a little one can mean that you need to use a bush now and then. I think the cops would be lax about that.

[mommy68]

I think it can be very gross if it's normal practice for a parent to allow their child (toddlers especially) to go potty out in the yard in plain view. I can't stand that type of thing, especially in areas where houses are very close together and you can see them. EX: I passed a house in a very busy neigbhorhood one afternoon and a 2 yr oldish boy was in the front yard pee'ing right by the street while his mother sat on the porch and watched him laughing. It was gross IMO. He was at home and could go inside and use the potty like everyone else IMO. It was nasty because there were people out in their yards, driving by, and school buses going past as it's near a school.

If it's a once in a while thing then whatever.

The only time I see fit to potty outdoors is when we go hiking or camping (in the woods) and we do that a lot so certain times of the year it has to be okay or else we don't make it to a bathroom for hours at times and my kids just can't wait. That's the only time they do it and we're always in the woods anyway.

[mamaofthree]

Geeze you guys. It is just a kid peeing outside. In fact urine is great for plants. (There actually a few books on it). I guess I will just be the only one here who doesn't see it as a problem. Whatever. :

H

[twilight girl]

mommy68, don't go to Europe! :

Anyhoo, I don't think there is anything at all wrong with a child peeing outside when necessity strikes. There are lots of things that we allow children to do that we will correct as they get old enough to deal with it. Far more humiliating would be to not let the boy pee and cause him to pee in his pants.

We live in Costa Rica, and when we travel the bathrooms can be few and very far between. DD (4 y.o. today!) will tell us when we're in the car "I need to pee-pee in the grass!" Heck, we had to let her do that when were in Oklahoma last week, because there IS NOWHERE else to go.

There are not always clean restrooms along the highway in our lives. So, do what you've got to do

Judi

[Marsupialmom]

Originally Posted by mamaofthree

Geeze you guys. It is just a kid peeing outside. In fact urine is great for plants. (There actually a few books on it). I guess I will just be the only one here who doesn't see it as a problem. Whatever. :

H

It isn't that I see it as bad but schools, play areas, and police can. I try not to send a confusing message to my kids, esspeically ones that are too young to know the difference.

[mamaofthree]

I don't think it is that hard to teach kids where it is ok and not ok to pee outside. You just say... "We only pee in our backyard" It may take a couple reminders but so what.
H

[stiles' mummy]

Some good points here mommas. However, I'm in the camp that it's NOT okay to urinate outdoors. Not unless you absolutely cannot get to a bathroom (you're on a long drive in the wilderness, camping in the middle of no where, etc.) I think it can also send mixed signals. My MIL watches my son 2 days a week whilst I work, 3 or 4 times she has taken him out on a walk to the park and has forgotten to remind him to use the potty before he leaves her house. So, she lets him pee and one time actually defecate in the park. I was furious when I found out. First of all, there is a community centre in the park which has bathrooms, and second, it's teaching him that this is acceptable behaviour. Yes, a 2, 3 or even 4 year old can get away with it, but then you see 9 and 10 year olds doing it, which is very wrong in my opinion. Several times whilst at the park together, my ds will say to me "mommy, there is where I went pee-pee or I went poo-poo under the bush". : He has excellent bladder control. MIL could have walked to the community centre so that my son can use the facilities there. So now, I have a hard time explaining why it is not proper to pee and poo in public outdoor places!

[LynnS6]

Originally Posted by Marsupialmom

It isn't that I see it as bad but schools, play areas, and police can. I try not to send a confusing message to my kids, esspeically ones that are too young to know the difference.

Most kids are pretty smart. They can learn the difference in about a minute! "We can pee in the woods because we won't be peeing where anyone is walking. But here in the park we need to use a bathroom."

I'm OK with it, especially in the OPs situation. Who the heck cares?

[Village Mama]

My boys pee outside all of the time... it was thier whole motivation for potty training! Really though... there are very few public washrooms around that you can use without buying anything. When we are in the backyard I let the boys pee in the wooded corner. I remind them to give themselves privacy.When we go into town we sometimes have to find a quiet back alley to go.... same with at the playground. The washrooms are rarely unlocked.... never unlocked in the spring winter and fall.Sometimes my 2 year old has his pants down and is ready to go before I even get a chance to notice.Mostly though I just apologise If anyone ends up in our direction. My almost 5 year old would rather find a washroom now (except when we are in our backyard or in the woods)I remember my first son peeing in full view on the front lawn... a really posh real estate agent drove by and I gave her an embarrased look. On the way back she rolled down her window (I was expecting a nasty comment) and she giggled and said " well at least you dont have to pay big bucks for one of those cute statues!"

[Village Mama]

Just wanted to add that my dad always loved to pee outside for some reason. I have caught my neighbours taking a quick leak outside in the early morning. They are in thier late 20s. The one stumbles out all sleepy every morning to go outside.... seems to enjoy the early morning nature! My kitchen window where I chop veggies and stuff just happens to overlook thier yard. Kind of funny! I will tease him about it one day.... I am sure that he doesnt have a clue. I really dont care though... I grew up with boys and live in a household of them myself!

[Astoria]

I think it's completely fine to pee outside. Totally. I teach the kids to always pee on a tree so that its not gonna get stepped on and to be discrete (don't show your bottom to the road) but other than that, no problem.

DS1 did get yelled at once. DS2 was finally, after 25 minutes of missed-nap crankiness, strapped into the carseat when DD1 had to pee (he was potty-training so it felt like an emergency). No way I was going to unstrap DS2, go back to the school, and do it all over again. So he peed on a tree close to the fence far from his school and no one was around. A teacher's aid leaned out the window and screamed at him. It really made me so mad at the school.

Yell at me! I'm obviously the one who let him. I'm standing right there. Don't yell at the almost 4 year old who sucessfully didn't pee his pants for a change.

But, heck, I'm a lot more relaxed about a *lot* of things then most people.

[Fiercemama]

Aaaaah, "le peepee rustique" as I think Peter Mayle called it.

I was actually glad when DD finally had the nerve to pee outside. Having a nervous bladder (like DH) was a pita. Then we went through a short phase when it was ALWAYS an "emergency". OK, being in the back yard is NOT an emergency! DD did a dump in the back yard one time last summer - ick! But once she saw it covered in flies, and everyone present had expressed their disgust, it stopped.

The other night, DD had to pee really badly. After going about a month with no accidents, she's had a really hard time this week. We're getting our first spell of really hot weather, and I think she just has to go more often. The bathroom at the park was waaaay off, and my bike was not really properly locked up, we had tons of bags with us. I chose what I thought was a discreet spot behind a tree. Well, apparently someone else had the same thought, because DD ended up stepping all through someone else's outdoor dump! EWWWW!

[Village Mama]

gross!

well I spoke too soon about our outdoor pottying being no big deal. I went to grb somthing out of my stroller. I heard my 2 year old shout that he had to pee... I turned my head while he was saying it to see him standing on top of a statue outside the museum with his pants down around his ankles, already mid pee! I guess I will be working on the "looking for a bathroom first" thing!