Thoughts/actions that helped you most during your labor?

[nmm2112]

What thought or actions helped you the most during your labor?

My DS and DD were induced and I had epidurals and I really, really want a natural birth and to go into labor on my own. I am a bit nervous about how natural labor will feel but I've been reading my birthing books and trying to surround my self with only positive labor thoughts but I also want to prepare myself and be realistic...

What helped you the most during labor?

PS it's too late for me to get a doula so if she was your biggest help what was it about her that helped (ex something my husband might be able to do? or midwife?)

Any and all tips appreciated!

[erin_brycesmom]

PS it's too late for me to get a doula

It is never too late to get a doula. I know that sometimes people can't afford one or can't find one, but you should be able to hire one at any point. I hired one well into my 3rd trimester and my doula said she has had people hire her even further along.

My doula was the one who helped me find the action to relieve my pain so I will describe it. Anyone could have done this as long as they had the eye to see what was going on (although my doula did much more than just this so she was totally invaluable to me). She watched me during my contractions and saw that I was tensing up my shoulders and my face (especially my forehead). Each time the contraction would come on, if I started to tense up she would gently remind me to relax my shoulders and face. Eventually the words weren't enough and she would press gently on my shoulders and as soon as I felt her I would release the tension. I seriously needed her to do this every single time. But each time as soon as I was able to release the tension in my shoulders the pain would go way down. It was like my body would tense up and try to fight the contractions but with her help I would let go and let my body work. Yes I still felt pain but when I didn't fight the pain it really wasn't that bad. The pain that I did feel was tolerable and in a way pleasureable. I felt a real connection to what was going on.

HTH!

~Erin

[courtenay_e]

Ummm. I'm a doula. It's never too late to get a doula. Besides that, practice, practice, practice relaxation. Practice it standing, leaning, squatting, dancing, on the birth ball, in the tub, in the shower, on your hands and knees. Practice some more when you're done. Then plan to use the tub (worth 500cc's of demerol without the drugs) and the shower (worth 50 cc's of demerol without the drugs). These are invaluable tools. Relaxation, visualizing the baby moving down against (and eventually through) the cervix and the cervix opening, and water were what worked for me.

[courtenay_e]

Yes, even if you can't afford one, there may be one in the area who is willing to take you for certification purposes, just because she loves to attend births, or because she works on a grant basis. You'll never know until you try. I take a "free" birth every quarter. I never have to look for one, and I frequently will refer women looking for a free birth to a friend or two of mine who do the same, or who are certifying and looking to be done sooner!

[Snowdrift]

Good lower back massage and counterpressure. I had back labor though, which is probably why it was so important for me. That and constant reassurance that everything was going ok, that normal can vary tremendously and still be safe. Maybe this more important for me since it was my first time and I had a very drawn-out active labor (started having signs of transition at 5 am, didn't birth til 5 pm), but knowing everything was ok wasn't enough--I needed the verbal reinforcement.

I agree with pp's, it should still be possible to get a doula or someone who can act as one. I homebirthed, but my midwife's two apprentices acted as doulas and that really made the difference.

[XanaduMama]

I didn't have a doula but now wish that I'd had one. Failing this, though, the most important thing was being TALKED THROUGH EACH CONTRACTION. I was lucky to have a short labor, but it was seriously intense and very painful (pitocin!), and I almost lost it several times as contractions peaked. It was hard not to get hysterical or panic--what kept me going was my husband's and the CNM's soothing voice telling me I was doing great, to stay with them, stay on top of it, focus, that the contraction was 1/2 way over, to breathe, to keep my moaning (screaming... ) low-pitched, etc. It didn't really matter what they said--just that it was something to hold onto when things got really bad. And to help you keep perspective: one contrax at a time, and that the whole experience would be over eventually.

So I would say have your birth partner practice some of these phrases, or write them down, or whatever s/he needs to do--it's so important that they stay calm and remember some of these strategies, because believe me: you won't! I felt like months of preparation just disappeared from my laboring brain, the relaxation techniques didn't work much except at the beginning (though I do think they worked subconsciously), and it was impossible for me to ask for or suggest anything. It's also important to have them be prepared to be your advocates, to know what you want and stand up for it if necessary--like I said, I was unable to ask for anything once transition and pushing hit.

Walking/swaying, a hot bath, and rhythmic moaning/yelling definitely helped too. And the cool wet cloth the CNM (who was effectively a nurse in the hospital--an OB was attending) put on my forehead while I was going scarlet from pushing was possibly the best thing anyone did for me the whole time: amazing how empowering a thoughtful gesture like that can be.

Good luck! You can do it.

[butterflyma]

The number one thought/mindset that I had that helped me in my labor was that, "Labor is supposed to hurt. The pain means my body is birthing my child." I really focused on what I imagined the pain was doing (spreading my pelvis, dilating my cervix, etc) and tried to just go with it.

In my state/county there is a number you can call to get reccomendations for a doula- with specific questions like, "will she work for free?" Maybe you could check in FYT to see if any local mamas know of such a thing in your area.

Happy birthing Mama!

[Skrimpy]

I think what helped me the most through my labors was just hearing my dh say that I was doing a great job and that he loved me.

with my last birth I imagined waves rushing through each contraction and myself opening more with each wave, like a beautiful sea cave being revealed by the waves. I also pictured flowers and other openings. I think that the visualizations helped me -- what helped those was taking a little time each day to focus on that visualization, so that it came to me naturally and vividly during labor and birth.

[JennyClaire]

exception to the doula recommendations

Originally Posted by Skrimpy

I imagined waves rushing through each contraction and myself opening more with each wave, like a beautiful sea cave being revealed by the waves. I also pictured flowers and other openings. I think that the visualizations helped me

Along these same lines for me with my 2nd baby. Knowing that the pain was productive (which I'd been clueless about with my 1st baby) was the biggest help. Taking a shower while trying to embrace the pain, telling myself I was "opening like a flower" actually decreased the sensation of pain into something else (still present, but less "painful.")

I am an exception to the doula recommendations. During my labors, I felt like an animal who wanted to birth alone (both times) and found verbal and physical "help" during labor to increase my sensations of pain.

I had a doula for my 1st birth, but not my second, and I don't want one if I have another child. For my next birth, I will probably just have DH. I am always amazed that people find doulas so helpful. But I am probably the exception here, so do what YOU feel most comfortable with!

Best of luck!

[manhattanmama]

Things that helped

Things that helped me cope:

--Hotwater bottle for my lower back (that was so helpful!)

--Warm baths

--Telling myself to let go and be a rag doll with each surge

--Telling myself to let myself to let my shoulders go and relax my face with each surge

--Imagine with each surge that you're even more pregnant, really letting your stomach go. Imagine that your 11 mths pregnant.

[grace's voice]

For me the #1 thing was LETTING GO, surrendering to the waves of contractions, accepting the process.

~Knowing what it was, exactly, that I was feeling/experiencing

~the birth tub

~low, low moaning (I did need my doula to remind me to stay low many times)

~cold clothes on my face and shoulders

~going limp with contractions

~breathing deep, making sure to take a huge breath as I felt each contraction coming on (helped me to stay 'on top' of the contraction)

~staying well hydrated, drinking after every contraction

~lavender oil

~having someone right in front of/next to me, I feaked out if I didn't have someone right there during a contraction

[littleteapot]

As I got toward 36 hours of labour, been awake for 45 hours, hadn't eaten... one of the thoughts I kept repeating to myself to get me through was, "I can do this right now. I am doing this right now."

STOP thinking about your labour as only either how much has elapsed or how far you have to go. All that matters is that you can do this RIGHT NOW, and you ARE doing it right now. Just take it one contraction at a time.

I also had a visualization in my head about water travelling down a spout as the contraction peaked, and then it hits a bend and starts to slow down as my contraction ebbs. If I focused hard on this, I could "ride" the pain down the spout and move with it instead of resisting it.

[Peppamint]

*Moving helped me so much, if I wasn't in the birthing tub I *had* to be moving around. I just hugged my belly during each contraction and concentrated on breathing through the contraction. Take it one contraction at a time.

*Laboring/birthing in the water is awesome too, not sure if you have that option though.


I was induced with my first baby and the next two were not inductions- there is no comparison. Pitocin labor is much harder, so keep that in mind!

[veggiekicks]

My midwife observed that it took me 20-30 sec. with each contraction to 'get on top of it' and let go, so with each contraction she would talk me through the first 30 sec... okay, you've got 20 more sec...15...10... I knew I could handle x-amount of seconds when it was broken down like that for me.

I also found moaning to be a wonderful release... with each ctx., I would OoooooMmmmm. It helped me stay loose, and also gave me something to do.

[MamaTaraX]

Chiming in to say its never too late. I met one couple on a Tuesday, they had their baby the following Wednesday
more later, w/examples

Namaste, Tara

[2+twins]

Things that helped me:

* Being in my own space

* Being in the birth tub (helped a LOT)

* Being left alone (couldn't tolerate touch or talking)

* Repeating this mantra in my head: "You can do this. Your body was made for this. You can stand anything for 90 seconds."

* Allowing it to hurt and to just go with it - knowing that sometimes you have to let it hurt more to get to the end (this was the case with my last birth - I recognized that I was holding back and once I let go the baby was born).

[LittleLlama]

I'm getting a little heavy-lidded right now, so I'm not reading the other replies, I'm not sure if I'm adding any new info.

My son's birth was in a hospital and I too wanted a doula but couldn't afford one. Going into the whole thing I had decided I did not want any medication and all the staff attending to me knew that. All I had was an IV of fluids. Really, I think the decision not to and telling people, like my husband, was the biggest help because at one point I turned to my husband and told him it hurt too much and "I want an epidural" and his response was to wipe the sweat of my face and say ever so sweetly "No you don't, you're doing so good." Notice I never told the nurse that though!

As far as what to expect for pain, there were probably two contractions that were off the charts for pain and that was the time of full effacetment and dialation... after that it was just work, not pain, work. (Not too bad for a 10 hour event)

I didn't really plan on this, but the nurses kept commenting how calm I was between contractions and at times I was nearly asleep. It was just a matter of enjoying the moment of peace and dealing with the contractions as they came.

The pushing part was not painful at all. It was hard like lifting weights. Here I've done so many hours worth of "reps" and now I have to push!? For that, I think the best thing for me was having a husband who never let go of my hand and a L&D nurse who had been so sweet and soft-spoken during contractions and was now this aggressive little firecracker telling me to push longer/harder/like I meant it. (Turns out she'd had 3 natural births herself). One thing I had always imagined during childbirth was that my husband would be softly stroking my arms the way he does that I love so much, well, while I was in labor, I HATED the soft touches. The L&D nurse would be patting and rubbing my legs really hard and it felt great so I had DH do what she did.

Aside from support, just expect that on occasion you will be in pain and that pain WILL END. And put your chin to your chest when you push

[doula and mom]

: it's never too late to get a doula. I met a client 3 days before her due date; she went into labor less than a week after we met. So unless you feel that labor is imminent RIGHT THIS SECOND, you can still find a doula, if that's what you want.

With my first labor: having a doula to hold the stupid EFM on (twins in a hospital setting), standing up, closing my eyes, breathing deeply. But seriously the doula thing -- she didn't even really DO anything, but just having her there was so comforting, it helped me relax.

With my second labor: visualizing a place where I felt calm. I actually pictured my grandmother's kitchen. I tried to focus on every detail of that kitchen and it really helped.

After attending births, I plan to have a mantra for my next birth, something like, "I.Can.Do.This." and the low moaning thing. Also, having a doula to remind me to keep my entire body relaxed, like a rag doll.

[Aura_Kitten]

through both: praying, chanting.

through my son's labor: swaying my hips, rocking, swinging my arms, focusing on the sensation of the blanket under my palms as i leaned over the bed and rocked my hips during contractions.

through my daughter's labor: chanting, vocalizing, and hot water! she was almost a waterbirth i didn't really have much time to deal with it. mostly ~ praying, chanting. and tuning into my body, just letting everything Flow, really tapping my mama intuition.

[Seie]

One of the things that helped me the most was a midwife saying the exact phrase : Breath all the way down to where the pain is" - I did as she told me and it really helped. Even though I was already breathing deeply then this particular way of putting it really helped me deal with the most intense of contractions.

My second labor I was all alone right up untill pushing and what helped me the most was to yell out loud through each contraction (never did this during my first birth because there were people around me and I was in hospital so it didnt feel ok to shout like that. But when I was all alone in my own home there were no restrictions - I just did what felt necessary and yelling somehow helped me "move" the pain out.