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Do We Include Pro-SAHMers Here? Yes/No

post #1 of 29
Thread Starter 
The brainstorming was great. I see two groups here

Pro-SAHMers
They believe SAHMing is ideal. They say things like, "Be a SAHM. It is great! It's benefits are _____." Their fault is: Some of them bash WOHMs-by-choice, "Why even have kids if all you care about is money? You dump off your kids..."

Moms-For-Equality
They believe SAHMing is not generally ideal. It is best for some, and not for other families. Each family decides for themselves what is best for them. Their fault is: Some of them flame all Pro-SAHM statements, even the ones that are not bashing WOHMs.

Questions
Do you want to include Pro-SAHMers on this forum? I think that this can be done if we consentrate on improving our faults.

Or

Do you want this to be a Moms-For-Equality Only board? Pro-SAHMers can post, but can't reveal their Pro-SAHMing beliefs. They must use language that does not contradict the Moms-For-Equality view. This should be added in the sticky.
post #2 of 29
I am Pro-SAHM, and I will post here regardless of who this forum is "supposed" to be for. However, I will make sure the language I use is not offensive to anyone.
post #3 of 29
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by RedWine
I am Pro-SAHM, and I will post here regardless of who this forum is "supposed" to be for. However, I will make sure the language I use is not offensive to anyone.
I am not sure what you mean. Do you mean you will not contradict the Moms-for-Equality view? Or do you mean you will express your Pro-SAHMing views without bashing WOHMs-by choice?

Do you think the way to solve our problems is to become a Moms-for-Equality board, or work on tolerating both viewpoints?
post #4 of 29
Quote:
Originally Posted by CinnamonDeMarco
The brainstorming was great. I see two groups here

Pro-SAHMers
They believe SAHMing is ideal. They say things like, "Be a SAHM. It is great! It's benefits are _____." Their fault is: Some of them bash WOHMs-by-choice, "Why even have kids if all you care about is money? You dump off your kids..."

Moms-For-Equality
They believe SAHMing is not generally ideal. It is best for some, and not for other families. Each family decides for themselves what is best for them. Their fault is: Some of them flame all Pro-SAHM statements, even the ones that are not bashing WOHMs.

Questions
Do you want to include Pro-SAHMers on this forum? I think that this can be done if we consentrate on improving our faults.

Or

Do you want this to be a Moms-For-Equality Only board? Pro-SAHMers can post, but can't reveal their Pro-SAHMing beliefs. They must use language that does not contradict the Moms-For-Equality view. This should be added in the sticky.
I think I am not understanding something here. I am a lurker and sometimes poster on this forum and have read the threads about this issue and I still don't get it.

Why in the world would there be a SAHM forum if it wasn't for Pro-sahm's to post on? It should be for pro-sahm's, wanna be sahm's or anyone interested at all in sahm'ing. Not people who are coming over to bash it. So, the idea is to have a sahm forum, but not let actual SAHMs post on it because they might hurt someone's feelings? Am I the only one that doesn't get this line of thinking?!
post #5 of 29
Quote:
Originally Posted by Twocoolboys
So, the idea is to have a sahm forum, but not let actual SAHMs post on it because they might hurt someone's feelings? Am I the only one that doesn't get this line of thinking?!
I don't get it either!

I think on ANY forum everyone should try to word their posts in such a way as to avoid offending others.
post #6 of 29
I dont get it either.
post #7 of 29
Quote:
Originally Posted by pianojazzgirl
I think on ANY forum everyone should try to word their posts in such a way as to avoid offending others.
I second that!
post #8 of 29
Thread Starter 
We do have some SAHMs who do not think it is ideal. They think it best for their family. If someone else decides it is not the best for their family - so be it. They don't believe in the generalization "SAHMing is ideal."

Imagine this was a Moms-for-Equality forum

When someone posts, "I'm pregnant. I could be a SAHM but I am worried I'll be bored and miss my friends. What should I do?" This would be an appriate response "Well that's a personal decision. I am sure you will make the choice for you. When I was considering becoming a SAHM I thought about these issues ___________. I choose SAHMing because___________. I respect all the mothers who choose to work, for whatever reasons."

We should not say, "Do it! It is the best thing you can do for your baby! You will get to nurture your baby every step of the way, nurse on demand, create precious memories...."
post #9 of 29
Okay. I do believe SAHM is ideal. But it is not for everyone, nor should I think it so.
post #10 of 29
Quote:
Originally Posted by pianojazzgirl

I think on ANY forum everyone should try to word their posts in such a way as to avoid offending others.
post #11 of 29
Quote:
Originally Posted by CinnamonDeMarco
We should not say, "Do it! It is the best thing you can do for your baby! You will get to nurture your baby every step of the way, nurse on demand, create precious memories...."

why would you not say that when that IS the truth?
post #12 of 29
Thread Starter 

answer the question please

Focus people. Answer the question-

Do you want to include pro-SAHMers OR Do you want a Moms-for-Equality board?

An answer is "Include Pro-SAHMers." or "I want a "Moms-for-Equality Board"
This is also acceptable"There is another option I want to suggest ____" OR "The question doesn't make sense to me."

If the question doesn't make sense please explain that so I can clearify it.
post #13 of 29
Okay, saying that Moms for equality are thinking that SAHM isn't generally ideal.... that isn't necessarily true.

I am a mother for equality and, while I believe SAH is the best choice, that doesn't mean it is for everyone. I think it is an ideal situation if you can handle it. Again, there are different personalities in this world who love their children with every fiber of their being, but are simply not able to handle their kids 24/7. What is wrong with that? Nothing.

We evolved as a tribal group. There used to be several mothers with children the same age living in one area. Now we are separated by our own wishes in suburbia, with fences, doors... some of us don't even know our neighbors and have lived next door to them for three years (me!!!).

To expect every single woman on this board to be so enamored with sah is just a gross misconception.
post #14 of 29
I want both. There.
post #15 of 29
Thread Starter 
Thank you BlueNote. She has answered the question by saying she wants both Pro-SAHMs and Moms-for-Equality on this forum.
post #16 of 29
No problem. Always here to serve.
post #17 of 29
Quote:
Originally Posted by CinnamonDeMarco
We do have some SAHMs who do not think it is ideal. They think it best for their family. If someone else decides it is not the best for their family - so be it. They don't believe in the generalization "SAHMing is ideal."

Imagine this was a Moms-for-Equality forum

When someone posts, "I'm pregnant. I could be a SAHM but I am worried I'll be bored and miss my friends. What should I do?" This would be an appriate response "Well that's a personal decision. I am sure you will make the choice for you. When I was considering becoming a SAHM I thought about these issues ___________. I choose SAHMing because___________. I respect all the mothers who choose to work, for whatever reasons."

We should not say, "Do it! It is the best thing you can do for your baby! You will get to nurture your baby every step of the way, nurse on demand, create precious memories...."
I think anyone pg who is considering being a SAHM would only post on this board if they expect to get support and encouragement to be a SAHM. If they are looking for something else, they should not post here. It IS the SAHM forum. They should not expect to get encouragement to be a working mom. Or validation for choosing to be a working mom if that is what they choose.

I say lets keep this board about SAHMs and full of support for SAHMs.
post #18 of 29
It's kind of making me sad that we even have to have a thread like this. I would hope that a SAHM forum could encompass many different views of what it means to be a SAHM. How does one grow if there aren't any dissenting opinions? Why wouldn't we want to include ALL SAH parents, regardless of whether they view SAHing as the ideal or as the right choice for their family? I guess I'm not getting it either.
post #19 of 29
[QUOTE=CinnamonDeMarco]Focus people. Answer the question-

Do you want to include pro-SAHMers OR Do you want a Moms-for-Equality board?

[QUOTE]
First i must ask this pressing question. Are you the Mod for this forum? Have you been tapped by Peggy?

MDC is for everyone. There isn't a forum here that excludes. I have posted in every single forum. The circ forum (and my boys are circ's, but i had a question for Frank about doing a cath on intact babies, so I went there). Mmy kids are fully vaxed, but I had a question about Hep B, because of my job they encourage it, so I went to the vax forum and asked around and did some lurking. I wanted to homeschool so I started a thread there, even though my kids have gone to public and private schools. I posted in the queer parenting forum because a thread caught my eye, and I am "straight". I will support a mama in the single parents forum if her post speaks to my heart and I am married. I could go on and on, but never has anyone told me: You're straight! you cant post here! or You're married, you cant post in the single parent forum! Or your a right winger and aren't welcome in the politics forum (or whatever its called now). Ever. And many of my views are vastly different than most here. But never have I ever in all the three years I have been a member at MDC seen such divisive, demeaning pot stirring crap as I have seen lately in this forum.
post #20 of 29
I guess I don't understand why the question is even being asked.
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