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Death of Dog  

post #1 of 8
5/27/06 at 4:40pm
Thread Starter 
Our dog died this morning and our son didnt take it well. I know this sounds awful but myself huspand and 17 yo didnt like the dog that much and none of us are awfully sad to see it go. Our 8 yo however loved the dog deeply and has been crying non stop. I have no idea how we can alievate the pain he is feeling. Any suggestions?
post #2 of 8
5/27/06 at 6:45pm
ooooh1 I feel for your DS! When my dog died I cried for 2 days, and I was 21! I guess I would advise NOT trying to over comfort him, or "make him feel better" yet. He needs to grieve his loss and make hi own peace with it. Being 8 he may want his space, but I would offer sympathy and let him know it is ok to feel sad and cry as much as he needs to. Is he a cuddly kid? Lots of hugs may help. Poor guy. What a loss. In a day or two he may be ready to start moving on, but some kids take longer. When he seems up to it you could have him help plan some sort of memorial celebration. Even if nobody liked the dog but him I am sure you all could think of SOMETHING nice to say for his benefit. When our classroom pets died this type of closure was REALLY important to my 7 and 8 year olds.

Sorry for the ramble, I hope some of this is helpful.
post #3 of 8
5/27/06 at 7:54pm
No ideas but I'm subbing to this thread. We recently found out that our 13 year old cat has terminal cancer. I've had him since he was a kitten and I was in college!!! I'm worried about how my 5 year old will handle it but I'm glad that we'll have time to prepare her.
post #4 of 8
5/27/06 at 8:44pm
:
post #5 of 8
5/27/06 at 8:49pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by MomToKandE
No ideas but I'm subbing to this thread. We recently found out that our 13 year old cat has terminal cancer. I've had him since he was a kitten and I was in college!!! I'm worried about how my 5 year old will handle it but I'm glad that we'll have time to prepare her.
We've always been rewally open w/ our ds (3) about death. His papa (grandfather) died of cancer right after he was born and he sees those pictures and we've always explained it to him. Of course, kids "grasp" the actual DEATH thing differently at different ages, but they do "get it". My springer is 13 and we hope to have him aroundfor a long while... but at the same time we do talk to ds about Ryley "getting older" and that we don't live forever. Everything that breathes will die sooner or later. He DiD put it together enough to ask when his grammylill would die (zoykes!), since she's so old and we simply told him that we hoped she didn't die anytime soon but that, because she is older we treat her even more special so that we can get the most of her while she's here and so that she can get the most of us too. Our rabbit died last summer and it was tangible for him. he could see her being dead and that upset him (he was just 2.5). But he held her a last time and we all cried and we buried her. after that initial emotional outburst he was okay. Sometimes he will want to look at pictures of her and we do. Sometimes he mentions to our new bunny that we use to have another bunny but she died.

Kids get more than we think... I think the hardest part is being the parent and not being able to control / stop their grief.
post #6 of 8
5/27/06 at 9:02pm
I agree about just letting him grieve. You can't stop his feelings, even if you didn't care alot for the dog, doesn't mean that he didn't.

Our 4 yo was sad when one of our dogs died several months ago, but I think she only cried once, probably b/c I was. She understands he's not coming back, she always mentions him when anyone is talking about pets. Our dalmation is now getting close to the end, so we'll be losing both dogs this year. I think she might be a bit sadder about Chandra dying, but we'll see. Chandra's gotten more attention since the other dog died so I think Payton has gotten more used to her.

I was not very close to our dog that passed away, I've never been close to either dogs really, I'm more of a cat person, but I'm also a crier, and am generally sad when anyone/thing passes away. I think I'll have a harder time with our dalmation dies.
post #7 of 8
5/28/06 at 3:42am
Let him grieve and be there to listen to his feelings. Help him make a scrapbook about the dog.

My dd needed to cry and talk about our cat a lot for quite some time. I did a lot of listening and holding. She chose a couple of pictures to put in her room and we have a small photo album as well. I helped her write letters to our cat telling how much she missed it.

http://www.reginahs.ca/reginahs?pageid=97
http://www.petloss.com/muns.htm
post #8 of 8
5/28/06 at 10:06am
I agree with many of the pps...let him grieve. Expect him to cry a lot and let him know that its totally fine to do so. I also agree with zombiecat. I scrapbook and some special pics in frames can help bring closure. If you feel like its appropriate, hold some kind of memorial service...basically just to give DS a chance to say goodbye. We have also done things like lighting a candle daily and talking about all the fun things our cat did. (Can you tell I'm a total animal freak...when our cat died recently I was depressed for weeks. )

Give your little guy a hug
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