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Leaving kids in car unattended for just a minute...how bad is it? - Page 7

post #121 of 164
As much as I despise hot weather, I would not sacrifice buying groceries at the store just because it was >100 degrees out. I did stay in my house on Sunday when it was ~90 degrees and 90% humidity here given my heat intolerance (while pg). Thankfully, it broke the next day to 82 with lower humidity. I am unable to choose that option when it is gets down to -15 or -25 degrees here, because that generally lasts for 2-4 days at a time before it gets nice and toasty ... up to -10 degrees

I think that those of us in cold states should understand that everyone has weather that they would prefer not to have. For us in colder states, it may be more likely that we could leave a child in the car without the risk of overheating a child.

However, in Madison, WI (not a huge crime-ridden city, but a city nevertheless), I personally haven't observed children in cars without parents, though. That may mean that people are sticking to the 1 minute or less rule, or that they aren't doing it. Regardless, 1 minute or less seems like an acceptable rule to me (that would rule out buying anything for me, b/c I get distracted, but would allow drop off at a slot at the library or video store if less than a 10 foot walk)

Just my opinion,
Erin
post #122 of 164
ok, so a grocery service doesn't deliver to your 'hot state' but we're not talking here about doing a grocery shop, or going to the gym for a workout, or going to work for the day, we're talking about stepping mere feet away from your vehicle--often fewer feet than would be involved in taking them out of their carseat!!!!!!! (holy crap can I emphasize that enough!!!!)

By the sounds of it, the VERY WORST CASE is that during that trip from drivers door to passenger door, someone carjacks your car with your kid in it. Of course, the very worst case of walking to the park is that a stampede of wild elephants will get loose and trample you while you innocently walk to the park...yep, no danger there!!!!!!!! The elephants are BY FAR the most likely scenario!!
post #123 of 164
Thread Starter 
Addressing the "lazy" accusation...everytime I've left my kids in the car its been because dd is asleep. We drive ds to and from preschool every other day and she often falls asleep in the car. Its not laziness, its feeling terrible about having to wake dd AGAIN...the rest of her day is usually terrible if I don't let her get her sleep. She doesn't *transfer* sleeping and she won't go back down for a nap if she's had a short one.
post #124 of 164
I want to apologize however to everyone whom I offended, I re-read some of my replies and I didn't mean to say everyone who leaves their kids in the car are lazy, but it wouldn't be my choice, I live in a big city with lots of crime, and I wouldn't think about leaving my child alone in a car even for a minute.


I am very sorry, never meant to hurt anyone's feelings.
post #125 of 164
. Let's get back on topic, leaving kids in cars: OK or not?

I say it is not OK. But I do leave my kids in the car while I carry groceries to the front porch, with both doors open. Then I go back and unstrap the kids and take the kids to the porch. I usher them in the door and then toss the groceries into the front hall. Then I close the door and carry the groceries to the kitchen.

Hey, I guess that's why I usually wait for dh to come home!

I feel the risk of them running out into the street is greater than the risk of someone showing up taking the kids out of the car while I make the fifteen foot trek from driveway to porch.

So I do understand weighing risks.
post #126 of 164
Quote:
Originally Posted by inezyv
. Let's get back on topic, leaving kids in cars: OK or not?
Like I said in a previous post... I think it really depends on the situation... personally I am not comfortable leaving them alone in the car to pay gas or go to into a store even if I see them the whole time... I wouldn't feel comfortble if I lived in an apartment complex either... (when I lived in, go to the city I would not leave them in the car at all)

The post box that I go to you can drive up to it and the only pay at the pump in my town is WAY out of my way but I rather go there... (or to my garage where I know the owners and they wife will pump the gas for me and entertain the kids while I go in, but I only go there if she is there)

However, I will leave them in the car in my driveway while I run in if I forgot something or to bring groceries in...
Like I said in a pp.... I also don't hesitate leaving them in the car if they have fallen asleep when we go to a friends house... Weather Permitting of course, strapped in their car seats, side door open and keys with me (and even a monitor put in the car to hear when they wake up)... of course my friend lives on a farm in the middle of nowhere.... and I just can't see the danger at all... (no one can come without the dog alerting us)
For those who believe in NEVER.... what do you think about that situation?
post #127 of 164
Quote:
Originally Posted by shannon0218
Yep, you can also teach kids they MUST hold your hand in a parking lot--that doesn't mean they won't break loose. Again, which is more dangerous? loose toddler in a parking lot or loose toddler in a car where mom can see and react within 30 seconds???
Having put 6 too many toddlers in body bags, I can say that not one of them had been left in a car where parents could see.
That is supervised. My point is that is that it is unsafe for children (not sleeping babies) to be in a car unsupervised. As I've said previously, I do leave my dd in the car to run to outdoor drop-slots, etc.....but I can see her, and am watching her.
post #128 of 164
Oh, and when my toddler was consistently breaking loose from my hand, I used a toddler harness. But that is another thread altogether :
post #129 of 164
Quote:
Originally Posted by sunnmama
That is supervised. My point is that is that it is unsafe for children (not sleeping babies) to be in a car unsupervised. As I've said previously, I do leave my dd in the car to run to outdoor drop-slots, etc.....but I can see her, and am watching her.
I think this sums up my comfort level completely. It is okay to leave kids in car if you can see them the entire time, and if you're not too far away to get to them within five seconds in case little Johnny manages to get out of his car seat.
post #130 of 164
Quote:
Originally Posted by RubyWild
When I was a girl, my mom used to give us a choice to stay in the car or go into the store with her. We virtually always stayed in the car and listened to the radio. My mom wasn't lazy. She knew what we could and could not handle and was respectful of our choices.
This is actually how I was kidnapped. I begged my mom to let me stay in the car because my feet hurt from my new shoes (first day of 8th grade). I also wanted to listen to the radio. She let me - this one time (usually I paid while she pumped). I layed the seat down and closed my eyes when only 2 seconds later the man jumped in the car. I do think that there is an age where kids will make the choice to stay in the car - that is why I don't blame my mom - it was my choice. But at certain ages I think it is absolutely ridiculous to leave a child in the car. A child of 2 or 3 or 4 who is intelligent and capable enough to open a door or to put the car into neutral should never be left unattended in a car. Let alone "because they are sleeping". I would rather wake my son up to bring him into the store than leave him in the car - he can always fall back asleep in the car but I would never get him back if something happened to him.

And I really don't understand the argument that a child is more likely to run away in the parking lot and get hit by a car than to be kidnapped. I manage to get my children in the store without that happening - maybe that's just me.

And yes - in most large stores you have to actually walk to the front door meaning that some risks tend to be risks that must be taken (walking through a parking lot) whereas others don't "have" to be taken. You don't "have" to leave your child in the car. That was all I meant by that.

I mean - would you leave a loaded gun in your bedroom closet where you feel your cild could never reach it or could never find it? I wouldn't because the risk is all to real. I feel the same way about leaving a child (especially a younger child) in the car. The risks are all too real and very avoidable.

Thats all this is about - not weather or not there are risks somewhere else - but making the choice to not purposely putting your child at risk for something that is clearly avoidable.
post #131 of 164
I wanted to point out that there is a major difference between leaving your child in the car to go knock on someones door or to drop a movie in a drop slot than actually going shopping!!! The latter is ridiculous to me. I drop movies off and I knock on my friends door (like if I"m going to pick someone up). I can't comprehend actually going into a store where I am knowingly placing a barrier between me and my child (door? wall?). The fasted way from point A to point B is a straight line. There is not one single store that allows me the fastest way to get to my child shoud something happen. And I still can't think of a store where I can get in and out in 2 min. Just standing in line takes 10 min. for me - and that's just at Walgreens or the gas station.
I'm begining to wonder where ya'll live? Seriously - makes me wonder if its too crowded in my town!
post #132 of 164
I don't think anyone is advocated shopping nad leaving the child in the car, I'm certainly not!!
When I got flipped out on, I pulled my truck up to the curb in front of the OUTDOOR ATM I was closer to her car seat at the ATM than I would have been while walking around the truck to get her out. The truck was running with the heat on, but I had the keys, we have a remote starter so I started it and then locked it down--even if someone could get in, once they tried to get it in gear it would have stalled out on them. What would you think abotu that sort of situation.
post #133 of 164
Quote:
Originally Posted by shannon0218
I don't think anyone is advocated shopping nad leaving the child in the car, I'm certainly not!!
When I got flipped out on, I pulled my truck up to the curb in front of the OUTDOOR ATM I was closer to her car seat at the ATM than I would have been while walking around the truck to get her out. The truck was running with the heat on, but I had the keys, we have a remote starter so I started it and then locked it down--even if someone could get in, once they tried to get it in gear it would have stalled out on them. What would you think abotu that sort of situation.
I remember that thread! Wasn't Havoc in there with her?

Anyway, I've done that very thing before. Left the kids in the locked car at an ATM that was less than 10 feet from my car. I've also left them in the car in our garage if I've forgotten something in the house. (With the car turned off.) If it was very hot out, of course I would have enough sense to not leave them in the car. This is a topic that I think varies greatly depending on where you live. I live in a rural-ish area with an extremely low crime rate. I'm going to ask my mom what she thinks of this. She's a 30 year CPS supervisor.
post #134 of 164
Ok, back to the topic at hand. What if instead of a car, you had a pirate ship? What then? What if all the other pirates were ashore, doing a bit of light looting and whatnot - could you safely leave your booty on board with the lasses and laddies who were not of looting age? What if a bigger pirate ship came along...or what if one of the kiddies accidentally set off the powder kegs? Or walked off the plank? I mean, it's just a rat's nest of problems, argh.

I mean, let's keep some perspective here. A pirate ship is obviously much more dangerous than a car, and IMHO, vastly underrepresented in public service campaigns regarding children and transportation.
post #135 of 164
Thread re-opened. Please mind the User Agreement while posting.
post #136 of 164
Quote:
Originally Posted by flyingspaghettimama
Ok, back to the topic at hand. What if instead of a car, you had a pirate ship? What then? What if all the other pirates were ashore, doing a bit of light looting and whatnot - could you safely leave your booty on board with the lasses and laddies who were not of looting age? What if a bigger pirate ship came along...or what if one of the kiddies accidentally set off the powder kegs? Or walked off the plank? I mean, it's just a rat's nest of problems, argh.

I mean, let's keep some perspective here. A pirate ship is obviously much more dangerous than a car, and IMHO, vastly underrepresented in public service campaigns regarding children and transportation.
What on earth does this have to do with the conversation at hand??? I honestly don't think I've ever seen such an uneven argument!!

The point that MANY are making is that in many instances, depending on the situation at hand and where you live (I woudln't leave my child in new york--but then nor would I ever live there as I feel it's not safe enough) you are exposing your child to equal or greater dangers (as in real dangers that happen all the time--like being hit by a car in a parking lot). Those are the risks that every parent has to decide for themselves if it's worth taking those risks. I choose to risk driving but I would never, ever, ever, ever choose to risk driving my child witout a well installed carseat.

At least here, we don't have a whole of pirates, so I have NO idea what I'd do about that.
post #137 of 164
Quote:
Originally Posted by shannon0218
I don't think anyone is advocated shopping nad leaving the child in the car, I'm certainly not!!
.
That was my understanding of the OP:

"Many parents I know in town (including me) have left kids in the car while running into a store for just a minute." (post #1)

That is also the implication of the title (unattended).

I am uncomfortable with that, because I feel the car itself is an unsafe environment for a mobile, unsupervised child.
post #138 of 164
I think flyingspaghetti is trying to insert humor. I hope!
post #139 of 164
Quote:
Originally Posted by Charles Baudelaire
Wouldn't that be great if we who live in really hot states could all make that decision? Every day? From basically the end of July through the end of September?
Honestly - I'd leave. I couldn't live in that kind of heat. I've known plenty of people who have left Vancouver because they hate the rainfall. There are some climates and some people that are basically incompatible.
post #140 of 164
Quote:
Originally Posted by sunnmama
That was my understanding of the OP:

"Many parents I know in town (including me) have left kids in the car while running into a store for just a minute." (post #1)
In my case at least, the store I've done this with twice, is really no different than a drop slot. I only do it if I can park directly in front of the door, and the door is open. I have actually walked to the milk backwards, so that I can watch the car (okay - people think I'm weird - so be it). Then, while I'm at the counter, I'm in a direct line with my car, and can see my car the whole time. I'd be at the vehicle in less than 10 seconds if something happened (such as dd getting out of her seat).

I forgot - I also leave ds2 in the car at the grocery store, while I grab a buggy. Sometimes, dd comes wiht me, sometimes she waits with ds2. Again...I park right near the buggy rack (closest available space) and come right back to the car. If I'm carrying ds2 and holding dd's hand, there's just too much chance that she'll break loose. She doesn't want to hold my hand, and she's usually okay about staying with me, but not always.
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