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Leaving kids in car unattended for just a minute...how bad is it? - Page 8

post #141 of 164
Quote:
Originally Posted by 4imprints
Just standing in line takes 10 min. for me - and that's just at Walgreens or the gas station.
I'm begining to wonder where ya'll live? Seriously - makes me wonder if its too crowded in my town!
Sounds like our walgreens. I live in Phoenix, AZ. Very crowded.
I wouldn't leave a child here in a car alone, but that is more because this city has more crime then small towns.
post #142 of 164
Personally I think it is a terrible idea. It only takes a minute for a stranger in your "safe" town to steal your child. Sure the doors are locked and you are only gone for a minute, but if someone wants your child they can take them faster then you think. Can you really see your car the whole time you are in the store? It only takes a minute to get the kids in and out.
post #143 of 164
Quote:
Originally Posted by Elizabeth0506
Can you really see your car the whole time you are in the store? It only takes a minute to get the kids in and out.
Yes, but I've never gone in a store. Just to a walk-up ATM. There are convenience stores here that I could go in and see the kids the whnole time. I just never have. I wouldn't think anything about kids left in cars in these places around here. Now a child in the car alone at a supermarket or Walmart is totally different.
post #144 of 164
Quote:
Originally Posted by 4imprints
And I still can't think of a store where I can get in and out in 2 min. Just standing in line takes 10 min. for me -
Well, I have sat in the car and waited until there was nobody else in the store, so I wouldn't have to wait in line...
post #145 of 164
No, I would definitely *not* leave my daughter in the car unattended. I always bring her with me, even if she's sleeping, or even if it's just for a minute. I agree with the person who mentioned the barrier (wall/window) betw you and child - I just would not be comfortable with that at all, even if I was in a "small town."

As an aside, I felt more creeped out by the people in the one small town I lived in for a summer (pre-baby) than I have ever been in any city.
post #146 of 164
I think it's hilarious that this thread is 8 pages long, and that there are other huge threads on this subject in the archives.

I mean, really, how long can we talk about this subject?
post #147 of 164
(that's me)

It's a very fascinating topic.
post #148 of 164
Quote:
Originally Posted by thismama
I think it's hilarious that this thread is 8 pages long, and that there are other huge threads on this subject in the archives.

I mean, really, how long can we talk about this subject?
Oh, thismama, do you really want to know the answer to that? (Please say no) It kills me that people get so self-righteous about it, when I mean, come on, is anyone on MDC some sort of bad mother? Highly doubtful.
post #149 of 164
Quote:
Originally Posted by sunnmama
I think flyingspaghetti is trying to insert humor. I hope!
Well, at least someone gets it.
post #150 of 164
Quote:
Originally Posted by shannon0218
By the sounds of it, the VERY WORST CASE is that during that trip from drivers door to passenger door, someone carjacks your car with your kid in it. Of course, the very worst case of walking to the park is that a stampede of wild elephants will get loose and trample you while you innocently walk to the park...yep, no danger there!!!!!!!! The elephants are BY FAR the most likely scenario!!
Where on earth do you live that elephant stampedes are more likely than carjackings?

Carjackings are an all too common occurrence around here, and they take seconds to complete.

And, really, I haven't seen anyone get "self-righteous" on this thread.
Well... yet.
post #151 of 164
Quote:
Originally Posted by Yooper
Why is it so hard to accept that different people weigh their risks vs. benefits differently? There are many factors here....temperature, location, age of kid(s), etc..... Each person is going to look at their cards and decide what tips the scale for them. Coming on here to say "I do x,y,or z" is fine. Calling one camp "lazy" and the other "paranoid" is actually against the user agreement (isn't it?).
:

Quote:
Originally Posted by thismama
I think it's hilarious that this thread is 8 pages long, and that there are other huge threads on this subject in the archives.

I mean, really, how long can we talk about this subject?
:
post #152 of 164
Ok - simply out of curiosity - I wonder if someone would time themselves. For example, measure 8 feet inside your front door and 10 outside of your door and get someone to time you how long it would take you to run from inside to outside your home. Then get someone to time how long it would take you to run 18 feet on the street - without barriers. I really am curious - wondering if the argument holds - logic says it will - but just wondering.
post #153 of 164
Quote:
Originally Posted by 4imprints
This is actually how I was kidnapped. I begged my mom to let me stay in the car because my feet hurt from my new shoes (first day of 8th grade). I also wanted to listen to the radio. She let me - this one time (usually I paid while she pumped). I layed the seat down and closed my eyes when only 2 seconds later the man jumped in the car. I do think that there is an age where kids will make the choice to stay in the car - that is why I don't blame my mom - it was my choice. But at certain ages I think it is absolutely ridiculous to leave a child in the car.
I'm terribly sorry for what happened to you. I don't believe, though, that because this happened to you in this way that it's a very large risk in the vast majority of the cases. These tragedies happen in many places. A girl from my 5th grade class was kidnapped from her bed. A woman from my college was attacked on her front porch. A woman from my grad school was attacked in dorm room. Someday my Dd will walk the few blocks to her school. Being in your bed, on your porch, in your yard, walking to school, there are risks involved. The risks are minimal, but they exist. We can't stop living. We can't control for everything. Personally, I'm very careful about all of these things and supervise my Dd 100 percent in the bathtub and the backyard, for example, but there are risks that I do take, such as kayaking and long walks in the rain. We assess our risks and make our choices. After what happened to you, I can't imagine you leaving your child alone in a car ever. It makes sense to me, but I can easily see someone leaving their child in a locked car for a few minutes when they're in sight. It's less risky than the walk to the door of the store in most parking lots.
post #154 of 164
Why do you chose to surpervise your children in the bath tub? Because someone's child drowned? Because you've heard "too many stories"? This is the same thing - even if it didn't happen to me I wouldn't leave my children in the car because I've heard it all too often.

Why do you look both ways when crossing the street?
Why do you have a house alarms?
Why do you lock your doors?
Why do you wear a seatbelt?
Why do you have your children where a helmet on their bike?
Why do you use a car seat?
Why do you do most of the things in your life.....

because of risks. Exactly what you said. You look at the risks and you act accordingly - IMO - chosing to leave your child in the car which is a risk is not acting accordingly. I mean seriously - so you're responsible enough to restrain them in a proper carseat but not responsible enough to not leave them alone where they are defenseless? That is what bothers me - the arguments - they just don't add up or at least I can't see how they add up. I mean if I felt it was OK to leave my child in an unattended car I don't see why I would worry about protecting them at all? Does that make sense. Now - obviously I'm not calling the mothers that do irrisponsible - its just that I don't see the logic in that arugment. They obviously have very good reason because I don't believe anyone on here would "intentionaly" cause harm to their child -but do you see the connection I'm making?

And about the kayaking - there are ways to still take all precautions when doing sports - helmets, vests, etc. I feel the same thinking should apply to cars - seatbelts, no loose heavy objects, not leaving a child unattended - and then the same thing applies to our houses - not leaving chemicals on the bottom shelf, covering outlets, keeping knives and scissors out of reach, supervising in the bathtub.

I don't leave my children in the car - but not because of what happened to me - because I try my hardest to minimize the risks in my childs life.

Sorry for the response - again - I just wanted it clear that my choices aren't "just because of what happened to me".
post #155 of 164
Here's the difference to me.

When I supervise my dd in the tub, I can't think of anything that puts her at risk by supervising her.
When I put her in a carseat, there is nothing that comes to mind to tell me she *may* be safer where she is.
When I change my smoke alarm battery, I don't wonder if putting in a new one is it's own safety hazzard.

When I take my child out of the car for less than a minute, the risks for me are almost equal.
My child could get away from me and be hit.
My child could be hit in the parking lot.
My child could be hit while in my arms.
My child and I could get held up at the ATM and hurt.
If someone wants to steal my child...is it easier to snatch her away from my ever strong hand as I hold her's or is easier to circumvent the locks on my truck, get through 100 lbs of dog who is trained to bite and will instantly lay down his life for that baby and then...after all that....unbuckle her from her carseat. All this while not catching the attention of any locals from my town that make it their business to know everyone and everything about them and feel obliged to protect their own???

For me, I weigh my risks. Car jacking doesn't really happen here--and they sure as hell arent' going to pick my vehicle--especially when 50% of the cars in the parking lot have keys in the ignition. Pedestrians getting hit by vehicles though, that happens all the time. For me, I analize my risks and decide which ones I can live with. Will it kill me if something happens to her--damn right!! But it will kill me if she gets hit by a car in the parking lot because I took her with me. It will kill me if we're in an accident and the backseat is demolished---even though all the risk analists told me she was safest back there.
post #156 of 164
Thread Starter 
On the www.kidsincars.org site - did anyone notice any stories where kids were kidnapped or cars stolen when the car was locked? All the ones I read the car was either running or unlocked.
post #157 of 164
Quote:
Originally Posted by 4imprints
Why do you do most of the things in your life.....

because of risks. Exactly what you said. You look at the risks and you act accordingly - IMO - chosing to leave your child in the car which is a risk is not acting accordingly. I mean seriously - so you're responsible enough to restrain them in a proper carseat but not responsible enough to not leave them alone where they are defenseless? That is what bothers me - the arguments - they just don't add up or at least I can't see how they add up. I mean if I felt it was OK to leave my child in an unattended car I don't see why I would worry about protecting them at all? Does that make sense. Now - obviously I'm not calling the mothers that do irrisponsible - its just that I don't see the logic in that arugment. They obviously have very good reason because I don't believe anyone on here would "intentionaly" cause harm to their child -but do you see the connection I'm making?
]You believe that it is always safer to bring your child inside with you. My point is that this isn't always the case. Sometimes it is just as safe or safer to leave them in the car. On this point, we simply disagree.
post #158 of 164
I think after reading everyone's reponses, that my advice is, you do what is best for your child and your family, and I'll do what is best for mine.
I do understand where everyone is coming from.

I think everyday life is a risk, but as long as we all do what we feel is right for our family, then that is all that matters.
post #159 of 164
My older son used to stay in the car by himself when he was 4 years old ONLY when going into a small convenience store where i could see him, and the doors locked(keys with me) I live in a super small town where everyone knows everyone and the wait in line was zilch (honestly!) and i never once felt bad about it. It depends on a lot of things. Also, may i say that i live in europe where kids are in the car a LOT of the time...i mean i say this from babies, to older ones while their parents grocery shop. i see this a lot here, and nobody thinks twice about it.:
post #160 of 164
4imprints/Sara....I remember you posting about your horrific experience in a past thread like this and I want you to know I am amazed at your strength and I appreciate your willingness to post about what happened to you. Complacency runs rampant until one finds themselves in the situation that always happens to "other people". Continued peace, health, and happiness to you.

DC
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