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Leaving kids in car unattended for just a minute...how bad is it? - Page 4

post #61 of 164
Quote:
Originally Posted by Joannarachel
If you leave small children unattended in a parking lot, even for just a few minutes, you can bet your right butt cheek, I'll be calling the police and child services on you. (I'm a MR but I would either way.)

On the other hand, I've left my children in the car in our driveway for two seconds while I grab my forgotten glasses off the table.
If I'm in the parking lot at a corner store...no other cars, and nobody around, how is that any less safe than my driveway (if I had one)?
post #62 of 164
I live in a small town and I do it in the off Summer months but only when I can see them and I don't lock the doors I actually like them open. (sliding van doors) I think my youngest has had moore naps in the car than in my arms. Sad!
post #63 of 164
The only time I've ever left babe in the car while I paid for gas is when it was so bone chilling cold outside (as in, wind chill of about 5 degrees F or so) and it seem more humane of me to let him stay in the car while I ran in to pay (less than 5 seconds) rather than to bring him out of the car in such weather. I sat in the car grappling with how I was going to get him out of the car inside to pay for about 10 mins at the pump after pumping the gas before I just did it. I would have just nixed on the gas altogether if I thought I could get home. But the needle was below the E.

I felt terrible afterwards, and all the horrible things that "could" have happenned went through my mind afterwards.

I have never done it since and would never do it again. It's makes me uncomfortable.

I have left him asleep in the crib while cleaning, and stepped outside breifly to put the trash in the outside can. Also less than 30 seconds.
post #64 of 164
Storm Bride - no offense - but I was 13 also when I was kidnapped. When someone holds a gun to your head your first instinct isn't going to be to lunge at them. A 13 year old is in no way capable of fending off an attacker. Also - when my mom went into the gas station she could see the car the whole time. Of course, those two seconds that you look away can be a lifetime to a child. And it wouldn't have mattered. He had sped off before she could run back to us.

Its not that I'm trying to criticize - I just hope that parents can learn from my situation. That being said - my very own sister leaves her 3 kids in the car while another mom in the car next to her "watches" them and she runs in to the school for things.

Whenever I have a "quick" errand to run - like dropping movies off or getting one thing from the store - I wait until my husband gets home from work and leave the kids with them. Or I take them with me.

I just can't comprehend consciously taking that risk. OF course I don't blame my mom for what happened to me - after all this was 12 years ago and these things were unheard of. But she blames herself everyday of her life - and I'm still alive.
post #65 of 164
Oh - I also wanted to add that the man who kidnapped me wasn't from another car. He was sitting very quietly in a corner - you couldn't see him- waiting to steal a car (it was unfortunate that I was in it).

No one ever believes that it will happen to them - but it only takes a second.
post #66 of 164
My answer is: Commen Sense. Whatever happened to commen sense? If you leave your child in a car alone, doesn't commen sense say "wait, my child could get kidnapped? my child could get over heated in a none running car?"
post #67 of 164
Sara...who's to say that your mom being there would have made a difference? You're talking about a man with a gun, and frankly...adults are killed in that situation every day. I'm not sure I'd do any better in that situation than my son would...he's as tall as I am, weighs 135 pounds, and has had martial arts training, which I haven't. He's better equipped to deal with most attackers than I am, and neither of us is equipped to deal with a man with a gun. Most cases like yours that I've read/heard about have been grown women.
post #68 of 164
Sara, I will carry your story with me. I am terribly sorry that happened to you, and I thank you for sharing your experience with us.
post #69 of 164
When evaluating the risk, consider the risk of being reported to Child Protective Services and bringing that on your children. That is a real risk, and that risk may be significantly higher than the risk of a criminal grabbing them. Would you leave one million bucks on the seat unattended? If not, don't leave your child.
post #70 of 164
Quote:
Originally Posted by kmisje
My answer is: Commen Sense. Whatever happened to commen sense? If you leave your child in a car alone, doesn't commen sense say "wait, my child could get kidnapped? my child could get over heated in a none running car?"
Overheated? In under a minute? I don't know about anywhere else, but it's never been that hot here.

And, as I said to Sara, if someone were to want to kidnap my kids (please, god no!), I'm not convinced that my presence would stop them.

Sara - I'm doubtful that he "just" wanted to steal a car. If that were the case, he'd have probably dumped you on the pavement, instead of risking a much bigger rap for kidnap, rape & attempted murder. I'm very, very sorry that happened to you.
post #71 of 164
Quote:
Originally Posted by Storm Bride
If I'm in the parking lot at a corner store...no other cars, and nobody around, how is that any less safe than my driveway (if I had one)?
I AGREE.....I would rathe runstrap my child out of his car seat, get my glasses, then leaving him alone ANYWHERE in a car.
Now you can tell me you live in the safest area, but those are usually the people I see on the news "my neighborhood is so good, I don't know what happened" well guess what? criminals are EVERYWHERE.

I know you can protect your children from everything, but you can make the choice NOT to leave your kids in a car by themselfs.

I don't care if its in tim buktoo.
post #72 of 164
Quote:
Originally Posted by inezyv
When evaluating the risk, consider the risk of being reported to Child Protective Services and bringing that on your children. That is a real risk, and that risk may be significantly higher than the risk of a criminal grabbing them. Would you leave one million bucks on the seat unattended? If not, don't leave your child.
I can't imagine having a million bucks. But, I have left my purse (with most of my cash, debit card, credit card & all my ID) on the seat for as long as I've left my kids, and in the same circumstances. If someone's going to be able to steal my car and/or grab my kids out of their carseats before I get back to the car (less than 10 seconds...I can't get my kids out of their carseats that fast), I don't think my presence is going to change anything.
post #73 of 164
Quote:
Originally Posted by Storm Bride
Overheated? In under a minute? I don't know about anywhere else, but it's never been that hot here.
In Arizona, it gets 120 degrees, YES in ONE minute a child could get over heated here, want to know how many children died in Arizona because parents were too lazy to take their kids out of the car here to go pay for gass???

And I am talking small infant babies, in a none running car. With NO a/c on.
It may not happen in some places, but why take a chance???
post #74 of 164
Quote:
Originally Posted by kmisje
I AGREE.....I would rathe runstrap my child out of his car seat, get my glasses, then leaving him alone ANYWHERE in a car.
Now you can tell me you live in the safest area, but those are usually the people I see on the news "my neighborhood is so good, I don't know what happened" well guess what? criminals are EVERYWHERE.

I know you can protect your children from everything, but you can make the choice NOT to leave your kids in a car by themselfs.

I don't care if its in tim buktoo.
Criminals are everywhere - no doubt, and I'm not arguing. But...take my groceries. I get out of the car (parked out front...about 15 feet or so from my door), unlock the door and set down my purse inside. Then, I go back to the car, and open the back, and grab a couple bags. I go back in the house, drop the bags, and come back out. When I'm done, I let dd out her seat, and she waits with me while I take ds2 out of his seat, then we all go back in together.

When I first moved here and started driving, I tried a few other things...like letting them go in the house first. DD would bolt past me while I was unloading and get out into the parking lot. So, if someone wanted to snatch her then, he'd have just had to pick her up, instead of either hotwiring my car or getting her out of her seat. They're safer in the car while I unload.
post #75 of 164
Quote:
Originally Posted by kmisje
In Arizona, it gets 120 degrees, YES in ONE minute a child could get over heated here, want to know how many children died in Arizona because parents were too lazy to take their kids out of the car here to go pay for gass???
OK, in Arizona, yes, that's a concern. But don't then apply that to *everyone.*
post #76 of 164
Quote:
Originally Posted by kmisje
In Arizona, it gets 120 degrees, YES in ONE minute a child could get over heated here, want to know how many children died in Arizona because parents were too lazy to take their kids out of the car here to go pay for gass???
If it were 120 degrees, I wouldn't be able to leave the house, so that's not a big worry for me. If my kids can get overheated in one minute in the car, they're no safer at home, because I don't have AC, and it gets hot here in the summer...just as hot as the car.

I love the non-judgmental "lazy", btw. I only pay at the pump. Otherwise, I wouldn't ever put gas in the car while the kids were with me, because I don't want dd in the gas station parking lot while I unstrap her brother and I can't unstrap her while holding him. I also wouldn't leave them in the car in a gas station...there are too many cars and people around for me to be able to count on seeing the car the whole time.
post #77 of 164
My Dd freaks when I try I leave her in the car in the garage to run back and get something I forgot. So, I couldn't leave her if I wanted to. I have a feeling, though, that under the right circumstances (safer area, child locked in car, can see the car, just running in for 2 minutes, weather is temperate) I'd leave a small child in the car. I don't feel that would be unsafe.
post #78 of 164
Quote:
Originally Posted by kmisje
My answer is: Commen Sense. Whatever happened to commen sense? If you leave your child in a car alone, doesn't commen sense say "wait, my child could get kidnapped? my child could get over heated in a none running car?"
Well, common sense also tells me that there is a greater risk of being hit as a pedestrian in a parking lot than there is of kidnapping by stranger. Overheating, hey sure, but the OP didn't say "So, it was hot enough to fry an egg on the sidewalk and I left my baby in my black car with no air and the windows up"
I'm an EMT and a search and rescue worker, I can tell you that overheating in 60 seconds is pretty darned unusual--getting hit by a car while running errands, being held up at bank machines, a 2 yr getting out of a parents grasp while in a parking lot--those are real risks that happen FAR more frequently than the ones many of us live in fear of.

I agree Sara that what happened to you was horrible, but I also agree that it probably would have happened whether your mother was in the car or not. Also, it's natural that YOU will be more sensitive to THAT issue--I'm freaked out about parking lots since I responded to a call where mom and a 4 yr old were both killed by an elderly lady who thought the car was in forward but it was in reverse--they were in a parking lot--mom was returning a movie--that's the only reason they were there, had she pulled up to the curb and ran out quickly, she and her dd would be alive.

It's all about what actually feels like REAL risk to each person. I don't go for a walk without the dogs--why?? Cause there's a bear that lives in the bush at the end of our road, not a true or real risk to someone living in New York City, but it is a real risk where I live.
post #79 of 164
Quote:
Originally Posted by flyingspaghettimama
I guess I don't have one of those kids (that I know of) who would play with cigarette lighters or the power windows, seeing as she can't even undo her carseat latches, so it never really occurred to me as a hidden danger.
The thing about that is that suddenly, one day, they can undo their latches. Ds was very proud of himself when that happened.

I've never left ds in the car in my driveway because I can't see the driveway from my house. And I've always been concerned that I'd do something silly like trip over my feet while running in, bash my head on the sidewalk, and be out cold for the next hour. Yeah, yeah, I know. I can be a bit of a klutz, though, so it's not entirely out of the realm of possibility

When he was a toddler and I had to carry groceries or other packages in, I'd have the wrap or mei tai handy and tie him on my back. It was a lot of weight to deal with, but it's only a few minutes... and good exercise.

I do leave him now, occasionally, to drop a movie in the slot (though most times he wants to do it) or to drop books in the outdoor library box. But that means being maybe 5 feet from the door and I lock the car with the remote locks when I get out.

It just seems like too big of a risk to me. Even though there's risk in getting him out and walking with him through a parking lot, it feels lesser because I'm holding his hand and could potentially help him if he needed it whereas, if he's in the car and someone goes after him, there's really little to no chance of me helping him from a distance.
post #80 of 164
Dragonfly--wanna know my biggest slightly irrational fear??

I won't do laundry when I'm home alone with dd cause I'm afraid I'll fall down the stairs and be knocked out. A lot of the same risks people are worried about have directly similar possibilities inside our own homes where we think we're safe.
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