Anyone travel in Europe with 7ish year olds?

[StephandOwen]

Just curious what your experiences are. Having a bit of an *argument* with a friend tonight. He asked if we were to get married (totally hypothetical situation!) then would I like to travel Europe with him. I said sure, I'd love to. But then he asked if I'd be okay leaving my DS back here I can't imagine leaving him with someone else for any length of time right now, but for arguments sake I asked him how long he's asking for. About 6 weeks was his answer He says it wouldn't be for a few more years, so I'm saying DS would be around 6-7 years old. He is insisting that traveling with kids would be a pain (he didn't mean it in a bad way- he doesn't have kids and has never spent time around young kids so he doesn't know any better). I say it would be an awesome experience for everyone- including my ds. While it probably would slow us down, I don't think it would be that bad.

So..... thoughts? Who is right here?

[flyingspaghettimama]

Well, it really depends. If he is imagining happy honeymoon in romantic Europe, then he's right. If you're imagining family bonding in authentic Europe, you're right. We took our five year old to France and England last year and had a blast. It was a different sort of blast than we might've had if we'd been alone... i.e. we took more breaks, we stayed in one city and rented a flat, we ate a lot of our meals in, we did a lot of free and cheap things (parks, playgrounds, free days at various museums, etc). We also got to meet more locals on the playground and in family dining establishments and have the wonderfully false sense of being a local, shopping at the epicerie and such.

It's not the backpacking, heavy travel, romantic dining sort of trip, but it was really fun all the same. After about age five, kids can entertain themselves on the plane, read books, play gameboy, etc. It's the best age, in my mind.

There are a couple good books - one is Take Your Kids to Europe by Cynthia Harriman; and there are many series of books on all the great European destinations by Fodors, Frommers and Cadogan (my fave).

And yes, 6 weeks is way too long to leave a seven year old, for me. Maybe when they're older than that, but at seven, that's a very long time (half the summer!). I would have this person reevaluate your child's place in your heart and his heart too, if he's sticking around for long. "Let's go to Europe and ditch your kid" is not exactly the heart-warming sentiment a MDC mama would want to hear when you're thinking about spending your lives together.

[StephandOwen]

Originally Posted by flyingspaghettimama

If he is imagining happy honeymoon in romantic Europe, then he's right.

You know, I don't know for sure but I don't think we're talking honeymooning like vacation. He just mentioned that he would like to travel in Europe before "settling down" (after marriage, before kids).

Originally Posted by flyingspaghettimama

I would have this person reevaluate your child's place in your heart and his heart too, if he's sticking around for long. "Let's go to Europe and ditch your kid" is not exactly the heart-warming sentiment a MDC mama would want to hear when you're thinking about spending your lives together.

Okay, I probably should have been a bit more specific with this persons role. We are not planning on getting married, not even a possibility for a long time. We "met" through a mutual friend about 6 months ago BUT have only talked on the phone/internet. We have not met IRL, because he lives about 9 hours away. We talk on the phone most days for a couple hours. He will be driving up here later this summer to meet. We talk a lot about "if" we were to hit it off and things were to work out (which is what spurred the conversation tonight) but it's so far off in the future I'm not even taking this conversation all too seriously. I posted this because I was curious if others have had positive experiences of traveling abroad with a young child (glad you did, btw!) so I can try and make the argument that it's not what he's imagining (his argument was he was a brat when he was younger and made family trips h*ll on his mom He's afraid any kids would do that to him- payback time!- so is afraid to travel with kids ).

[flyingspaghettimama]

Originally Posted by StephandOwen

He just mentioned that he would like to travel in Europe before "settling down" (after marriage, before kids)...
He's afraid any kids would do that to him- payback time!- so is afraid to travel with kids ).

Are you sure he's not just afraid of kids in general? Does he (hypothetically) understand that (hypothetically) he would be settling down as soon as he married you (hypothetically)? I mean, when you marry someone who already has kids, you get the whole package, and you can't really have the "before settling down" scenario that others do have.

Anyhow, that's more of my opinion than you wanted...I just think it's so strange to NOT want to bring your kids on an awesome European trip!

[StephandOwen]

Originally Posted by flyingspaghettimama

Are you sure he's not just afraid of kids in general?

Honestly- he could be, but he hasn't admitted it to me. He's never been around small kids. He's got 1 older brother and that's it. He knows what kind of a relationship I have with DS and is very supportive of it (we normally only talk after DS is in bed, but if he happens to call and DS is still awake then he'll usually tell me to go spend time with DS and he'll call back later. He's also a good sport when DS wants to talk to him on the phone ). He was freaked out when he found out about some of my parenting things (extended breastfeeding and co-sleeping, to be exact. He had honestly never heard of someone nursing a child past 6ish months. He's gotten over it though, and is actually starting to see that it's not a bad thing The co-sleeping does still freak him out a bit, but I have mixed feelings about that too. I'm fine co-sleeping now, but I don't think I would be so fine if I was married to someone other than DS's dad. I feel bad saying it, but it's true).

Originally Posted by flyingspaghettimama

Does he (hypothetically) understand that (hypothetically) he would be settling down as soon as he married you (hypothetically)? I mean, when you marry someone who already has kids, you get the whole package, and you can't really have the "before settling down" scenario that others do have.

Yes, he does. Well, to a certain extent he does. I don't think anyone can be fully prepared for a big change like that. His brother just got married to a single mom and he and his brother talk a lot about how it's changed his life (mostly in a good way, but he's apparently added some negative things in also). He does take my DS into consideration when doing things, even now before he's even met us. For instance- he's thinking of buying a new car so he keeps asking me questions about "would this be okay with Owen?", "would you be able to fit his carseat in this car?", etc. So I think he understands that if we were to be together Owen is part of the package deal, and he seems okay with it.

Originally Posted by flyingspaghettimama

Anyhow, that's more of my opinion than you wanted...I just think it's so strange to NOT want to bring your kids on an awesome European trip!

That's okay, I kinda went off topic here too I think part of the problem is that he is imagining this pokey, whiny child dragging his feet and not wanting to do anything. Knowing my DS, this would not be him (at least not until the teen years ). Right now my DS loves to travel (what little we do), does great in the car, is up for most things including museums and stuff, and has more energy than I do most days

[MamaBug]

Moving this to Childhood Years

[KaraBoo]

My daughter is 7 1/2 and has been travelling regularly since we moved to Europe over 6 years ago. You certainly CAN travel with children, of any age. Your fiance may just need some time to get used to being around kids...

And yes, sometimes my daughter doesn't want to do everything we do. My thinking is that it's *her* trip too. We do stuff that everyone will enjoy. If there is something in particular that I want to do, my husband will hang with her and then I'll do the same for him. We always include something she enjoys, like swimming or going to a park. And you'd be surprised by how much walking a little kid can do! My daughter amazes me. And then, of course, there are times she just wants to stay in the hotel. We usually try to have a "down" day at some point in our vacation, sometimes two if the trip is long.

Good luck and I hope you can help him see that children can be great travellers. Maybe take some short trips together to see how you all interact while travelling?