When you read to your child, do you leave parts out?

[lavender6]

Do you ever leave a sentence or two, or even a whole part, out of a book you're reading to your child? Do you just leave it out, or do you make something else up? I do this with a couple of my son's books, and now I'm writing an article about it--what we leave out, why, and how it helps us clarify what we want to teach our children.

If you'd be willing to share some of what you leave out with me, I'd be very grateful. My email is [e-mail]. If you want to share, let me know the following:

--the book
--the text that you leave out
--what you do instead
--why you don't read that part

Thanks so much! I really appreciate your help! Erin

[Viola]

I do this sometimes. I'll e-mail you.

[afishwithabike]

The only times i leave stuff out is if she skips a page while reading because she is tired of sitting. Most books I own do not have things I wouldn't want then to hear. I don't do the traditional nursery rhyme books because many of them are actually cruel in my opinion. I know I'm probable not much help but I can see where you are coming from.

[twilight girl]

Yes, I have a couple of books that I edit when I read. I will write more on this to you when I get a chance, but one of them is Eloise, and another is a book about a sea turtle.

More later ...

[*quatroveces*]

I sometimes leave out sentences/paragraphs, but not for any paticular reason.
Sometimes my head hurts (I suffer from cluster headaches) and I skip parts of the books I read. I actually only do it when the book has more than two paragraphs on the page.

[Rio Mama]

My son is dairy allergic, so if we're reading a book that makes a reference to ice cream or milk, I'll edit that to soy ice cream or soymilk, just so he feels like he's at least got some peers in bookland. We seem to do this more with library books than with our own books just b/c with our own books, we (I) sometimes end up tuning out while reading the words.:

I've also been known to reword stories like Thomas the Tank Engine b/c the characters are such dweebs.

Anything I judge too scary, violent, overly didactic or condescending, or otherwise inappropriate is subject to spontaneus editing.

[RubyWild]

I change words from the so-called masculine generic over to something neutral (fireman to firefighter and mankind to humankind).

I stopped reading Anne of Green Gables as soon as I remembered the whole theme of them not wanting her because she was not a boy. My dd has not learned that kind of sexism yet. I Know that she will and then that will be an excellent book to read to deal with that issue but not yet.

I stopped reading the Rainbow Fish because it seemed like it was about the importance of conformity more than about sharing and giving.

[mamajody]

I don't edit what I read to DD, but as a teacher, most of my books have been read in advance of her seeing them anyway. I am a bit of a book junky, and now so is she. If she does happen to get ahold of something that is not really age appropriate I read it to her anyway. Like the 50 year old encyclopedia of prehistoric life which she insisted on reading. Boy was it dull. She hasn't asked for it since. DH will sometimes edit, but she can tell when he changes the words. If it is something like Lion King where actual death occurs we read it and move on. if she questions the action in the book we stop and discuss the character's actions/motivations. Sometimes storytime takes awhile. OTOH that is how we teach her what we believe. through discussion of actions we don't always agree with.

[smeta]

I do!!

One book that I always change, and my kids *love* this book, is "Courdory goes to the doctor". There is one page that Cordoury is being weighed and the book says "Cordory gained a lot of pounds, too may cookies, Cordoury", I always say "good job, Cordoury", I don't think my 2 and 5 year old skinny-as-rails kids need to worry about being fat! There is also a page where Cordoury asks the dr. if he gets a shot and the dr. says "yes, we don't want you to get sick". Well, since we don't vaccinate, I just say "yes" and leave it at that. The funny thing is other people have read this book to my kids and they read it the written way and my 5 y.o. has it memorized!

There is this other book that I always change too (I can't remember the name). It's one my grandma bought for my dd about sharing. There are two sibilings in the book and the older sister calls the little brother a "little brat", so I leave that part out, don't need to start any name calling around here!

[smeta]

I also wanted to add that I frequently stop reading a book that we get at the library and I deem "inappropriate"!

[Penelope]

Just today, I was reading dd a Vera Williams book (I'm sorry, I can't remember the title - we were at the library) and in the book the child's house burns down and the family loses everything. The upshot is that the community takes care of them, and they save up for a nice, comfy chair. I really like some of her other work but I skipped over the fire part (several pages) when reading it.

I just don't want to go there with her - it felt too scary. She's very imaginative and remembers books so vividly I thought it would be too much for her.

[Penelope]

It was A Chair for my Mother - this, but not the bilingual version:

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/193...lance&n=283155

[ChristaN]

I'd have to wonder how long you could do this, though. Usually books in my kids' interest range are also within their reading range and they are reading them over my shoulder as I read to them so I really can't edit them without some questions from my kids about my reading ability!

[twilight girl]

Originally Posted by RubyWild

I stopped reading the Rainbow Fish because it seemed like it was about the importance of conformity more than about sharing and giving.

Thank you! I shy away from Rainbow Fish too! Although the illustrations are beautiful, I can't help feeling that it's not about sharing at all. In fact, I get really ticked off at all the other fish, who won't accept RF unless he gives them his prized possessions. For me the book emphasizes greed.

It could have be done much better to make it about the value of sharing, but maybe something was just lost in translation on that one.

Anyway, I edit Eloise 1) because it's really long, 2) I take out the part about her not liking school, and teasing her tutor, 3) I leave off the last line about pouring water down the mail chute. None of these are ideas my DD needs to hear just yet!

I edit out the sea turtle book because the turtle goes through some very violent experiences (bitten by a shark, run down by a boat), and this stresses her out, so I quiet the language down a little. I know it's reality, and the book is supposed to foster a sense of environmental responsibility and sense of stewarship, but I think it is a little too rough for such a tiny kid.

Lastly, with ALL books that mention "mommy" I change it to Mama. I hate the sound of "mommy" and want to encourage my daughter to ALWAYS call me Mama :

Hope that helps your research!!
Judi

[4evermom]

I'll skip things like spanking references and things that I think ds would find scary (like the fire destroying everything in a Chair for my Mother or stories about motherless children). I always preread books before I buy them, but sometimes ds gets books as gifts that I wouldn't buy him. When he was younger, I avoided words or phrases that I didn't want him quoting (he is very verbal and a big quoter, so I would wait til he learned a word like "stupid" from a different context rather than introducing it through story reading). I also avoided reading things like stories of poorly behaved children, lest they give him ideas.

Sometimes I open a familiar book in the middle and read to the end, or start at the beginning and skip pages, because I am tired. Ds never seems to mind, if he notices, though I do make it a point to read the parts he likes the best when I do that. I've been known to summarize sections to bridge the gaps in a story if I am skipping part. If it is easy just to use a word substitute for a word that I don't want to introduce to ds, then I'll do that.

As he has gotten older (almost 5 now), I've stopped editing as much because he is less sensitive. I still avoid things that might give him bad ideas because I can see him doing something and then rationalizing his behavior by saying "I was just pretending to be so-and-so." I'm more likely to read something as is and then say how I think the character should have handled a situation, then when he was younger.

In response to ChristaN, I can certainly see being able to do this a couple more years. I suspect that ds won't learn to read much earlier than I did (6.5) and the books that he is interested in now are much more advanced than early readers. He may or may not want to follow along with his eyes as I read anyway, since he likes to do more active things as he listens. I doubt that I will feel the need to do any editing for much longer, though (except when I'm eager for sleep).

[KKmama]

I've always "edited" as I read. Occasionally, it's a library book that I didn't have the chance to read word for word before reading to T for the first time (as the books get longer, it's harder to do this). Sometimes, it's a book that we have (often one given as a gift by a grandparent) that isn't quite there with our values. Sometimes, I do a running commentary.

Since T is starting kindergarten in the fall and will be learning to read (and he's recognizing a lot of words already), I think we may be putting a few books away or actually changing the words on the pages. Discussing the books (encouraging critical thinking skills) is more important for the long haul though, IMO.

I'll try to remember to e-mail you--if I don't, will you PM me and remind me? I'm definitely interested, but I'm forgetful.

I don't like The Rainbow Fish either, for the same reasons.

[obiandelismom]

I do this a lot with my 5 & 3 yo dss. The funny thing is that the 3yo is starting to read, but the 5yo not so much, so they are forever fighting over what the books "really" say! I have admitted to them that I change things here or there - mostly when I think the book isn't clear enough on what is going on. Sometimes I add stuff just because I feel like it (the frustrated writer in me! ), other times I take out things because I don't want to open a particular can of worms. I do like to read books to them that push the envelope a little, though. I remember being worried about reading Angry Arthur, because the boy in the story has this incredibly violent tantrum that basically destroys the entire UNIVERSE (and my kids both have strong tempers), but when my 5yo picked it out I read it straight, and they both LOVED it. Sometimes the tough topics end up being the right ones to tackle in books...

ANYWAY. If you want more details on which books, just let me know!

[Laurel]

Mostly I edit books to shorten them, especially at the end of a long day when I can't alter ds's bedtime story routine without risking a meltdown. The main offenders for length are all the Dr. Suess books. The challenge with them is that they are so repetitive. I tend to just read the "new" text on each page and leave out the endless repetitions of everything else that's been said.

I also will edit for violence or other things I deem inappropriate. For example, we have a nursery rhyme book and there is the rhyme about the old woman who lived in a shoe. I replace the "So she gave them some broth without any bread, and whipped them all soundly and sent them to bed" with "So she gave them some broth and she gave them some bread, and she hugged them and kissed them and laid them in bed."

We have been reading a book lately called "The Silver Swan". It's about a boy who watches a swan on the lake near his home. The swan then finds a male swan and has babies, but then a fox (who is starving because it's a long winter and need to feed her own babies) comes a long, tries to catch the swan, who ends up dying. At first I thought it might be too mature for ds, but he is actually really fascinated with the book. I do edit a lot of the text because it is too much detail, but I have told him the gist of the story. He asks tons and tons of questions, and I've tried to talk about it with him in a way that he can understand.

[marieangela]

Yep. I edit, too.
One book that comes to mind is Maurice Sendak's "In the Night Kitchen". We really like that book, but I don't read "God bless the milk and God bless me". At first, I just left it out, but then I started saying "Hooray for the milk and hooray for me". I am not religious and don't want to get into God talk (or is there really one? and such) just yet.

Otherwise I tend edit out or change things that I think are too scary or violent for my sensitive 3.5 year old.

[twilight girl]

Good point, Marie! I generally avoid books with god references anyway. I like your handling of the the god bless.