co-sleeping help/advice

[anonymous4_20]

I'm posting this here because I know you guys won't be judgemental. . .

We're not co-sleeping, mostly because I have problems with my shoulders and can't lie on my side for more than an hour a night. I couldn't even do it when I was pregnant--I had to spend most of my pregnancy in the recliner and ended up delivering a posterior baby for my troubles. So I decided that I didn't want to do the co-sleeping thing because side-lying nursing really bothers me, and that seemed to me to be a major advantage of co-sleeping.

But we're dealing with the teething thing now, and he was literally up ALL NIGHT last night. I got fed up and kicked DH out of bed at 4. But whenever I take Stuart to bed with me he wants to nurse the entire time. I can sleep and nurse side-lying at the same time, but he refuses to unlatch at all. Every time I popped him off this morning he laid there for a minute and then started to talk to me and grab for the breast. So I decided I wanted sleep and let him stay latched all night. Now my shoulders are killing me and I can't do anything around the house today.

How do you co-sleep when your babe wants to be attached the whole time? Is there a way I can make this work on those nights he's fussy? I don't think I can do it full time, but it sure would make those fussy nights easier.

TIA

[Panthira]

I turn over and let him scratch at my back.

[darkpear]

My first wanted to stay latched a lot. It is really hard and it sucks! She did outgrow it, but I don't know if you want to try and wait it out. It may just be while he's teething, or it may last longer.

If you do want to try and cope with it a bit, there are some things that may help. I like to take a mineral (cal/mag/potassium or cal/mag/zinc) supplement right before bed. This helps to relax me and help me sleep more easily and deeply, and it's also good for aches and pains. You can also try putting a body pillow at your back while you nurse side-lying. Stuart may also sleep better (and hopefully some of it off the breast) if you make sure he gets sunlight during the day and generally try and wear him out. I know there are teething remedies too (Hyland's?) but I don't have personal experience with those. You could also try giving him a pacifier at night, if you're not opposed to them.

[birthjunkie27]

I second the pacifier idea. When Samara's done nursing, but still attached to me, I gently unlatch her and if she starts to wake, pop the sassy in her mouth. Works like a charm.

[anonymous4_20]

He took a pacifier for a while, but lost interest when he found his thumb. Do I need a larger size than newborn now? It might be useful if he can find it and put it back in now--when he was younger he couldn't do that, so we didn't get much use out of it. I didn't really want to re-introduce it because I've heard how hard they are to wean from when the kid gets older, but at this point I'm a bit desperate.

Thanks for the advice. I did feel two teeth just starting to break through, so hopefully we'll get a break from this soon. It's just so depressing because he was a great sleeper (7 or 8 hours every night!) from birth to about 3 months, and then it all went downhill. He hit the four month growth spurt hard and never adjusted back.

Has anyone had any luck with the Hylands teething tablets? We tried them, but they don't seem to do a lot of good. Has anyone tried the Hyland's gel? We didn't have a lot of luck with their colic tablets, either, and the brand is so highly recommended on here that I was surprised.

[allnaturalmama]

Well, my pitiful girls are so stretched out and floppy that I can let him stay latched on all night, even while lying on my back!

But, that doesn't help you, does it? I am very strongly opposed to pacifiers, but I would say that your case is definitely one that truly warrants their use...

ETA: sorry, again, I'm useless. I see I x-posted right when you were mentioning the pacis.

[Taedareth]

Argh I feel for you!!! We have kind of a hard mattress (Tempur-Pedic) and sleeping all night in that side-lying position just kills my shoulders. *sigh* But in my case, DS does actually pop himself off and I can eventually turn on my back. I don't know what to tell you except maybe find a nice soft mattress?

[judybean]

while i love, love, LOVE side-lying nursing, my hips don't.

lucy is a constant latcher as well. sometimes it's simply trial and error to get her to de-latch so i can lay on my back or at least find a more comfortable position on my side. or, i'll do as panthira does and let her scratch at my back for a bit. if she's really tired, she'll search for the nipple for a bit, but then just fall back asleep.

[hottmama]

I have two suggestions.
1: Buy a memory foam mattress topper for your bed. We have one that is 4" thick and cost $160 on overstock.com- it has totally been worth it over the past year even though we are really poor. I have scoliosis that it has MAJORLY helped.
2: Nurse lying on your back with baby lying sideways across your chest. That's how I do it much of the time. Baby nurses on right boob and booty/legs hang off your left side or vice versa. If your boobs are at all stretchy, they can nurse lying on their side or on their belly with their head to the side. If your boobs aren't stretchy, they can keep their head smashed straight on the boob.

[Taedareth]

Originally Posted by allnaturalmama

Well, my pitiful girls are so stretched out and floppy that I can let him stay latched on all night, even while lying on my back!

Don't worry, Jen - a friend of mine spent some time in Senegal and I'm pretty sure he said the mamas there can nurse while carrying a baby on their backs!

[anonymous4_20]

Thanks for all the advice, ladies!

I will try to implement the pacifer and the back-lying nursing tonight. I always wondered if it would work on your back! Hopefully these will help my shoulders. I'm going to try to keep him in the crib as usual if possible, but I'm not optimistic. He's freaking out with DH as I type this, and has been clinging all day long. :

Unfortunately, I already have a Tempur-Pedic mattress. Without it I'd never be able to go on my side at all. We got a nice tax write-off for it, at least. Doctor's prescription.

I'll let you know how we make out.

[anonymous4_20]

Well, Stu was so upset I ended up kicking DH out of bed again last night (we've only got a queen sized and we all don't fit), but we did much better with the nursing part of it. I couldn't get the back-lying thing down because I kept worrying that he'd roll or smother. I ended up doing a variation on it by nestling him in the crook of my arm lying next to me and just stretching the breast to meet him. It let me stay mostly on my back (propped up a bit by a pillow), but still let him nurse. When he popped off, he didn't get as upset because he was still nestled next to his favorite boobie pillow! He just stirred a bit and went back to sleep. That's all good because the pacifier didn't seem to work, although I think I may keep trying with it to see if it helps with daytime nap transfers.

Thanks again for all your help. You guys are wonderful! I knew there had to be another way to make this work without killing my shoulders, and you helped me find it!

[aisraeltax]

hope things get better. my back always hurts. i wish i could kick dh out of the bed..no matter how bad it is, he seems to maintain his 1/2 of the bed.