Sharing

[Mom2Luke]

I had a play group at my house today and I was mortified by my 26 mth olds behavior. He was absolutely not going to share any of his toys. There were only 3 other children ranging in ages 3.5 to 16 mths. He seemed to be better with the 2 girls, but the 3.5 year old boy....whew it was torture to watch. I understand that it's difficult for 2 year olds to understand the concept of sharing, but does anyone have some ideals to get me through until he's a little older and better able to understand sharing. My husband made a brilliant assertion, he thought maybe our son thought the other boy was taking his toys, that maybe he didn't understand that he was only playing with them temporarily.

This has been going on for quite some time now. It's better when we play at other houses, but still it isn't great. Bottom line, my son doesn't like to share. Oh.....and distracting him with another toy doesn't work (he has a very focused, one-track mind!) and also talking about sharing and reading about sharing doesn't seem to work either. I've even put possible problem toys away....doesn't seem to matter!!!!

Help:

Kary B

[Mommiska]

Very difficult...I feel for you! I'm afraid I dont' have much advice, other than to suggest that when ds DOES share, you make a big BIG deal about how wonderful he is, etc. as he is sharing. Maybe if the act of sharing becomes the cause of lots and lots of positive reinforcement, that might help?

I'm sorry - that's the only thought I have. HOpe someone else can come up with more. :-)
Carolyn

[fishy]

re:sharing

im going to go out on a limb here and say...maybe its not that important to share. maye he feels invaded when others try to play with his toys.he isnt going to act like this forever and maybe right now is the time for honoring his feelings.
i believe in waiting for the time when the child is ready for things..weaning, toilet time, own bed, and sharing.

[freyasmom]

the thing that has worked best for my 2 y.o. dd and her friends is the concept of "turns",
i.e. "it's emma's turn now w/your toy and when she's done, you can have another turn", etc.
you can practice when other kids aren't around by using yourself; "oh it's mommy's turn now w/your car"...
it really seems to work for us!!
good luck!

[Alexander]

Children should not have to share if they do not wish to. You are setting yourself up for trouble if uou do not respect his little world.

Why not have a "his" box, and a "share" box.

B4 you put anything into the "share box", get his approval.

Also, his friends could bring some of their toys. Make sure they "check them in" so that they "check them out" too

Hope this helps

a

[Mom2Luke]

Thanks everyone for your suggestions...all great I might add You know, I should trust my instincts. When my son was having such a hard time a little voice was saying....honor his feelings, if he doesn't want to share he doesn't have to, but a louder voice was saying...the other moms will think I'm an awful mother if I don't encourage my son to share. Do I really care what other moms think over my own child's feelings....of course not, but I couldn't see the forest for the trees until you guys helped me clearcut

Thanks again.

Kary