3 yr old Tribe for June!

[**guest**]

Summer is just about here. What do you have planned this month?

I plan on trying to get ds to chill out. LOL.

Peace,
Liz

[**guest**]

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[marieangela]

I could stand to have my ds chill out, too! LOL I decided to come to work on my birthday (today) because it would be five hours of stress-free relaxation compared to spending that time with ds!

The local arts festival starts up this weekend and I'm planning to get to as many free outdoor concerts as I can. The line up includes English Beat, Soulive, Steel Pulse, Andrew Bird, Buckwheat Zydeco, Raul Malo and more. Should be interesting with the boys, but could turn out to be a lot of fun. I'm also trying to decide whether to get a pass for the local pool. Ds1 and I went all the time last summer and it was well worth it. Not sure how I'll be able to keep up with both boys by myself, though.

[Daffodil]

We're going to visit DP's mom later this month, and my sister and I are going to have a yard sale. Other than that, if there's ever a day when it's not either raining or unbearably hot, humid, and buggy, I'd like to take the kids on some hikes. Lindy would love to do a short overnight backpacking trip, but it might be hard to figure out how to manage that with a baby.

[tea olive]

haha! don't get me started on hot humid and buggy. what i want to get done is different from what will get done. i'm seriously considering poison my entire yard due to all day mosquitoes. it will have a temporary effect.

yesterday clay caught two butterflies mating - in a walmart bag. we've been watching brady bunch dvds.

it's dh i need to chill out. his shoulder is dislocating and relocating.

summers are weird for me. i grew up in the midwest where summers are what to look forward to. and my kids won't go outside especially after enjoying the mild california temperatures.

happy birthday marie!

[abranger]

Hi Ladies-

Subbing. I have a lot to say GA has been making some huge leaps lately. I am tired now though b/c I took her to vermont for a couple of days to give dh a break (I was away all of memorial day weekend)

I'll post more this afternoon.

Amy

[eilonwy]

Fighting in front of the kids-- I have to say, I think it's pretty healthy. I never learned how to engage in conflict, or how to make up afterwards. My mother was not only a single parent, but one of the least confrontational people I've ever met. So Mike and I do argue in front of the kids, and we try very hard to keep it civil. BeanBean invariably tries to take a side, and *that's* a nono, which will cause both of us to stop and tell BeanBean to back out; neither of us wants him taking sides. BooBah goes to whoever looks saddest and gives hugs and kisses and pats them on the back; sometimes she spends the entire argument going back and forth between us. We do make up, and get back to smiling again eventually, but the next day is generally filled with "My daddy is never coming home again!" fits from BeanBean, so we spend that evening explaining to him that mommy and daddy still love one another, we just don't always agree.

Complaining about Mike to the kids is something that I've never really done. Every now and then, I will tell BeanBean that the reason for X is that "Daddy is being a punk," but that's as close as it comes. My mother was constantly telling me crap about my father (who wasn't present, but still the source of all the bad things in my mother's life) that I really didn't want or need to hear. It me up in a big way. BeanBean does not need to know any number of things about his father that tick me off, and he doesn't need to know those things about me, either. The "He won't really understand it" explanation doesn't cover this for me, because a) I've got fairly strong evidence that he would in fact understand a great deal more than we intended and b) if he doesn't understand it now, he'll remember and understand it later and that won't be any better. My mother took any opportunity to talk about what a my father was, and even the few things that I didn't understand then (and I understood most of it) I understand now, and I"m disgusted. I'm a very liberal person when it comes to what children can/should watch, hear, say or do but even I've got a line and my mother crossed it more than once.

So no, I never talk trash about Mike to the kids. That's totally unfair, not only to Mike but to the kids. I will tell them that "Daddy and I need to discuss this, it's not for you to worry about," or "Daddy's being a bit of a punk," but it goes no farther.

BeanBean and BooBah are spending the weekend with their cousins and SkinnyPunk's little guy again. I think I'm gonna start calling him Captain Kirk, or maybe just Kirk. He's a sweetie, even if he is all rashy and funny smelling from his "forma-bleh," as my sister calls it.

[chrfath]

I'd like to join in with you guys. My DD has down syndrome and sometimes I forget that "yes, she is more like other 3yo than not". So it will be nice for me to have some place to share.

She just started walking about a month ago and is nonstop now. She is getting really fast too.

We have been watching lots of Signing times to help out with being preverbal. She has no and mom down pat.

We just got a new bike seat and are retiring the bike cart for a while. DD keeps getting herself out of the straps.: So we will definatley be doing lots of bike rides this summer. I am thinking about story time but I don't know yet. DS hates to go with us.

Oh, and I am going to see if my DMIL can help out for swim lessons at the public pool for both kiddos. I am also looking at all the free summer programs at the local metro parks.

[mommy68]

We go hiking alot as we have a mountain nearby with a state park and trails and waterfalls. We also ride our bikes a lot and the kids have outdoor toys and stuff to do. My oldest takes swim lessons at the Y every year and has a few summer camps planned through 4-H and a local university. We aren't planning a real vacation til sometime in July/Aug this year. We take our biggest vacation in the winter.

[DecemberSun]

Casina- I loved what you said about doing away with personal property altogether. Think of how much easier our lives would be! J and Z play very very well together nowadays- they aren't fighting over toys constantly- but when they do fight it's usually due to an injury "accidentally" caused by said toys. I guess if all they had to play with were sticks and stones outside they still might fight about "He hit me with the stick" or "She threw a rock at me", but it would be a heck of a lot less for me to clean up.

I am a little nuerotic about the toys... Like all the matchbox cars have to go together, and all the wooden cars and trucks go together, all the baby toys go in a certain box, all the dress up clothes go together, etc. It's not always perfectly organized of course, and once a month or so I have to go through everything and put it all back in it's respectful place. I know I waste a lot of energy on this, and it would definitely help if my kids didn't have so many stinkin' toys!

And I'm thinking of going through my house and getting rid of cluttering inanimate objects. I read something the other day about how plastic objects made on an assembly line hold no one's personal energy, so they steal your energy in order to "be". So maybe a good handmade bowl is better than 20 plastic ones. It really made me want get rid of almost everything and kind of start over with only the bare essentials. Something to think about, anyway...

This summer I'm just planning to stay sane and keep the kids from killing each other.

[MamaFern]

Originally Posted by DecemberSun

I am a little nuerotic about the toys... Like all the matchbox cars have to go together, and all the wooden cars and trucks go together, all the baby toys go in a certain box, all the dress up clothes go together, etc. It's not always perfectly organized of course, and once a month or so I have to go through everything and put it all back in it's respectful place. I know I waste a lot of energy on this, and it would definitely help if my kids didn't have so many stinkin' toys!

And I'm thinking of going through my house and getting rid of cluttering inanimate objects. I read something the other day about how plastic objects made on an assembly line hold no one's personal energy, so they steal your energy in order to "be". So maybe a good handmade bowl is better than 20 plastic ones. It really made me want get rid of almost everything and kind of start over with only the bare essentials. Something to think about, anyway...

im so with you on this.

[majazama]

jees, I finally connected the dots, and here I am.s

will read on in a bit.

[tea olive]

my kids have found elaborate ways of defining "mine". i think it could be quite a brochure. we have grey areas of items that were given when reed was a baby, and then whoever plays with it now. i guess the problem is that they all have thier own definition of mine, and it fluctuates with mood. so i'm tired of policing it.

i think the worst is just random kid gifts and goody bags. junk i pick up, i can own up to, but stuff that is here due to other people's whims? i'm already blunt socially, but i have never outright refused or forbidden gifts and tokens. i guess that is going too far i will just have to discreetly get rid of what i can like i have been, though i resent the energy it takes. of course some of this is my fault, due to the tendency to acquire three for three kids, so here i am just blowing air.

rynna, i might have to borrow that, calling daddy a punk. i adamantly do not want to badmouth him and that was my first and only slip up. but it's okay for them to know i am feeling irritated with dh for whatever reasons - simply because i have feelings of my own to manage!

dh's shoulder is hurt and he is really sick he even left work yesterday. each of us is sick with a bit of injury. this period has hit me hard and the vigilance of caretaking is wearing me down. so i guess i'll be behind on plans, okay?

[nancy926]

What we're doing this summer.....

being outside as much as possible! Picking strawberries, wandering around the yard, playing on the swingset, exploring in the woods, drawing with chalk on the porch when it just...won't...stop...raining......

going to visit grandparents in other states later this month....

going to the Montshire Museum of Science in NH some sunny day....

that's about all that's on the shed-yule so far. Some sort of first b-day celebration for Miss Binky in August, but probably just us and a big ol' watermelon, or something (she appears to luuuuuuurve watermelon).


Nancy

[eilonwy]

Summer plans... I'm going to try to get the kids outdoors as much as possible. I'm already behind on that, though, because I'm having trouble finding sunscreen and bug repellant that I can remotely afford and that will be gentle enough for me to use on BeanBean & BooBah and Bella (because I'm going to have to touch Bella after I put the sunscreen on her sibs!). It's depressing, but BooBah burns quite badly (she's a redhead), and I get eaten alive by mosquitoes...

I've decided that I need to spend more money on my clothing. This is depressing, but it's just a fact: I'm going to have to buy things that will last a long freaking time, through very hard wear and frequent washes. Things for the kids are generally easier to find than things for me. For some reason, thrift stores rarely have anything in my size (probably 14-16?) and when they do it's utter garbage. I've decided that I"m going to have to visit gap.com and keep my fingers crossed.

[lisac77]

I guess I can post here now... DS turns 3 on Saturday :

I wish we could spend all summer outside... it's too hot to be out much between the hours of 10 and 6 and I work in the evening. I do intend to take him swimming a lot though - a city adjacent to us has a free wading pool that's open every day. I'd also like to do a summer reading program with him if our library offers one for his age group (I hope they do!).

We recently planted flowers at my mom's house (her Mother's Day present). DS loved it and is constantly talking about flowers and how they need water to grow, etc. I want to talk to DH about having a small flower garden for him to help with. I think it would be a fun activity for us.

[tea olive]

rynna, good luck on the shopping. i ended up living with old navy tshirts for that reason. i finally have a decent wardrobe due to my panic going on a trip. it was funny because i have always been underdressed on going places to the point where i felt uncomfortable and was treated badly. so i get to berkeley and no one cares and i'm rubbing the warpaint off my face.

i don't have one decent pair of shorts though.

everyone has stuff to do, places to go. i guess it's just too hot for me here. i'm gonna fix up my house. hey, i bought my first thing from a school supply store today - an alphabet. it's so funny.

i've been so mildly annoyed with my family lately and tonight i talked to a friend who is going through real crap with her husband and suddenly, i'm not so annoyed anymore and very thankful.

[**guest**]

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[Mona]

weaning stuff

hey mamas-

i'm having some issues that i'm trying to work thru and want to get some wise women perspective. :P

I weaned K from breastfeeding every 20 min right around her 3rd birthday. It was pretty easy once I was firm about it. It seems for her it is either an all or none situation. If she has "munyas" once during the day, she wants them constantly. This is still true, as i gave in the other day. Once! Every since she has been asking for munyas during the day.

Anyway, I "hoped" that over time , after day weaning her, she'd naturally wean at night time. 6 months later and she still has gone to sleep w/ o munyas maybe 3 times in her life. I actually started night weaning about 3 weeks ago but then she got sick. What we did was had munyas once on each side then just cuddled to sleep. It worked one time w/ o issue, and two other times after lots of rolling around.
Then she got sick, then i got sick. Now we are back to square one.

I feel especially conflicted bc we are to move in 3 months. She is very attached to this situation and everyone who lives here.

Would it be better to wean her now, or wait another 4-5 months. (We'll be moving in 3 months, then i figure she'd need at least 2 months to settle b4 i introduced any other major life changes.)

i'm growing weary of the nursing. I have not gone out at night since she was born, since she always nurses before she sleeps. I'm trying to target this activity in my brain, but it seems like it is at the end of a very long tunnel atm.

I had wanted to do it on her own schedule, but I am also not wanting to nurse a 5 year old all day long, not to mention all night long, and believe me when i say, this child loves her munyas and I really doubt she would initiate seperation. My husband is also growing weary of the nursing. just not her personality.

I'm torn. I believe she has the "right" to have munyas as long as she emotionally needs them. But I have needs too. And, how can i tell if she nurses out of habit, or bc she emotionally needs them?

thanks for any insight you can throw my way.

[majazama]

Originally Posted by lizc

I am going absolutely crazy! Ds has been having massive temper tantrums for the past few weeks. They aren't getting better....They are getting worse! Argh. When he has them at home, it's not too bad because I can just walk away (though I worry about what my neighbors think) but he mostly has them in public. Certainly can't walk away from it!
I'm sick of people looking at me like my child is a spoiled brat and that I have no clue. Oh, my ds has PDD and sensory issues but strangers don't know this. They just see a massive brat.
This is wearing me down mama's. Someone please tell me that your 3 yr old is having tantrums too...I don't want to think that ds's condition is getting worse.

Hugs,
Liz

liz~ FORGET what other people think. DO what's best for your son. My 3 has tantrums too, but usually at home. Its my 2 that I have to worry about, in that respect. I suggest really listening to him, don't walk away when he's tantruming. Be the rock that he craves. Sometimes I think kids can be sensitive to a part of their diet, or overstimulated (too much t.v.?)

mona~long time, no see.