Does your daughter know about your period?

[faeriewisp]

I was just reading a nice thread over in teens about talking to your daughter about her period, and there are cool links to info about celebrating your daughter's first cycle with her.

WHat I wanna know is do your daughters even know that a period exists yet? My 5 year old has seen my tampons and has walked in on the process of me using one and asked what they were. I told her a "remedy." She doesn't know there's any blood involved. SHe does know that I bled after her sister was born.

But I want to talk to her about it beforehand, and I think it'd be great to already know it was something I experience before she hears about if from somewhere else. I also want it to be enough of a fact of life so she can truly enjoy celebrating her beginning.

But 5 is too young to bring it up with her IMO. When do you think a mother should tell her girl about the cycle?

[kewb]

My daughter knows a little bit(and so does my ds). They have both seen the supplies and asked what they are for. She is turning 6. I have given her a brief description of what it is and why but no in depth details yet.

[MsDoula]

My sister brought this up with my neice when her youngest was born and she was bleeding postpartum. My neice was about 5 at the time. She just explained that all girls have it when they get older, it happens once a month, and it doesn't hurt. It's a very normal thing to my neice now, and she's only six. A couple of months back my sis started her period in the middle of the day and excused herself rather quickly from the family. My neice said, 'oh mom, is it your period? Do you need me to bring you some more panties?' LoL She then proceeded to take a clean pair of panties to her mom in the bathroom saying, here you go mom, I brought you pink.

My daughter will be six in October and I have yet to explain it to her. I thought the opportunity would present itself after I had my baby in March, but it didn't really. She saw blood, but I think it was enough for her that I was bleeding from having the baby.

[luckylady]

My ever curious DD has inquired about tampons and why I was bleeding. I told her it's a part of hte nature of girls bodies, and she will have a period too when she's older. she asked if it hurt and that was that.

[Ellien C]

yes - my 3 yo understand that grown-up women have a little blood and tissue at certain times and she knows I use cloth pads. She sort of thinks of the pad as my diaper. She thought it was poop once and i had to explain what it was.

I think 5 is not too young and I think you should tells boys and girls about menstruation whenever they ask about it, just like most anything else.

[FrozenMommy]

Just go with what works for your daughter...

as for the ceremony, my mom made a big deal out of me getting my first period and I HATED it...it seemed like a very personal thing to me and I certainly didn't want the whole world knowing about it!! (Not to mention I was a late bloomer anyway, so I was already embarassed about being later than all my friends).

[twilight girl]

I agree with the philosophy that a child is old enough for X discussion/topic when the child asks or expresses interest.

My DD is very curious about my period, tampons, etc. So, I try to tell her as much as I can, and if she doesn't understand, she asks more questions. She just turned 4, but has been asking about this probably since she was 3.

She knows all the words for her female anatomy, vulva, vagina, uterus, and knows that a baby grows inside a mama's uterus, etc. If she is old enough to inquire, she is old enough to get a straight answer IMO.

Judi

[Karennnnn]

Lol.. my son is 5.5 and has known about it for a while now. When exactly I have no idea, but it's been at least a year. He asks, I tell in a way he can understand. Simple as that.
He knows that to have a baby, "ingredients" have to be combined from a man and a woman. A woman's ingredients are there every month, and if they don't get combined by a certain time, the comfy stuff inside of her uterus comes out. He seemed fine with that.
One of my biggest peeves is that there are so many men (women even!) who have no idea about a woman's anatomy or how her body works. It's one of my important goals for my children to know these things.
Not that they'll be at much of a lower risk for things like teenage sex/pregnancy (or ADULT for that matter lmao!), but they'll at least know how things work and be able to own their mistakes should one happen. KWIM?
I once read a story about a woman who had gotten pregnant and was in labor, and at the time she was in labor didn't even know where the baby would be coming out from; she thought the baby would come out of her mouth!!!! After that she became a midwife Of course this was looong ago but I wouldn't be suprised if there were people who still were this naive.
I once had a male ask me if girls pooped. Dead serious.
So yes, ladies, it's my life's work to inform the masses
Karen

[Karennnnn]

One more thing re: a ceremony...
If my mom had done this I would have been MORTIFIED.
When I got my first period I told no one; I used toilet paper instead of pads/tampons. My mom found my underwear and asked; that was that.
I don't know if I would have been more open had we talked about it prior, but I know there are girls who would just like to keep it private.

[KaraBoo]

My 7 1/2 dd has known about menstruation for a long time now. As she gets older, the discussion becomes more and more specific. She knows it's not something that is horrible and to be feared or dreaded. I see it as a cleansing thing and so does she.

[kamilla626]

I think it's reasonable to answer kids' questions simply and honestly - regardless of their age. Our bathroom door is usually wide open, so when dd was 2 and saw me changing my cloth pad, and said "What's that diaper for?" I told her.

I told her that I don't have a boo-boo, but that it's my period...it's "healthy blood" that comes from my vagina sometimes.... that it doesn't hurt, and it lasts a few days... that most women have a period. She made the conclusion herself that when she's a "grown up" she will "have blood the way mommy does" and she already seems almost excited about it!

I haven't explained all about ovulation and hormones, but I plan to continue answering whatever questions she asks. I don't think there's a certain cut-off age for giving information about our bodies. It's more a matter of how much they can understand and be comfortable with as they grow.

[candipooh]

Originally Posted by Karennnnn

I once had a male ask me if girls pooped. Dead serious.
So yes, ladies, it's my life's work to inform the masses
Karen

I had a 24 year old male friend that thought girls had two holes. One for poop and one for pee. And the one for pee was also the one for sex and birth.

I have three daughters age 7 almost 3 and almost 4. They all know about my period. I explain it kind of like Karennnnn does. Except I say 'egg' from mom and 'seed' or 'sperm' from dad. I just try to be matter-of-fact with it. My oldest has pieced things together and I think she knows how the 'seed/sperm' get into mom. Thanks in part to the nature type shows we watch and those frisky animals She even asked when watching two bears mating "is that what daddy does to you?" I was blushing inside but kept my cool and my matter-of-fact voice and said "yes, that is how you got here"

We also look at pictures in books that show the inside of a woman's anatomy and where the egg travels from and where the sperm get in and meat the egg.

My daughters will come into the bathroom and help me get pads. "Use this one mom" Yah for cool colors and cloth pads.

When my daughter's are grown and someone asks them when they first learned about sex and reproduction then they will not be able to pin point it. I hope they say "I can't remember when I learned about it. I just grew up knowing" not my answer of "my cousin told me and I didn't believe him, I thought he was telling a sick joke"

I think menstration and reproduction go hand in hand.

[Clarinet]

My daughter's almost four and I am just not allowed to use the bathroom alone with the door closed . She knows what happens because she saw it and asked but she hasn't asked why so I didn't mention it. I figure when she wants to know more, she'll ask but of course I'll tell her about periods before she has one.

[seeking sisters]

It seems like my son has always been in the bathroom with me. So he's seen the blood and the process.
My response to his inquiries is that, "this is my moon time. Every month every woman has a moon time, it is a way for our bodies to cleanse."
As he gets older and his questions get more specific so will my answers.
I am just happy to know that I am raising my son to not be grossed by and to respect women's cycles.

[afishwithabike]

DD has walked in on me several times while I was emptying my Diva Cup. I just tell her that's what makes Mommy a Mommy. She's two. I'll answer ANY question she has as it comes up. My Mom was VERY open about ALL this and I intend to be the same way. It keeps the lines of communication open IMO.

[quantumleap]

I'm sitting here, eating my lunch, and giggling to myself about this. I always knew about periods, and accepted them as normal, but apparently one day I asked how babies were made and got a VERY complete answer. I was probably about five. Eggs, hormones, sperm, uterine lining, ovaries, stds... anyway, entirely complete. Except for the part about how the sperm get in to fertilize the egg. I suddenly avoided my male friends at school, I had near panic attacks whenever I was touched by a boy (although, for some reason, my father was exempt from this fear), I would wake up sweating and screaming from nightmares where I was both pregnant and had aids. Eventually it did click that I wasn't old enough to get pregnant and that something more involved was required for an std.
So, while this is hilarious now, it wasn't at the time, and I was afraid to tell my mom that I thought I was pregnant and had aids because I thought she would be upset with me. Kids have funny little thoght processes sometimes. Anyway, all this to say, make sure your kids know that pregnancy and stds require more than hugging or brushing up against someone of the opposite sex, and that you have to have a period before you can have a baby (well, usually, but I don't think we need to get into that with four year olds)!
Best,
Katia

[**guest**]

dd is turning 4 tomorrow. she has seen me use the diva cup, both inserting and emptying. she knew about uterus holding the baby, when i was pregnant with her brother, so when she asked me about it, i told her that every month the uterus get renewed, and the old stuff comes out, and then the new comfy place for a baby gets built. i told her that the uterus does not know if a baby will be coming, so each months it gets 'new furniture'

she was comfortable with this explanation. i wanted to make sure she knew that there was no baby coming

there was no way for me to hide using the diva cup -- it took me a while in the beginning to insert it, and i asked her to wait outside, but dd was getting impatient and worried, as normally she is allowed in the bathroom.

[onlyzombiecat]

My dd is 6 and knows what a period is. I think she started noticing and asking questions when she was 4 years. She wanted to know about babies and her body parts too so this was related to that.
I don't think 5 is too young if your child is noticing and asking questions. I'd rather my dd had factual information presented in a calm open manner from the beginning. I want her to know it is not dirty or shameful and we can talk about it.
My dd knows that she will have a period when she gets older- that it is part of becomming a woman. I told her that she needs to have a period before she can be pregnant. I told her why a woman has a period when there isn't a baby growing inside. I told her that it happens every month and it doesn't hurt to bleed during a period. She sometimes says she is going to have a "purple period" instead of a red one.
I'll probably ask dd if she wants to do something special when she gets her first period. I'm not going to plan a ceremony but maybe a mother-daughter day.

[mata]

Originally Posted by kamilla626

I think it's reasonable to answer kids' questions simply and honestly - regardless of their age.

By the time she was almost four, my oldest daughter wanted to understand what was going on in pretty specific terms (but mom, [I]why[I] do you bleed?) We talked about the function of the uterus, ovaries/eggs and the uterine lining.

[faeriewisp]

THanks everyone! Yeah, when she sees blood and asks about it, I'll tell her. I didn't think that her wondering what the little white thing in my hand was was enough for me to start explaining the things she couldn't see yet. I think if I used cloth pads we would have probably had the discussion already!

FOr those of you who would have been mortified by a ceremony, my point is that I want us to be very open about it in the first place so that embarrassment will be the last thing on her mind. I would have thought it was weird if my mom tried to celebrate with me, after we had barely ever even talked about it.

I really like the way you descirbed it, seeking sisters! It's very gentle and true and not too scientific and positive! I will definitely say something along the lines of this being my cleansing time! DD already knows that when she bleeds from a cut it is cleansing.