Writing through the fear...

[BabyBumblebee]

I hope it's okay for me to post this as a thought or two: I haven't ever had the guts to post here, but have been lurking since I joined MDC.

So here's the thing: how do you get past the fear? The fear of criticism, the interior monologue that critiques every word you write? I would dearly love to start writing again - my gosh, it's been years (18 at a guess ) - but I'm just so scared that what Ithink is good is actually dross. I'm sure I can't be alone in this fear; how many people manage to get through school without carrying some of this unease around? I'd dearly love to hear how you silence that inner critic...

[BelovedK]

Well, my writers group helps. Usually when I read an assignment out loud to them, I think it is horrible, invariably I usually get either good feedback, or constructive feedback. I feel safe there to write the most horrible drivel, so I find myself writing. Keeping a stream of consciousness journal also helps, just keeping the pen moving.

I also say to myself 'cancel' or 'delete' whenever *bad* thoughts creep in...if you think it's good, that's all that really matters, unless you are going for publication.

[marsupial*mama]

I think it helps immensely to start with writing about what you know best, what moves you most, your own memories and experiences etc. Why not start by writing about the teacher who belittled you so much that you now can't silence your inner critic?

Consider it her exorcism.

ETA, I wish I had a writing group.

[quaz]

Originally Posted by BabyBumblebee

I hope it's okay for me to post this as a thought or two: I haven't ever had the guts to post here, but have been lurking since I joined MDC.

So here's the thing: how do you get past the fear? The fear of criticism, the interior monologue that critiques every word you write? I would dearly love to start writing again - my gosh, it's been years (18 at a guess ) - but I'm just so scared that what Ithink is good is actually dross. I'm sure I can't be alone in this fear; how many people manage to get through school without carrying some of this unease around? I'd dearly love to hear how you silence that inner critic...

What you might want to do... just start writing/posting on here.
State explicitly you don't want feedback. Absolutely no feedback. Then at least you will get used to the idea of other people reading your work.


For me, I write for myself... and maybe that is the big thing for me, and why I'm not too concerned. The way I look at criticism... it's a good thing. It's a way for me to learn about my writing... and some of the input I may or may not agree with, BUT it will give me a different perspective on my writing. Kwim?

Ironically, I don't care too much about feedback on my work (and btw, I've never seen people here, although I haven't read here recently, blast anything.. most input is constructive....), but I had the fear you describe when it came time for my annual review... and I had it b/c I reallllly valued the opinion of my manager whom I respected. Reviews were a nightmare for me b/c of that.

Tammy

[**guest**]

i read a book called Resilient Writer. it is comprised of interviews about rejections, about a dozen or more famous writers were interviewed. it was incredibly refreshing and terrifying at the same time. Amy Tan, whose succes was pretty much instantenous, she didn't get a single rejection of her first novel, is severely depressed and terrified of criticism. many others are like that.

i read an interview with Marageret Atwood, and she said she was terrified of writing a telephone book, and that no one would tell her, because she is so famous.

i often have very little objectivity about my writing. sometimes i think what i've written is very good, and others tell me to open my eyes and point out problems. other times, i feel i've written crap, and everybody else loves it, and then i start loving it too (well, depends who says what. it has to be someone i trust).

i find that often when i write something very fast, it almost has no value to me. i don't feel i've worked hard on them. yet often they are the best.

it is terrifying not to be able to see one's own faults.

what really helped me was nanowrimo.org. i did the whole 50k last november. you have to write FAST. you don't have time to even reread. i just typed and typed and typed. when december came i sat down and started writing flash fiction, enjoying the slow pace, and the opportunity to work on every sentence. nano was incredibly liberating. it was almost like afer nano, you can do anything.

[marsupial*mama]

i find that often when i write something very fast, it almost has no value to me. i don't feel i've worked hard on them. yet often they are the best.

Absolutely! I feel the same way! And the feedback I receive from those easy, inspired writings is always better than the ones I have laboured over.

And if it moves me to tears to write it - it tends to move the reader too. I've learned to trust my emotions rather than rely on my writing being 'correct' and 'to style'. It's best to find your own voice, yk?

[phoebemommy]

I had a professor who was really down on the publishing institution and the university creative writing program institution and had a lot of wise things to say about criticism and creativity. Something that stuck with me was this: if you're writing, it's most important that you write things you love. So much of what's out there in the world, a lot of what's published, even, is written to please an audience, and invariably it doesn't. Sure, maybe people read it and "approve," but very rarely do people love it. They just read it (or not) and say "hmm," then go on with their lives. So if you write something and you're the only one who loves it, it's so much better than writing something that people accept but nobody loves.

[Jael]

Sweetie, I can already tell by your post that you have little to worry about. I felt your words. My advice to you is to just do it, even if you have to do it afraid.

I can't really offer you any more than that. I can't recall a time when rejection has ever truly bothered me. Perhaps that's because, even when I've published, I've written to please myself. If I'm happy with it, it really doesn't bother me much if others hate it. In fact, I can recall a couple of articles I've written on a deadline that I wasn't 100% satisfied with (which is why I hate deadlines), but I did my best in the time allowed. While they weren't my best work, they were my best effort. I ended up getting good reviews on both of them. While I don't like anyone to read an unfinished, unedited work, I do enjoy constructive criticism on a finished product. And, usually, the criticism is just that...constructive.

I imagine the day is coming when I'll get an awful review, but I've built enough confidence in my writing to not fear it before it happens. And, when it does happen, I look forward to the lesson.

Please write, BabyBumblebee. If it's in you to do so, you owe it to yourself to do you.

[Kymburlee]

You've been given some fantastic advice here. I think the key element is sharing. If you wrap yourself up in your fear, all you'll hear is that insidious little voice telling you you're no good. The only way I've found to escape that trap is to take the proverbial leap of faith and put my writing out there.

There's a multitude of websites where you can share your writing and get feedback. Invariably, some feedback is bad, some is good. Much like art, writing is subjective. You will touch different people in different ways. Acknowledge that from the beginning, and you'll find a greater feeling of peace.

Don't ask for feedback if you can't, in your heart of hearts, accept it. More often than not, writing is hard work. Multiple revisions and rewrites are the standard. Constructive criticism is a wonderful gift, as I said, if we can accept it. Destructive criticism is out there too - ignore it. It has no value.

The only way to discover how talented you are is to exercise that talent. If you remain as you are, listening to that inner monologue, what do you accomplish? The internet is a lovely resource for writers. What do you stand to lose? The good opinion of a handfull of strangers?

What you stand to gain is infinitely precious. A sense of peace. Self-confidence. The ability to express yourself and touch those around you.

It's worth the risk, isn't it?

[BabyBumblebee]

Thank you all so much for your thoughts. Since posting first I have been writing a 'hidden' blog - it's been great to just write, without re-reading and purging and picking it to death. The more I write the freer I get...