Baby dilemma

[sbm1001]

I need some advice/opinions on what you think about finding out the gender of this baby. I'm dying to know. Dh wants to wait. He's wanted to wait with my last 2 pg's, too....I just suck at holding out & I am a need to know as much as possible kind of person.

Do I find out, against dh's wishes? Do I wait & grant him this request, knowing this is most likely our last child? Do I find out & not tell him?

: Help!!

Shannon

[bc1995]

Would he be ok with you finding out but keeping it to yourself? I wouldn't do it unless he knew you were going to. With my last pregnancy we had decided dh would know, but I wouldn't. I ended up deciding to go ahead and find out, too, on the way to the u/s. We were just going to have the tech write it on a piece of paper and have dh look at it later.

[Fuamami]

I don't think there's any way I could keep it to myself. I'm also wondering about this. We didn't look with either of our other children, but I had no gender preference before either. And now, I'm embarrassed to admit, I want a girl. So I kind of feel like if I had some advance warning I wouldn't feel any negativity at the birth if it was a boy. Does that make any sense?

Maybe your dh will get impatient further along. Would you skip an ultrasound otherwise? Or are you getting it anyway? Maybe you can just hope you'll be able to see.

[momma2girls]

With my first I wanted to know b/c I was 19 and it would just make it a lot easier to know what to get. It made sense to me. With my second at first I didn't want to know but then I had to know for my own sanity (long story) and even at the birth I was still questioning is it still a girl? This pregnancy I am planning on not finding out. I don't think I could keep it from Dh if I did find out and didn't tell him. He would figure it out b/c I wouldn't be able to resist buying clothes.
Can you compromise and since you didn't find out with the others then you can with this one?

[Mrs_Hos]

I love surprises so we won't find out before hand...

I know it is hard, but for your dh I would wait...easy for me to say since I like surprises right? Since you found out the last 2, I would do it for him...and you may find out that you like it! Then you will have to have another one just for the surprise! hahahha

[sbm1001]

If he knew I knew the gender he'd want to know, I think. I had the u/s tech write down the sex, 2 pg's ago, on a piece of paper because dh was with me. We were going to decide whether or not to open it together but I couldn't wait & he knew I couldn't. I had to try to keep it secret for 6 long months that I knew & what the gender was....it was SO hard! It was me constantly choosing my words carefully, not saying "he" or "she" too many times, always wondering if I said "he" too much & he'd figured it out. Drove me crazy, which is why if I find out he won't know I know, yk? :P

I'm actually leaning towards not finding out now, just because I know how much he wants to find out when we get to meet this little person for the first time, face to face. As for clothing I have tons of boy stuff, my youngest being a fall baby & only 8 months old now, so it's all new too. I have a best friend who had a girl the month before & she wants to give me all her girl clothes if this is a girl. I really don't need to do any shopping for clothes at all, is what I'm trying to say, & as for bedding I don't do a crib/decorate a room since we co-sleep.

Also, I would love to have another boy, as much as I'd love to finally have a girl. I doubt after laboring & pushing out a baby, with all the hard work involved, I'd be disappointed with whatever I got (even if I were really hoping for one gender over the other) yk?

Shannon

[boscopup]

My DH doesn't want to find out either, but I really want to this time around (didn't find out last time). But I think my DH is going to just give in and find out.

How good are you at keeping secrets? I had a co-worker who didn't want to find out with his first kid, but his wife really wanted to know. So the wife did find out and the DH didn't. It was really funny... The wife would send little notes from the baby, and sign them some cute baby nickname, and he would be trying to figure out if she was saying it was a girl, or if she was trying to make him think it was a girl, etc. Ended up being a boy, and she kept the secret the whole time!

I couldn't do it though. I'd somehow give in and break the news to DH, whether intentionally or not.

[Naughty Dingo]

We have been in the reverse of your situation in our all of our pregnancies up until now.

Do you think you could find out without him knowing you found out? Do you think you could keep the secrets that you found out and also the gender? If so then you should just find out and then you can make whatever preparations you need without him being tempted or disappointed. But I think it would be really hard if he knew you know. It might cause some tension for you both.

You could ask the US tech to check and then call you at a later point to let you know. Or to just put it in your medical record and you can find out at your next appointment.

We are finding out this time because DH still wants to know and I am less against it than previously. A big part of my acceptance of this is that while I carry the baby and labor, it is his pregnancy and baby too. And I want to honor that. I have to say, the idea of finding out has grown on me.

In the end, it may not be up to you, baby may be bashful at the wrong time

ND