Blanket training - Page 3

[Brigianna]

Originally Posted by Nora'sMama

I'd like to think it was rare to spank a baby, but I have seen my own cousins do it to their dc ...it is not at all uncommon in rural Louisiana, where I have family. I would be shocked, however, to see anyone I know here in California spank their baby. Different culture.

Here in Georgia spanking is really, really common, but usually not in infancy--it's illegal to hit a child younger than 2. But the dedicated child-torture fetishists are secretive about what they do, so maybe it's unfortunately more common than I realize.

I never heard of blanket-training, though, until I heard about the Duggar family! Sadly, through my kindergarten experience, I *did* know about paddles. I got paddled once in K, for leaving the single-file line down to the playground to look at something, and it was such a humiliating experience that it has overshadowed anything positive I might have otherwise remembered from Kindergarten. It was so nice the next year in 1st grade when we moved back to CA and I didn't have to fear my teacher anymore.

(Sorry to go a bit OT! But thinking about the paddle brought back awful memories.)

I'm so sorry. That is disgusting. I will never understand the intense hatred these people have for innocent children.

[Brigianna]

Originally Posted by pookel

I see the other thread is closed, but I just wanted to comment that your actions seem reasonable enough to me. My son is another one who is good at understanding requests and doing what he's asked, but can't stand to be confined. And he's also always been independent - doesn't want to be held or bothered when he's busy playing. So I can see something like this working on him (and he certainly would have screamed his displeasure if it wasn't suited to him).

I guess I don't see "stay on the blanket" as being any different from "stay away from the DVD shelf," which we successfully taught Corbin at around the same age. And I don't see what's so "un-AP" about it, except for its unfortunate similarity to the method involving wooden paddles.

Yeah, it definately depends on the kid and his temperment. It wasn't a problem for my kids, but I could never blanket-train my baby cousin because he hates to be put down for even a short time. I never would have thought anything of it, but MDC has opened my eyes to the dark, dark side of child care.

[Nora'sMama]

Well, I don't think my cousins are child-torture fetishists...it's just that if you choose to "pop" your 11-month-old on the leg or swat his butt for grabbing something, not everyone will approve, but it isn't considered beyond the pale there. I never saw the cousins that do this act sadistically; in their mind, they were being "firm" and teaching obedience. It is really really sad to see someone hit a baby, especially your own cousin. Luckily I have never seen this since I had Nora - I would not have been able to restrain myself from giving this particular cousin a piece of my mind. (Just to clarify, most of my relatives would not do this, although they might spank an older child.)

As far as my K teacher, you know, I think part of her *did* (and does, she's still teaching ) feel an "intense hatred" for children. She seemed to enjoy telling the class whose turn it was to be paddled. She ran an extremely tight ship, which makes no sense for a KINDERGARTEN. I doubt that most teachers who use corporal punishment use it as liberally and as gleefully as she. She has a DD my age, too (who was not in my class) - doesn't make sense why she would be so full of rage at kids. But, she was. I wish I had been able to tell my mother about it - she might very well have pulled me out of school. It is really sad IMO that corporal punishment is still allowed in schools, in some states (don't know about GA).

I read some of the blanket training thread and am surprised, frankly, that you were able to make the training "stick" without ten million repetitions. I have never tried to train DD to do anything, but I can't imagine that just putting her back on the blanket a few times would have been enough to "blanket train" her!! She would have thought it was a game and I can imagine her gladly leading me to "chase" her back onto the blanket for as long as I could stand it... I do think that babyproofing and/or closing off rooms is far far preferable to training a child not to get off a blanket, no matter how gently the training is accomplished. Is this something that is done a lot in GA?

[Brigianna]

Originally Posted by Nora'sMama

Well, I don't think my cousins are child-torture fetishists...it's just that if you choose to "pop" your 11-month-old on the leg or swat his butt for grabbing something, not everyone will approve, but it isn't considered beyond the pale there. I never saw the cousins that do this act sadistically; in their mind, they were being "firm" and teaching obedience. It is really really sad to see someone hit a baby, especially your own cousin. Luckily I have never seen this since I had Nora - I would not have been able to restrain myself from giving this particular cousin a piece of my mind. (Just to clarify, most of my relatives would not do this, although they might spank an older child.)

Oh, I wasn't referring to your cousins, but people like the Pearls, etc. They do qualify as child-torture fetishists IMO. But it is disturbing in any case.

As far as my K teacher, you know, I think part of her *did* (and does, she's still teaching ) feel an "intense hatred" for children. She seemed to enjoy telling the class whose turn it was to be paddled. She ran an extremely tight ship, which makes no sense for a KINDERGARTEN. I doubt that most teachers who use corporal punishment use it as liberally and as gleefully as she. She has a DD my age, too (who was not in my class) - doesn't make sense why she would be so full of rage at kids. But, she was. I wish I had been able to tell my mother about it - she might very well have pulled me out of school. It is really sad IMO that corporal punishment is still allowed in schools, in some states (don't know about GA).

I was interpreting hanging up a paddle to intimidate children as a sign of intense hatred of them. I've seen that kind of attitude a lot among teachers; I don't know why.

Yes, corporal punishment is legal in schools here, although I don't think it's used very often in public schools. I've heard that in some of the private schoouls the kids are hit a lot morea often.

I read some of the blanket training thread and am surprised, frankly, that you were able to make the training "stick" without ten million repetitions. I have never tried to train DD to do anything, but I can't imagine that just putting her back on the blanket a few times would have been enough to "blanket train" her!! She would have thought it was a game and I can imagine her gladly leading me to "chase" her back onto the blanket for as long as I could stand it... I do think that babyproofing and/or closing off rooms is far far preferable to training a child not to get off a blanket, no matter how gently the training is accomplished. Is this something that is done a lot in GA?

It did take some repetition with my standging over them, but they didn't resist. I don't know how common it is here. I know I was blanket-trained as a baby in Wisconsin, and people I know from various places have done it. I actually thought it was fairly common everywhere.

[Brigianna]

I found this on the Duggars' family website at http://www.jimbob.info/faq.html

Child Training Tip-With 6 little boys age 5 and under we’ve enjoyed much more peace, harmony, & order in our home since a friend shared with us about ‘blanket time’. We began this training four years ago, when our second set of twins were 17 months old. They started learning self-control & obedience by sitting quietly on a blanket playing with a few toys. The key words are ‘sit’ & ‘quiet’! At first, we practiced 5 minutes, 2-3 times a day, & worked up to 10-20 minutes at a time. This one tip has changed the atmosphere of our home tremendously. We don’t have little ones tearing up the house as often & getting into things while we are busy. Occasionally, we still have those moments, but over all the little ones are content. This frees us to be able to accomplish more in our day! We have since, transferred this training to other areas, such as sitting during worship services, shopping trips & when visiting with company…etc. It’s teaching them responsibility (knowing & doing what both God & others are expecting of them) at an early age.

So no mention of spanking. They don't really say how they taught them though.

But they are certainly a beautiful family.

[IdentityCrisisMama]

Originally Posted by JamesMama

...we were discussing them because of the new show

What show?

[IdentityCrisisMama]

Oh that TLC show about the family...Oh good, I thougt there was some Nanny 911 show about these people.

[Nora'sMama]

Brigianna, it doesn't sound *to me* like they hit them to blanket-train. I've seen the TV special on the Duggars and honestly they seem like fairly peaceful people and while they are definitely traditionalists (of a sort!) they don't seem like big punishers, either. I think their dc definitely know what is expected of them but it doesn't seem like there are a lot of threats or violence used (if any) to accomplish this. My personal opinion is that they are nuts to have so many kids (and Quiverfull or no Quiverfull, when you have 16 kids THAT IS A CHOICE YOU ARE MAKING), but if anyone could have 16 kids and make it look easy and like a choice that ISN'T nuts, they can!

(how's that for a backhanded compliment, Mrs. Duggar? )

[maya44]

Originally Posted by Junebug

Wow! I've never heard of it happening any other way!

so, do tell... how does one blanket "train" a baby AP style???
I'm just trying to imagine my toddler quietly hanging out on a blanket on her own accord.:



...nope, can't do it!

I can't imagine blanket training but I will tell you that all of my three dd's would have absolutely done this if I asked them as toddlers.

Some children are just by their very own nature compliant. I know I was. My mom always tells me how she used to put me on the bottom step of our bungalow and tell me not to move when she hung up the laundry and I never ever did. Ever.

She was suprised when my little brother was not the same way.

I am a rule follower. This is where my "comfort zone" is. And my dd's are the same.

[EvansMomma]

I would imagine there is a huge difference between a TODDLER wanting to listen to their Mama, but a 8 month old baby? I am having a really hard time believing that they have the capabilities to think that way. At that age, babies are still being driven by instinct, not complex thoughts.

[JamesMama]

Originally Posted by IdentityCrisisMama

What show?

On the road with 16 kids (or something like that) June 11, 8eastern I think...:

[JamesMama]

Hmmm, my mom says she can remember being paddled in 2nd grade for asking to go to the bathroom. Luckily I'm younger (22) so I have never been paddled in school. My parents used to hit us (my middle brother and I...my baby brother came after my mom decided spanking is wrong) with a wooden paddle, about 1/4th of an inch thick with holes drilled in it so there is no wind resistance (seriously)...I'm glad my mom doesn't spank and my little brother has never had a spanking...

[Kathryn]

Originally Posted by Brigianna

Oh yeah I'd heard of him...

Is it possible they use his curriculum but not his parenting advice? I know a couple of people who used Gothard curiculum but I don't think they spanked babies (they spanked older kids though, sadly).

I sincerely doubt it. They are huge Gothardites. They boys are planning to go to Gothard college, etc..

[bamamom]

i saw a couple of the shows on them........IRL i know a lot of quiverfull families, the biggest of which has ten kids.

I was fairly impressed with ms duggars ability to keep things running smoothly, and it is common in these large families for older kids to help school the younger. It is supposed to help the older ones by compounding what they have already learned in earlier years...

I was wondering if they spank...I never saw anything to that effect on the shows, but those kids surely are well behaved.

I am saddened to hear that she intentionally weans them early. THAT is not God's design for our bodies, IMHO.

[BlueStateMama]

Free Jinger!!!

[scruggle]

Originally Posted by boongirl

This sounds like training a dog. Not that I would do this with my dog, but it does not sound like anything a human would do with a human.

That's exactly what I was thinking! How can someone treat thier children with so little respect. Why do these people have so many kids if they don't want to take care of them?

[scruggle]

Spanking is not the only form of punishment these children endure by being "blanket trained" As a self-proclaimed child development expert (and teacher of young children) I KNOW that young children (under 3 years old) should not be subject to sitting still on a blanket for any period of time. They should be free to explore all that they can explore safely. Plus, if the child is "blanket trained", what is mom doing while Juniors sitting on the blanket. Children need thier parents attention. Especially if we want them to be safe.

[Kathryn]

If they listen so well as to stay on the blanket without hitting them, why not just ask them to not do what you're keeping them from by blanket training them? Makes more sense.

[Nora'sMama]

Originally Posted by BlueStateMama

Free Jinger!!!

Is this a movement? It is hard for me to see her name and not pronounce it in my head as "Jeenger" with a hard "g". I think they were really stretching to make Ginger into a "J" name. Why not Josephine? I don't think they have used that one.

[AnneNic]

Why would anyone do that to a child? Ugh!

I don't understand why anyone would want to blanket train a child. A child that age should be supervised.