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Summer 2006 Student Mamas Thread - Page 3

post #41 of 119
6/25/06 at 7:42pm
Thread Starter 
Collegemama - I don't know how well you typically do on standardized exams, but I didn't study for the GRE and did quite well. The site that I tested at was electronic, so I took the exam and walked out with my scores in hand. Good luck.

Pynki - sucks about the one score pulling down your grade. how many more exams do you have to pull it back up?
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post #42 of 119
6/25/06 at 9:07pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dmitrizmom
Collegemama - I don't know how well you typically do on standardized exams, but I didn't study for the GRE and did quite well. The site that I tested at was electronic, so I took the exam and walked out with my scores in hand. Good luck.
Thanks! Mine will be electronic as well. It's been a while since I've taken a standardized exam, but I think I know pretty well how to take them. I bought the GRE book and am looking over the math stuff because that's my weakest area and should be the easiest to study for.
post #43 of 119
6/26/06 at 10:23am
Hi everyone, chiming in late.

I am taking Zoology for the first summer semester and, let me tell you (as if you need to be told,) it's a lot of work compressed into a little time.

I'm doing pretty well, I have reason to hope for an A.
post #44 of 119
6/26/06 at 10:26am
Can anyone tell me how long it takes the Feds to send a PIN via email, so I can complete these absurd financial aid forms?

(At least they're not as bad as the tuition forms for my daughter's school. : )
post #45 of 119
6/26/06 at 11:04am
From memory, I think it may take up to a day or two. (I forget mine every time.)

Thanks for reminding me about the debt I'm piling up.
post #46 of 119
6/26/06 at 11:47am
Quote:
Originally Posted by DebraBaker

Thanks for reminding me about the debt I'm piling up.
Anytime! Just remember, student loans are good debt!
post #47 of 119
6/26/06 at 12:23pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Just remember, student loans are good debt!
and
Quote:
Thanks for reminding me about the debt I'm piling up.
I don't even want to think about my repayment. : As of right now, I'm going to have to take independent loans because I hit the Federal maximum within the next 6 months. (and yes, there is a federal max on how much you can take for student loans - ~$189,235.00)
post #48 of 119
6/26/06 at 3:22pm
Oh, if my dreams come true, I'll be flirting with that figure.
post #49 of 119
6/26/06 at 3:55pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dmitrizmom
Pynki - sucks about the one score pulling down your grade. how many more exams do you have to pull it back up?
It does suck. I have 2 more exams but most of it is lab work and assignment points and things like that. So. If I keep getting A's on all of that I should still be able to pull a high B or A out of the class.

I suppose it's partially my own fault. I "talk" too much during the essay portion and just ran out of time at the end.
post #50 of 119
6/26/06 at 6:49pm
Just lurking.

I'm tossing around the idea of going back to school and am trying to get a feel for life as a student mama. You guys are awsome,and I am way intimidated by all these classes and papers and tests, oh my.

Just felt weird hanging out w/out telling oyu I was here. :
post #51 of 119
6/27/06 at 4:39am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dmitrizmom
(and yes, there is a federal max on how much you can take for student loans - ~$189,235.00)
Let me calculate how long I can really go to school
post #52 of 119
6/27/06 at 8:26am
Hey!

You're stealing my material.

I'm known to say I'm trying to stay out of the job market as long as I can

I'd say four years of undergrad, four years of grad, three years of residency sounds about time to retire
post #53 of 119
6/27/06 at 10:29pm
I got surprised by my pregnancy last year after just starting in a new PhD program. I did research and took coursework up until my birth and figured on taking 12 weeks maternity leave. While on leave, my proposal to NSF and my advisor's proposals to NSF and NIH were both denied, so we ran out of funding. I was secretly elated, as it meant I could be a SAHM. Much to my chagrin, a week later another prof I had worked with offered to pick me up for two years on one of his projects. He said he would be very flexible and got the academics office to agree to allow me to spread out my coursework over two years and take my quals after that. He said he would understand my not being able to work huge hours in the lab as well.

I was so mad to even have this come up as an option. My husband feels I will regret not doing it (and also needs my loans to be in deferral really, as well as needing my my stipend in order for us to have any extra money or emergency money at all). I sort of want to finish (I did my thesis-based masters almost ten years ago and worked for a long time in my industry), but I cannot imagine leaving my baby in the care of anyone else. I especially will *not* do daycare. The thought of my infant in daycare makes me cry.

I figure I can afford maybe 600-700 a month on my stipend for childcare, which could get me a decent nanny for maybe 20 hours a week. I feel I would miss out on so much with my baby though, and in addition to being out of the house for research I would have to do homework and write papers which could take me away from her at night as well.

I have to pump exclusively for her also, and have a hard time imagining how to manage that and work on my PhD. (It just adds so much to my plate).

I am just so confused. I never wanted children of my own and now I can't imagine loving anything else as much as I do her. I feel I *should* complete my PhD, especially with the opportunities presented me, but am at a loss whenever I even think about how it would impact my child. I would prefer to be a SAHM forever, but I have $80,000 in student loans to pay back one day. We also are recovering from economic devastation from when I got laid off from my job in field and we ran through our life savings and had to sell our house at a loss, so I guess we both think I should get back into my field one day so we can have a house again.

I am almost 36, so putting it off until she is 2-3 years old is possible, bnut might be harder then that it already is (being old and having forgotten more than I care to believe in terms of math and stuff).

Sorry to be so long, I just feel so torn and had to lay some of it out on paper. (so to speak)
post #54 of 119
6/27/06 at 10:33pm
Here's how much of a dork I am:
I just finished my independent study, had my last day of work in the lab on Monday and I'm bored out of my skull.
I'm actually doing research on the PsychInfo database about stuff just cause I'm curious.: Of course, I should be studying for the GRE, but that's not as interesting as the psychology stuff.
I'm due July 7th, please tell me that once the baby comes I'll be too braindead to be this bored.
I barely remember what it was like when DS was born, except I do remember staring at him all day amazed at his beauty.

Swirly - I don't really know what to tell you because it seems like the universe, or God or whatever, has sent this your way. But...your feelings about being a SAHM are certainly valid. If the Prof. is willing to be super flexible, maybe it's worth a try and if you feel it is taking you away from your child too much you could quit. Would it cost you financially to do that? I mean would you owe the school money if you started but then decided it wasn't working for you?
Bottom line is that you have to do what you are comfortable doing. It's diffficult because babies do grow up really fast, but you can still have quality time with your child even if you aren't there all the time. KWIM?
But, as you said, you can always go back later. You might forget some things, but it will all come back to you after you're back in it again.
Sorry I wasn't much help!
post #55 of 119
6/28/06 at 4:11am
Wow, I bet your confused Swirly. Great Big Hugs.

Will they take you back around 6 months? How is the child care at the school? If she was close you could take breaks and be with her during the day. I don't suppose your husband would change his schedule around, would he
post #56 of 119
6/28/06 at 6:13pm
The childcare center on campus doesn't have the best reputation and has a year long waiting list. We actually got notified a spot was available to us the weekend I got laid off my other project so we didn't accept it! The center is far, far away (huge campus) so seeing her at all wouldn't be possible. University of Florida is truly horrible for moms whether they are students, employees, or profs (great for dads...very sexist still).

She will be 6 months old if I return in August. That still seems so little to me, and she is very high needs. She has reflux and it takes an hour or more to feed her a few ounces of EBM.

My husband can't change his hours at work much, as he is art director for a chemical company and needs to be there during business hours, but he watches her in the evening for me so I can unwind a bit now anyway.

You ladies are so kind with your support. I admire you for being able to do courses and mommying. You give me hope.
post #57 of 119
6/28/06 at 10:51pm
Swirly - 6 months is very young, especially if you don't have a daycare or family member in mind that you are totally comfortable with to take care of her while you're at school.
Keep pondering, I bet the answer will become clearer and clearer. I took 5 years off from school in my mid-twenties to work and it only took me a semester to get back in the swing of things. I was successful that first semester, I just had to spend a bit more time studying and memorizing to get things down. After that it's become easier and easier, so keep that in mind. The brain is a wonderful thing and just needs a little exercise to get back in shape!

ETA - I just got my grade for my Independent Study - I got an A!!!!!
post #58 of 119
6/29/06 at 1:59pm
Collegemama, congrats on your A! That is awesome.
post #59 of 119
6/29/06 at 2:14pm
I really believe in honoring those instincts. I've taken off the last 10 years to be with my boys. I had planned to take even more. But, this last year just culminated in me being offered the chance to try out a quarter for free.

Stop reading if you don't want to read our sob story.

We went through bankruptcy. My husband had been unable to find steady and reliable employment after leaving the Coast Guard. We left the Coast Guard to be close to family and steady our lives. We weren't doing very well at all. I started looking for jobs and could not find anything. DSHS wanted me to put all the kids in childcare right away and they would help us, but I would have to take the first job offer no matter what. We were both so depressed.

My dh went into our local Community College and signed up. He had his GI Bill and that would at the very least cover our mortgage every month. The counselor he went to then asked if I would like to come in and sign up for a special program for moms. I got everything paid for tuition, books, and supplies for the first quarter. So, if I didn't feel right I wouldn't have to continue.

I took that chance and it's been wonderful. I feel so good. A lot of things changed in our lives. My boys stop homeschooling, we got counseling for our oldest for Aspergers.

The list just really goes on and on. It all happened and happened wonderfully. We are doing very well now. We manage without having permanent jobs. My dh does some Ebay and this summer he is doing some house painting because the quarter is shorter and we have a long break.

My boys are really happy and transitioning well. We lucked out with a great school that has a full-time Psychologist. Our previous experience was horrible and they did not take me seriously when I tried to get our son diagnosed with Aspergers. It was horrible and I still cry over it.

This is all to stay...that whatever path you choose will be a new path. You won't know what could have happened on that other path. You will just be able to move along this path you are on. But, I really do believe if we honor those instincts that there are rewards on the journey.

This summer I'm taking two night classes and one online, so I get the whole day with my boys. In the fall, both of my big boys will be in school full-time and I get to spend all Tuesday and Thursday with my 3yob. He really, really deserves some special time with Mom.

Big hugs.
post #60 of 119
6/29/06 at 2:59pm
I want to agree with trusting your gut. I waited until my youngest was in Kindergarten to start school. My youngest and oldest are 20 years apart, so i had a 26 year gap in my education.

I just found out I got a high A on my lab exam and I presently have a 94%. I'm taking my final tomorrow, I'm nervous but excited to have the rest of the summer off..well, except for preparing to CLEP Chem.
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