Dealing with sibs and the new baby

[Satori]

Dealing with the baby is easy so far, dealing with my almost 6 yr old is another matter. I had a c/s and part of it looks to be infected and she keeps hitting the darn thing even though its on accident (see Dr tomorrow morning about it) but she won't leave me alone when I demand she stay away (i.e. climbing in my bed right next to my stomach rather then behind me ect), she will not leave the baby alone, she's banged her soft spot a couple times already and to make matters worse Lilli has a large soft spot on the back of her head the size of the one in front so even more to watch. She wont let the baby sleep, is having a cow I can't do xyz RIGHT NOW because I can't lift it, move fast enough, what ever and she won't listen worth a dang and I'm ready to ship to my mothers house for a week if she'd take her. Please tell me this will pass soon!? I can't take any more of her defiance, she doesn't listen to a dang word and she's creating dangerous situations in the house for both me and the baby. Right now she just dragged the rolled up inflatable bed into the hall way I'm not sure I can get over and no way can I lift it. My mom left it in the middle of the living room floor when she dropped dd off rather then putting it back where she got it. She's leaving junk all over the living room floor and I can barely get to the pack n play to get what I need to change baby or put her down, I mean, she's ripping the house apart and I have no one that can take her since everyone has left town or is leaving town and is busy packing. Its frustrating, I can't bend down to pick up stuff, walking is hard enough, I don't need to be dealing with dd's defiance too.

[Simplicity]

I'm sorry mama that you're going through this right now. I think it's normal for an only child to have a reaction to the new changes in the home. She sounds like she want's some attention also. I can't imagine how hard that would be. I'm about to have my 2nd but my son is going on 12 this year.

Maybe sit her down and say to her that mommy needs her to be a big girl and clean up after herself right now. That you need some help. Maybe ask a friend or family member to come over and help out or something so you can get around your home.

I hope this passes soon for you!

[StacyL]

Hugs, Mama.

I am going through the same thing with my 20 month-old, though not recovering from a c-section (although recovering from a ten-pounder delivery is pretty ouchy). Me and my dh have been alone with no help for the first 4 days, and today he had to go back to work (he's in medical school) and so I was on my own with the baby and ds.

It is hard to keep them separated and he could harm the baby too, though accidentally in an instant. I can't move fast yet, or pick things up, etc. etc. Today actually went better than I thought it would, as ds was remarkably well-behaved today, but I am on my own again tomorrow. Our help arrives (my aunt) tomorrow night, and she will be here for a week, thank God. My Mom and MIL will be coming a little later to cover a two-week period when dh has to go out of town for school.

It has been really hard, and we have decided next baby we will have to get someone here ASAP! after the birth, as we have no family where we live - they are all on the West coast.

[Amys1st]

Been there done that.

I bow down to you recovering from a c/section and taking care of the baby and older dc

going from 1 to 2 is hard as I am finding out. As I have learned the past few weeks, it gets better as the days go on. Maggie is a really good baby and its true- easier the 2nd time but now you also have to mother the older one too.

[SoCaliMommy]

I'm on my 2day day alone with both and thankfully my almost 3yr old is being pretty good. just likes to constantly get in Ryker's face while he's asleep so she can kiss him.

[Amys1st]

Originally Posted by DustysSweety03

thankfully my almost 3yr old is being pretty good. just likes to constantly get in Ryker's face while he's asleep so she can kiss him.

that would be my 4 yr old Liz too

[MyLittleWonders]

When ds#2 was born, we had about 2 weeks of almost h*ll with ds#1 (who was 2 1/2 at the time). I would seriously sit on the couch nursing ds#2 and cry, thinking I had somehow ruined my first son by having another. But, it does pass ... it doesn't seem like it at the time, and I am extremely impressed that you are dealing with it alone and recovering from a c-section. But, it does get better. Not only is your first dd dealing with a new sibling, but I have a feeling, somewhere in there she is freaked out about mommy's surgery and boo-boo, and just doesn't know how to deal with it. Baby #3 here is technically past-due, and we've been dealing with tantrums from ds#1 for about 2 weeks already ... and most of it I attribute to him being very anxious about mommy getting boo-boo's having the baby (we've been reading books and watching movies about homebirths so he has an idea; plus I've told him about how mommy will have a boo-boo for a while so her body can heal ... ). Children don't know what to do when their parent is sick or injured - I think it throws there little world into a tailspin. Hopefully as she adjusts to the new baby and also as you begin to heal (may that be quick!), she will settle down more and more and things will eventually go back to peace. to you until then.