Originally Posted by dove
yes, looking to others who are less fortunate can definitely put things into perspective, but it doesn't erase one's own feelings, nor should it. I don't see why the caring and compassion can't go both ways. That is what is actually really irking me. I remember feeling like I was just drowning in the absolute most horrific, hearwrenching time of my life, but it still didn't turn my ability to have compassion for others off, no matter what they were going through. I guess some people just have immense capabilities for caring and concern and some don't. I should not expect that of others, evidently.
First, I am sorry for whatever you have been through. I don't know your story, but I wanted to address what you have said and let you know that I do have compassion and I do care for others. I have been through 9 months of hell. I feel completely empty inside but that does not mean I don't care about others feelings. It is very hard for me to show feelings to other people now b/c I am so wrapped in my own grief x 2. Something is important to everyone and I can respect that. What I have a problem with is the insensitivity that Kelly spoke of and that I have personally experienced. I try to think the best of people, but there is something a little bit cruel about a person approaching you and saying, "So, did you have a miscarriage or something? My sister had one of those and it was no big deal." Or, how about "Just be glad you can have more, honey." And yes, those were both comments made to me not 2 weeks pp. One was at my daughter's funeral!
Losing a child has taught me so many lessons about life that I probably would not have experienced had I not lost a child. I was overwhelmed by the caring and compassion of complete and total strangers from all over the world and also right here at MDC. I could write a novel about what people have done for us since Reagan died. People I will probably never meet, but that took the time out of their lives, their busy schedules, forgot about their own problems and completely enveloped my family with love.
Honestly, people need perspective sometimes. I have a hard time being compassionate and feeling sorry for those who mourn their birth not going the way they planned. They do have a right to how they feel but to say something like that to a mother who's arms are empty is completely out of line. Forgive me, but I would trade places with them in a second.