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Cesarean Birth Support Thread June/July - Page 4

post #61 of 84
I don't know if you ever get past it....maybe going through it is a better phrase. When I was pregnant with ds (#2) I journed a LOT about my birth experience with dd (failed induction at 42 weeks with high BP, c/s) and cried a lot too. I wouldn't say I got over it, but I really let myself feel everything (such as that I felt cheated out of a birth, was mad at myself, the midwife and dh, etc) and that was so helpful.

So when we had to make some decisions about ds's birth, and we chose a repeat c/s at 43 weeks with high bp and baby transverse, I knew that I had done everything I felt comfortable with doing to VBAC and so was okay with the c/s. Sad, but not traumatized. Hope that makes sense.
post #62 of 84
Quote:
Originally Posted by Storm Bride
I've been privately thinking of mine as a babyectomy for years, and recently shared the term with the ladies on ICAN. I have to confess that I don't mean anything cute by it, though. I just feel that "cesarean" tends to emotionally obscure the fact that it's surgery.
Oh! That was you!? I recently posted the hysterotomy article. I like babyetomy though.

Quote:
Originally Posted by coloradoalice
And, from all apperances, my tail bone was most likely a huge reason why I ended up with c-sections. The bone structure in my pelvis is definiately off, and the bottom of my tailbone points straight into my pelvis.
I started with a new chiro after my dd was born. The guy was great - his son was a homebirth in FL (with a midwife who was "illegal" ), non-vaxing, natural-healthy oriented. He said that my pelvis was pushed forward and my tailbone curved in which probably explained why my dd never engaged. He was trying to fix my pelvis so I was really hopeful for a vbac. Unfortunately, he recently passed away and I feel so depressed. I research and encourage vbac but part of me doesn't really think it will ever happen for me.

I will definitely have a back up plan for a more satisfying c-s. Last time it was unexpected (after an uneventful pg). I was so just sad that I had no part in bringing her into the world. I want to see her come out, I wanted to see her all goopy, and I want her in recovery with me-not like last time!
post #63 of 84
Quote:
Originally Posted by dlm194
Oh! That was you!? I recently posted the hysterotomy article. I like babyetomy though.
Thanks for posting that. It was one of those things that I couldn't decide whether it qualified as funny or tragic. I loved the bit about "keeping obstetrics at the forefront of medical science"...almost spit coffee all over my keyboard! I do think hysterotomy sounds more medical - maybe not quite as reassuring to some people as "cesarean section" or "cesarean delivery".
post #64 of 84
My DS is a C-section baby. I had a placental abruption--I spotted during my entire pregnancy, from 5 weeks onward, and was put on bed rest at 29 weeks. I took Lamaze classes anyway in the hopes that I could have a natural delivery. My doctors planned to induce at 39 weeks because of my issues, but at 38 weeks, my water broke and I started bleeding--a lot. My doctors started Pitocin, then Cervadil, then Pitocin, for 36 hours, and I never dilated. I never even effaced all the way. Then at the 36th hour, I had another bleeding episode. My doctor at that point said that it was best to go to a C-section while DS was still thriving. I had the spinal at 5:30 and he was born at 6:02 p.m. I breastfed him for the first time at 8:30. I had no breastfeeding issues, very few recovery problems, no PPD, and I was just thankful at that point that he came into the world safe and sound. My only regret is not getting to hold him immediately after he was born (although thankfully, DH did)--for that reason, I'm going to try for a VBAC with the next child.
post #65 of 84
My son was born by "emergency" c-section on November 1st. It was a horribly traumatic experience. I came in fully dilated, wondering if I was in labour and it took almost two hours to get anyone to check me, once they did they found out he was crowning frank breech and the OB shoved him back up toward my womb and held him up there while they ran me upstairs for the surgery. At first I was yelling at them that I was going to deliver vaginally and they kept saying "no", but after a while they just ignored me. I learned later that this is their policy, and it wouldn't have mattered if they'd literally dragged me up while I was screaming "I don't consent" - they do it anyway.
Thing is, I didn't get a healthy baby out of it all - he died of a birth defect before I even woke up. He died in my husband's arms, without tubes, and I'm so grateful for that... but I'm so angry and feel very violated about the section and the way I was treated after.
I wrote out my birth story in three parts here:
http://babyslime.livejournal.com/281749.html
http://babyslime.livejournal.com/282008.html
http://babyslime.livejournal.com/282126.html In case anyone's interested.

I went to my first ICAN meeting just a little bit ago, and it was an incredibly healing experience. I felt like I finally had a safe and good place to tell my story, and his story, and not feel judged. Everyone loves to shoot back about how grateful and how wonderful their c/s experiences were and how everyone else needs to just "Get over it" and be like them - but I, and all the other women there at that meeting, felt raped by their sections.
I'm currently pregnant again, due in October - I'm having a UBAC.
post #66 of 84
Littleteapot, your story is so beautiful and so sad.
post #67 of 84
Wow, what a great supportive thread!

I had my DS by c-section in March, 2003 after 34 hours of labor and 2 hours of pushing. He was posterior and ended up weighing 9 lb 13 oz. Thankfully, it wasn't an emergency c-section and DS was born screaming and perfectly healthy. I, however, started hemorraging and needed 3 blood transfusions. They didn't even show him to me over the sheet after he was born - I had to wait 15 minutes while they weighed him, cleaned him up, etc. Then they showed him to me very quickly, but then took him off to the nursery and DH went with him. DS was perfectly fine and had absolutely no problems. I was bleeding very badly at the time, so maybe that was part of it.
Everything after that is a blur because they drugged me up with morphine, etc. Long story short, I don't even remember holding him for the first time and had a very hard time bonding with him due to the circumstances. I ended up with PPD and it's been a long struggle to come to terms with my delivery. I can't say I am completely at peace with it, but I have worked through much of my disappointment.

I am pregnant again and due in November. I will be having a planned c-section and I'm at peace with that. I am however, a bit nervous about things repeating - such as me not seeing my baby for a while, etc. I have put together a detailed birth plan and thankfully - after doing some research - it appears that the hospital I will be delivering at is very pro-keep-mom-and-baby-together-at-all-times. I'm sure things will be much better.

One question though - I just got off the phone talking to a childbirth educator at the hospital who filled me in on hospital policies etc. I feel very comfortable with everything but one thing bothered me. She said they do NOT allow mom to hold the baby while they are stitching her back up. Mom isn't allowed to hold the baby until she is in recovery. I asked her why and she said it was because mom's arms will have the blood pressure cuff on, etc. and it wouldn't be very safe. But I've heard of many mothers who have held their babies then and it makes a huge difference in bonding with their baby. Women who have their babies vaginally are allowed to hold their babies on their chests right away after birth! Why is my hospital denying c-section moms this? I completely understand that if something is wrong with the baby or I'm not doing so well that it may not happen. But it really bothers me to be told its not an option. I didn't argue with the woman because she can't really do anything, but what can I do?


I plan on talking to my doctor at my next prenatal visit about this and my other birth plan wishes. Any ideas? Can they seriously keep me from holding my baby? It is MY baby and I should be allowed to hold her if I want to! That just really bothers me. :

On the plus side, I asked her how they would respond if I declined the eye ointment and Vitamin K vaccines and she said I would just be asked to sign a waiver and that's all. Also they will not give the Hep B (which we are also declining) without the parents signing a consent form. So that's a relief.
post #68 of 84
Quote:
Originally Posted by Erikajo
upOne question though - I just got off the phone talking to a childbirth educator at the hospital who filled me in on hospital policies etc. I feel very comfortable with everything but one thing bothered me. She said they do NOT allow mom to hold the baby while they are stitching her back up. Mom isn't allowed to hold the baby until she is in recovery. I asked her why and she said it was because mom's arms will have the blood pressure cuff on, etc. and it wouldn't be very safe. But I've heard of many mothers who have held their babies then and it makes a huge difference in bonding with their baby. Women who have their babies vaginally are allowed to hold their babies on their chests right away after birth! Why is my hospital denying c-section moms this?
The blood pressure cuff thing is weird, as my bp cuff was kept on in recovery, as well. With ds2, I was nursing in recovery (first time - 3rd section). But, I couldn't have held my baby while I was being stitched up. My arms were at my sides, and I was all hooked up to IVs and such.

Is it possible to ask for a modification? I couldn't actually hold dd or ds2 while being stitched up. (The question didn't arise with ds1, as I was unconscious.) But, my dh held the baby with me. That way, while I wasn't actually holding my baby, in the sense of supporting baby's weight, I was able to touch her/him and feel them pressed up against me. It helped...it helped quite a lot.

Even if you can't...I didn't find that the short period of time separated from ds2 was too terrible. DH took him to the recovery room in the bassinet, while the nurse wheeled me down there. As soon as she had me set up with my monitors, she got dh to pass ds2 to me, and got him latched. He'd only been out for...15 minutes, maybe? I'm not exactly sure, as the sheer terror kind of warps my time sense, but it wasn't a very long time. (With dd, it was almost two hours before I could hold and nurse her, and it was about 12-14 hours with ds1.)
post #69 of 84
Quote:
Originally Posted by Erikajo
I, however, started hemorraging and needed 3 blood transfusions. had a very hard time bonding with him due to the circumstances.
I hemorrhaged twice after my first DD,s birth (one right afrer delivery. 2nd 2 days later) and I also had 3 blood transfusions. Even though it was a drug-free waterbirth and my second was a c-sect. due to being transverse breech, the first birth was MUCH harder to recover from (physically and emotionally). I think there's a lot of emotional baggage to wade through when there's an unplanned trauma.

Even though a c-sect was far from how I ever wanted to birth, we sort of knew it was an inevitability for DD#2 (because the stinker would NOT turn for love or money) so when my water broke and she was still breech, I was at peace with knowing she would be birthed surgically. Mind you, I wasn't happy about it, but I was prepared for it and understood the necessity of it. That made it far less emotionally devastating for me.

I wish you a birth you can experience with peace of mind, heart, body, and spirit.
post #70 of 84
The woman from the hospital just called me back and said she was wrong about them lowering the drape. They do not allow that - something about the sterile environment. They will however set up a mirror so I can see that way.
I am really disappointed - I had really wanted them to lower the drape so I could see my baby born. A mirror will help, but it's just not the same. I understand about the sterile environment, but I am not asking to touch anything - just to watch. And they can put the drape right back up afterwards. I see so many women whose doctors & hospitals do allow this. Is there anything I can do?


Stormbride, you're right - it really isn't that long of a period and my DH is allowed to hold the baby, so she will be right near me. I'm not going to worry about it. Either way it will be much better than my prior birth!

Mamatoto2 - I'm sorry you had to go through that. Thanks for your support.
post #71 of 84
Quote:
Originally Posted by Erikajo
Stormbride, you're right - it really isn't that long of a period and my DH is allowed to hold the baby, so she will be right near me. I'm not going to worry about it. Either way it will be much better than my prior birth!
That's my feeling, too. It still sucked to be separated from ds2 at all, but those few minutes were nothing like the previous experiences. And, I did get to pseudo-hold him in OR...just couldn't take his weight. Even being able to touch dd's face was something.

I don't think it's a coincidence that breastfeeding went more smoothly with ds2 than with either of my others.
post #72 of 84
would a video help? I swore that I would videotape my next birth, whatever kind I had, and wouldn't you know that the anesthesiologist didn't press the button? he thought he was taping but no. my point is you can still watch your dc be born, just maybe a few days later.

My dh was insistent that he go with ds at all times and he even did his first bath, was there for the measurements, and was the one who brought him to me in recovery where I nursed. I think ds and I were separated for all of 20 minutes, which was pretty great compared to how it went with dd.
post #73 of 84
Quote:
Originally Posted by mamabeth
would a video help? I swore that I would videotape my next birth, whatever kind I had, and wouldn't you know that the anesthesiologist didn't press the button? he thought he was taping but no. my point is you can still watch your dc be born, just maybe a few days later.
I really wanted to videotape my c-section, but it wasn't allowed (I think for liability reasons, in case we caught them doing something on the tape or something like that). They did ask me if *they* could video the c-section to use as a teaching tool (but that I wouldn't be allowed to see). Um. . . NO! (It would have been fine with me if I'd been allowed to have a copy too). They also only allowed me to have two people in the OR, but then asked if they could have medical students in to watch. . . Again, NO WAY! Grrrr. . .

Lex
post #74 of 84
Well, actually ours didn't allow video either. But we had video on our still digital camera and so they looked the other way. not like it mattered because he didn't get it, but nice to know we COULD have
post #75 of 84
Our hosptial does not allow video taping during c/s - but when I talked to my OB about either droping curtain or putting up mirrors he said an alternate could be to bring the video camera and not record - but position it so I can see the screen as DH shoots the birth. While we might do this to "sneak" in a video of the birth - I told the OB that I would prefer not to do that as it would be way to easy to miss on that small screen.

Lex - Wow - they actually refused you a chance to video tape the c/s and then asked if they could be wouldn't let you have a copy?!! That is some nerve!!
post #76 of 84
I couldn't have held DS in the OR even if that had let me--the epidural made me shake so badly, they couldn't keep a heart monitor on me. I was in recovery for a few minutes before I stopped shaking. (Another reason I want to do this naturally next time.)

However, DH held DS right next to me, and I was able to touch his head at least. Then DH went into the nursery with him--they cleaned him off, etc., then brought him to me while I was in the recovery room. I got to hold him then, even though the cuff was still on and my IVs were in place.
post #77 of 84
I was shaking really badly from the spinal and hormones (apparently this sometimes happens in natural childbirth too) and the moment that i got to hold her in my arms in recovery, the shaking stopped (well, in my arms, later it moved to my legs). Weird.

I have had two sections, one for breech and the second for low AFI at term. This time i am planning a HBA2C.
post #78 of 84
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by may05mommy
I couldn't have held DS in the OR even if that had let me--the epidural made me shake so badly, they couldn't keep a heart monitor on me. I was in recovery for a few minutes before I stopped shaking. (Another reason I want to do this naturally next time.)

However, DH held DS right next to me, and I was able to touch his head at least. Then DH went into the nursery with him--they cleaned him off, etc., then brought him to me while I was in the recovery room. I got to hold him then, even though the cuff was still on and my IVs were in place.
Same for me, my arms were really numb the for my second section, it was kind of weird. I wouldn't have been able to support him, but it was just absolutely wonderful to have my husband hold him right up against my face where I could smell his newness and feel his little chubby cheeks! : It was pure bliss after my first section where my daughter was whisked off to the NICU and I didn't see her for 12 hours.
post #79 of 84
Hi everyone. I used to post to these threads, until after my last c-section I thought I was "done".

First section was for shoulder presentation breech.

Second section was planned as a VBAC, but- ended up another section as his head was so big, and I have a platapoid pelvis which is severe, not allowing me to pass the babies through.

Third was a planned c-section- I had intended to go into labor first, but ended up deciding to schedule as I liked *my* OB and really disliked the other one in the practice.

My OB told me I had a small "rupture" and that I should never have kids again. We took her word for it. A couple of months ago, I went into a new GYN for a Pap and he said what I really had was a window, not nearly such a big deal, and that he felt I was fine to have another . So- he sent me to a high-risk specialist to see if she would agree, and she did. She said I am not higher risk than any other person with 3 sections.

So- I am having a sonohysterogram on Tuesday to check the general state of my uterus, and then I will be "cleared".

If I am so blessed again, I will be planning another section. My last one was the worst by far, so I will be relying on lots of prayer for a better surgery this time. (my second was my best, as I knew it could happen-hadn't considered it the first time).

to all of the mamas posting here, I am glad to be back .
post #80 of 84
How exciting, Patty! I hope that everything goes well and will be praying for a new little one to bless your family!
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