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You don't want an epidural?...HAHAHA you will see! - Page 3

post #41 of 82
6/10/06 at 7:20pm
use their words as fuel!
embrace your pregnancy and your birth.
never fear!
your body knows what its doing, don't doubt it, okay?
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post #42 of 82
6/10/06 at 7:35pm
I have seen women say that crap to other women all the time. Let me give you some positive reinforcement here. A friend of mine having her first baby heard that all day long, every day all the time. It enraged and infuriated her so much that it just cemented her resolve that much more. She did indeed have a drug free birth...with both of her children.

You can do it. You will do it.
post #43 of 82
6/10/06 at 11:04pm
My dd was a planned homebirth. We decided to birth in the hospital because I started leaking 2.5-3 weeks prior to my due date, and decided to induce with pitocin. It is possible to birth on pitocin without pain meds--I did, and was in labor for 15 hours before I started pushing. However, it was difficult --probably one of the most difficult things I've ever done. The key is having a team (doula, doc., dh/dp, MW, RNs--whomever) who are on the same page as you. Sometime during transition I did start mumbling about pain meds. Because MW and DH knew that had not been my intention, they kept distracting me--(e.g. --"oh we'll see how you are doing after we check you next time," MW had my DH cover up the clock so that I wouldn't focus on the time and when the docs. wanted to get things "rolling" by....). Its difficult, but it can be done. Besides the above I would suggest to ust avoid pitocin as much as you can ---think of it almost as a last option, because it can/could have an impact on your decisions.
It's important to consider lots of different scenarios, because one never knows what might happen, but I would echo what some previous posters have said. You have to make the decision that "I am going to birth without pain meds" , "I am going to breastfeed" rather than "I'm planning" or "I'm going to try " --its kind of like saying I'm planning to diet--that usually doesn't lead to the most successful outcomes!
Just my humble opinion, etc.etc. Good Luck!
post #44 of 82
6/11/06 at 7:54pm
You are not in a fantasy world. I did'nt have one with my son at the hospital and of course I didn't have one with my daughter at home.
post #45 of 82
6/11/06 at 7:58pm
you know, I made the mistake of saying after my last homebirth that if I was in the hospital " I would have to had meds" . This DID NOT MEAN I could not handle the pain, but rather it meant that I knew I would have never been allowed the freedom that was needed to birth my last child. Hence, I would have had to have been RESTRAINED with meds. That turned into "she would prefer meds to homebirth".

I let it go. I have to! Bascially after being a doula/cbe/lc and homebirth asst for the past 10 years I KNOW that truly women just want validation for their own poor choices and that is why they insist on projecting that on to me and my experience.

All you can do is smile and walk away.
post #46 of 82
6/11/06 at 8:04pm
Just decide not to get the epidural. I almost gave in after my third night of no sleep and no progress, but called my doula to come instead. She was brilliant with pain relief methods. And my husband helped me stay strong. Tell the nurses from the beginning NOT to offer you ANY drugs. Mine DID! @$%#!

I am SO glad I didn't do it! If I did it, you can (I was on pitocin the WHOLE time!). I really felt amazing and strong and so proud of myself the next day!

Go mighty moms!
post #47 of 82
6/11/06 at 10:11pm
People just say this because they feel inadequate about their own births. Hospital births are traumatic for most women. It is a lot easier to avoid drugs if you have a very vigilant midwife and/or doula to keep nurses from pressuring you to have drugs. Luckily, my first birth was a homebirth, so drugs were not an option - but that's a whole new can of worms for people to make rude comments about!

You can just smile graciously and say, "yes, we'll see." Remain confident that you will be fine without drugs. After the birth, they may even say something crazy like, "well your labor must have been easier than mine." :
post #48 of 82
6/12/06 at 12:07am
Hmm... I remember everyone telling me those same things. I didn't get an epi with my last baby. My nurses actually encouraged me not too. Very cool hospital nurses. Very pro mom. They even gave me a breast pump!
post #49 of 82
6/12/06 at 12:27am
I got the same crap from MY DOCTOR no less. Well, thanks to a super nursing staff and a fabulous husband, I went unmedicated. There were times when I said, "I can't do this" but the nurse said, "you ARE doing it" which reminded me that not only was I doing it, but thousands of other women had before me.

You can do it. Your body was made for this.
post #50 of 82
6/12/06 at 9:05am
Quote:
Originally Posted by mamabugx3
Hmm... I remember everyone telling me those same things. I didn't get an epi with my last baby. My nurses actually encouraged me not too. Very cool hospital nurses. Very pro mom. They even gave me a breast pump!
Thank you for this. Not all L&D nurses are evil drug pushers or pro-epidural for everyone. Some of us actually support moms who wish to go natural.
post #51 of 82
6/12/06 at 9:17am
My Best friend still can't believe I've had one baby let alone two with out a drop of anything. My mom was encouraging me to take an epidural and I wasn't even complaining.. I was moaning with each contrax thats it. Needless to say niether of them was aroune for my second.
I know how annoying it is when so many nay sayers think they need to set you straight.
post #52 of 82
6/12/06 at 10:44am
Many people just don't understand the satisfaction and health benefits of a natural birth, and really it makes perfect sense that they don't. Birth has become so medicalized that most women labor and birth on their backs with many interventions and major physical ramifications. If I had to do all of that I would need an epi too. Just the thought of laboring strapped to a bed on my back makes me want to run screaming. My mil gave birth to her first in Poland without the option of an epidural. It was a horrendous experience for her because she did it with no pain relief just as I described above. She can't understand why I would never get an epi. In fact when I was pregnant with my second daughter she told me that I had done it naturaly once, I could get my epi this time. No way! I don't want a needle in my spine, drugs in my body, a myriad of side effects, increased risk of intervention, episiotomy, c-section, incontinance (even fecal in continance), etc, etc. But how do you explain all that when most people haven't a clue what an epidural really does.
post #53 of 82
6/12/06 at 11:48am
Quote:
Originally Posted by NaomiLorelie
I don't want a needle in my spine, drugs in my body, a myriad of side effects, increased risk of intervention, episiotomy, c-section, incontinance (even fecal in continance), etc, etc. But how do you explain all that when most people haven't a clue what an epidural really does.
This is so true. I think part of the reason so many people act this way about pain relief is because they believe it's harmless and without side effects. Hospitals are "the norm" so a lot of women hear the same stories.

That said, I have gotten the "sure you will do x.... for a week. Then you'll give in and do x" This was about breastfeeding, CIO, making my own baby food, spanking, etc... I think once people find themselves parenting a certain way they think everyone else will do it too. Insecurity, like another poster said.

Hang in there. You will give birth naturally! Your body was made for it.
post #54 of 82
6/12/06 at 12:17pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Finch
Thank you for this. Not all L&D nurses are evil drug pushers or pro-epidural for everyone. Some of us actually support moms who wish to go natural.
No, they are not. I loved my L&D nurses. Since, I was in constantly for Preterm labor with my ds #2, I really got to know them, their stories, etc. They were hardworking, sometimes single moms, who were working very hard. They made me feel very special, and they wanted what was best for my baby and me. They didn't push drugs or epi's on me. I loved the hospital my babies were born in. It had laboring tubs, and your baby got to room with you. It is now our women's clinic, but the same nurses work in our other hospital. Very progressive nurses for such a small city. I feel blessed that I had them attend my birth...
post #55 of 82
6/12/06 at 3:21pm
I was talking to a friend (who has had 2 babies, both with epis) about the benefits of water birth. (She seems fascinated by my homebirthing, so we get into some good conversations.) I told her how water is like getting 500 cc of Demerol without the side effects and she said, "oh, is that what's in the epidural?" I was shocked! Women get epis and don't even KNOW whats in them??!!!! I was like uhh... no, that's a drug cocktail containing cocaine. To me that's like someone handing me pills and telling me to take them and me taking them without even asking what they are... yeah, that'll happen! This may sound horrible, but I have more respect for a woman who knows about the risks of epis and decides to get one (makes an educated decision) than I do for a woman who doesn't bother to educate herself and just follows blindly.
post #56 of 82
6/12/06 at 3:46pm
On the subject of L&D nurses, they aren't neccesarily scary, although there are plenty of bad ones. With my first birth I had a horrible nurse. She was overworked, cranky, and quit my birth after I couldn't sit through a contraction so she could put in an IV. She was awful. BUT the nurses at my second birth ROCKED! My main nurse who was with me the whole time worked with whatever I wanted. It was hospital policy to do CFM for the first twenty minutes. I was fully prepared to fight it but she worked with me to get me standing/sitting with a rocking chair and I was never asked to lie down. CFM wasn't bad at all like that. Then the IV nurse came in. I told her I didn't want any meds, epi, or anything. I was GBS-. She just shrugged and told me that she didn't see any need for an IV then. Didn't even ask me to do a hep lock. One of the other nurses that attended the actual birth had given birth 7 times in a birth center and she was in her sixties! She was having babies naturally when most women were getting the twilight sleep! All in all, if everyone had an experience like mine hospitals wouldn't have to be considered evil, just another choice.
post #57 of 82
6/12/06 at 3:46pm
First of all, ignore all those naysayers. I had no one to talk about natural childbirth with when I was pregnant with my first. Well, there was my Bradley class, but that was such a brief period and I never really connected with anyone. Everyone I knew saw OBs. Everyone had the epidural with one exception - a friend with a blood clotting disorder who went into labor "early" and could not have an epidural.

Second, if you want a natural birth I am sure you are prepared. After all, you are on MDC! I did wind up with an epidural, and with a c/s It was the classic cascade of interventions. Oh, there were so many times I could have bought some more time. My OB was really open to that, but I sort of got desparate and did not have a doula. Just an OB who was at the time dealing with an emergency with another patient (believe me, although I may sound bitter at times, I do count my blessings - namely my beautiful daughter and loving husband). Anyway, by the time they administered the pit, I hadn't slept in over 24 hours, had been through the cervadil inducation, was having back labor and generally at the end of my rope. The pit dropped me over the edge with the added lingering pain and nauseau. But in retrospect, if used correctly, the epidural might not have been a bad thing. It allowed me to get a few hours rest - I pretty much passed out for 3 hours. But I wish I would have had it turned off when I woke up so I could move around. I really hated being like a beached whale - feeling helpless when I should have felt empowered and supported.

Anyway, I think there are situations in which an epidural can help (yikes, I know I'm saying this on MDC!), but for the most part, believe in the process and avoid the epidural at all costs. Surround yourself with loving support and boos and hisses to all those annoying naysayers!!
post #58 of 82
6/12/06 at 5:10pm
I hate comments like that!!!

When I was a first time mom I went through the same thing. I made it a point not to mention my wishes for NCB because I got tired of hearing all the crap that came along with it.

When I got my GTT in my 1st pregnancy, I told the nurse I was more afraid of the needle she was about to stick me with than I was of having a natural childbirth. She laughed at me and said, "Honey, when you walk into that labor room, you'll be SCREAMING for an epidural!" How I wish I could have videotaped my first birth and mailed it to that woman. What they didn't understand was, natural childbirth was just that...natural. I was (and still am) AFRAID of medical intervention. It's not just that I have researched it and found that it's not a good idea for me, it is terrifying to me. So, someone telling me I'd be screaming for an epidural would be like telling someone who has a fire phobia that she should be a firefighter. Seriously, I'm not into NCB because I'm brave and bold.

Which brings me to another point, I hate when people assume I'm only doing natural births because I think it makes me better than someone who uses pain medication. That's not the case at all. Honestly, if a mother brings a loved & cared-for baby into the world, she's a hero to me whether the baby was born in the middle of the woods or on an operating table. I refuse IVs because I don't want to be stuck in a bed with a needle in my arm, not because I'm being hard-headed. I refuse pain medications because I'm afraid it will start a chain of interventions and because it is empowering to me to feel my body working to birth the baby, not because I want a medal.
post #59 of 82
6/12/06 at 5:12pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Finch
Thank you for this. Not all L&D nurses are evil drug pushers or pro-epidural for everyone. Some of us actually support moms who wish to go natural.
I missed this post before.....L&D nurses here are incredible, do you live here?

During my most recent labor I asked the nurse if they had a birth ball, and she misheard me and thought I said "birth plan." She said, "Oh honey, I have read your birth plan, and everyone here has read it, and it is wonderful. I wish every mom would have one." Then after she realized what I had actually said she reiterated that she had my birth plan memorized and had every intention of sticking to it. I think the nurses at my hospital are really pro-NCB but most of the moms that birth there prefer more interventions...of course this is a big homebirthing area so I'm sure a lot of the NCB moms don't end up in the hospital at all.
post #60 of 82
6/12/06 at 5:28pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Amila
Have any first time mommys successfully NOT gotten the epidural, or am I in some fantasy world?
Nope, you are not in a fantasy world. You can have an unmedicated birth. You can breastfeed. People say stupid things because they didn't educate themselves and had no idea how to handle the situations.

I willingly admit that I am a bit of a wimp. Cry at a paper cut (there are a lot of nerve endings on your fingers!) Petrified of needles. Never had an IV. The very idea makes me faint. So I HAD to figure out a way to pull off natural childbirth. And I did - Bradley classes!

NO ONE believed I could do it. NO ONE. Not even my dh (though to his credit he didn't tell me that til after I did it). Well, that is not true - **I** knew I could do it. My childbirth teacher knew I could do it. So there were two of us!

I really didn't find childbirth painful at all. Hard work. Muscles working. Tightening. Burning a bit (that ring of fire thing when baby crowns but that is quick). Listen to your body. Move, move, move (lots of walking in between contractions). Drink water throughout your labor.

It is INCREDIBLE - the "I am woman; hear me roar" feeling you get after you have a baby without meds. There is nothing like it. The absolute most empowering thing in the world.

I have had all three births completely natural (all with midwives - one in a hospital, one in a freestanding birth center, and one at home). Never, not for one second, did I think I couldn't do it. I never even considered the epidural. Hell, I didn't even get in the tub! I was holding that out for when things got bad - but they never got that bad!

You can absolutely do it! And seeing all the women who told you you couldn't - after you do - will be SO fun!
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